tookeenortoomean Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I won't bore you with all the details, but basically a while back I met a guy through a course I was doing, we saw each other every day for 2 weeks, and I haven't seen him face-to-face since. I wanted to keep up contact (I like him, but right now I just care about being friendly and maintaining our friendship) so I've been talking to him a little online here and there. I will be hopefully seeing him again in a different course soon. So about 2 weeks ago, we had a conversation throughout the day (like 30min-1h between responses) and were talking about all this stuff - then he said 'we should hang out sometime'. I went out in the meantime, didn't see it or reply till about 5h later (but he could see that I hadn't seen it, and I wasn't just ignoring him). I replied with 'yay! that would be fun!' and I genuinely meant it. But I've heard people saying that 'that would be fun' is a response you give when you want to blow people off. I haven't had a response yet, so I was worried I kind of blew him off when that wasn't my intention at all, but he doesn't reply that frequently so he could just be busy. But now I'm worried that the 'yay' makes it seem like I was a little too keen and scared him off? We're just friends at the moment. I don't know why I typed 'yay', but I say that to other people, so... Anyway, what do you think? What should I do? Help! I'm really worried I messed up our friendship and any hope of anything more. By the way, I know online communication isn't ideal but I don't have his number and I can't see him face to face right now.
clia Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 You are completely overthinking this. I don't see anything wrong with your response, and I've never heard of that being the response to use to blow someone off. I can't imagine why you would think that response would ruin your friendship. (What am I missing???) The problem with saying 'yay! that would be fun!' is that it doesn't continue the conversation at all. There was really no reason for him to immediately respond. If you had said "Yay! That would be fun! When?" At this point, you've indicated that you'd like to get together. So now...you wait. 2
soccerrprp Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 But I've heard people saying that 'that would be fun' is a response you give when you want to blow people off. I haven't had a response yet, so I was worried I kind of blew him off when that wasn't my intention at all, but he doesn't reply that frequently so he could just be busy. But now I'm worried that the 'yay' makes it seem like I was a little too keen and scared him off? Never, ever heard of this. Ever.... Please allow me to go further....this is simply not true. Where do people come up with such absurdities?
Author tookeenortoomean Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 Thanks for your replies - they really made me feel better I probably was overthinking it - I just get very paranoid when I don't get a response from someone I like. I can't imagine why you would think that response would ruin your friendship. (What am I missing???) I just felt like I haven't let him know that I like him in that way yet, and reading over the message I sent, the 'yay!' seemed like it was making it very obvious and desperate. I really didn't mean it like that, but you can't convey tone in a message, so I don't know how he read it. I'm hoping, if he doesn't share the same feelings for me, that it doesn't make it awkward. Do you think it really implies anything? But anyway, thanks, and sorry for overanalysing so much! It's hard not to while waiting (I did put some other generic stuff in the message regarding previous things we were talking about so he does have something to reply to).
Archgirl Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Thanks for your replies - they really made me feel better I probably was overthinking it - I just get very paranoid when I don't get a response from someone I like. I just felt like I haven't let him know that I like him in that way yet, and reading over the message I sent, the 'yay!' seemed like it was making it very obvious and desperate. I really didn't mean it like that, but you can't convey tone in a message, so I don't know how he read it. I'm hoping, if he doesn't share the same feelings for me, that it doesn't make it awkward. Do you think it really implies anything? But anyway, thanks, and sorry for overanalysing so much! It's hard not to while waiting (I did put some other generic stuff in the message regarding previous things we were talking about so he does have something to reply to). Sweetheart if you don't calm down you are going to scare him away so quick and also drive yourself crazy. Don't "wait" for his reponse. He's not hanging on your every message. Go do something else, focus on doing stuff in your life that is about what makes you and makes your feel good. You are the prize. Not him. Fundamentally you just plain do not need him. You are awesome. Your life is awesome. If he doesn't snap you up and lock you down he's a dick and there'll be another one along soon enough. Basically what I'm saying is chill the f___ out and regain your sense of pride and self worth. Or you will communicate neediness and desperation for approval to this guy with every message. No one sane wants that sort of pressure/responsibility. He will either run so fast you won't even see him go or he will abuse the power over you you have handed him on a silver platter and make you miserable.
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