Girlfriend of three years left me again, still madly in love with her.

[ethanpmufc]

Hi Guys, I'm new to this forum, forgive me while I bring you up to scratch with my heartbreaking situation. I moved to University three years ago and met the woman of my dreams. Before I moved away I had family issues when I was very young, involving the loss of both parents and then my adopted parents divorcing. Resulting with myself being without a mother for a good 20 years as she left the country without contact. All my life I would not commit to woman with the fear of being hurt. I had fun and although I let of women down, they understand my reasons for being a 'lone wolf' so to speak.

 

I met my girlfriend in the first year of University, I instantly let all these walls down and let her in. I met my sole mate, we laugh, understand each other and have an amazing attraction towards one another. I spent the next 2 years living with her, spending as much time together as we possibly could. Her parents live local to the University so home isn't too far away. I did not know of her ex boyfriend who also lives local, somebody who treated her like absolute garbage for the few months they were together. Last year she cheated on me with him then broke up with me, I did not find out until 2 weeks later as she still lived with me and treated me as a 'friend'. I bought her roses, love letters, the lot as she said we weren't working and it drove me crazy. Eventually we got back together as he wasn't interested in anything more than a one night stand. Everything was fine for a good few months. Then again he was back in the picture out of nowhere. She broke up with saying she wants to be friends. a week later she slept with the same guy. Used me as a friend for my money and company. I remember one night I was cooking her a roast dinner as a 'friend' and when I passed her a drink she was sat there texting him.

 

I know you're probably thinking I'm insane but I absolutely adore this girl, she is the only single person I have ever truly loved due to lack of family. Again, he flogged her off and she came back to me three months later but this time did not tell any of her friends or family. Out of nowhere last week she breaks up with me again and promises me she wants nothing to do with this other guy, she wants to go travelling around Europe and find herself which I understand. Long story short she came over last night as my housemates are mutual friends. She stayed in the spare bedroom but asked me to stay with her. I said no. She wants to be friends but it's absolutely heartbreaking and everyone who knows us is aware of the perpetual love I hold for her. I want her back, but everyone say's i'm a fool. Perhaps because of my childhood and the fear of being left alone, I'm not sure. I just don't know what to do. Any judgement is clouded by my feelings towards her and she is convinced she has done nothing wrong and I end up believing her. I simply cannot hate her. I can't imagine my life without her and she can't seem to let me go to an extent. She's asked if she can stay again in a few days.

 

Please can somebody knock some sense in to me, or tips on how to make her realise what she has in front of me. I'm 23, she's 22. Thank you for your time, any comments would be much appreciated.

 

Ethan

[aloneinaz]

She's toxic, immature and self centered. You need to remove her from your life. How many times has she cheated on you? How many times has she dumped you? You're being her door matt. You need to tell her you have no further interest in having any relationship with her and move on and heal.

 

I get she's your first "love" that you let your guard around. There's plenty of other women who you can do the same with who won't cheat on you, use you and crap on you.

 

Seriously, end any contact and move on w/your life.

[Chi townD]

Funny how you said that she was with her Ex that treated her like garbage the last few months of their relationship. And yet, what did she do to you the last few months with a realtionship with you? Treated YOU like trash!

 

You need to seek professional help. And I'm not saying that to be an asshat. You need to talk to a professional to help you deal with these underlying abandonment issuses that you're having.

 

The reason why it is so hard for you to let go is because this is the FIRST time in your life that you let the walls come down and have a person see you for who you are. To see the real you. She got you to a point that you could open up to her about anything. Someone you could confide in and it felt good. And now that's gone, you don't want to lose it.

 

But, you have to look at the facts. She cheated on you twice and she will continue to cheat on you because YOU KEEP TAKING HER BACK!!! I'll give you kudos when she wanted you to stay with her in the spare room with her and you turned her down. That probably sent her for a loop! Probably surprised the hell out of her that you found your spine!

 

She made the decision that she values her Ex more than you. And you can argue with me that she doesn't, but the first time he showed ANY interest in her again, she cheated on you and kicked you to the curb without batting an eyelash. Not once, but twice!

 

Dude, you deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone better that knows how to treat her man. She'll know that if her man treats her with respect, kindness and love, she would have NO REASON to cheat; because, she'll know that she has a good thing.

 

My advice, go complete No Contact with her. None. You are not her friend! I'm sure you didn't get into a loving,caring and intimate relationship with her for the end result is that you're nothing more than a really good friend to her.

 

Seek individual counseling, VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THIS!!!! Start rebuilding your life. And block her on your Facebook! You don't need to see pics and status updates on the wonderful time she's having with her Ex or someone else.