Dundas Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 It's been a long 3 months since my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me for another guy and it's still all I ever think about. It's constantly on my mind and I'm just both physically and mentally exhausted. I went from having that one person that I was so close to for so long, wrapped my entire world around her - to having to start back up from nothing. I have been making new friends but I don't feel close to them, I don't feel close to anybody. I have to force myself to get out of the house and hang out with people when I'm not at work, or else I just want to lay in bed all day. I still have breakdowns when I'm alone almost daily and it's exhausting. I put all I had into that relationship and the only thing I was left with was watching her leave me for some guy who called me his "friend" and being told "The only reason I even liked you was because I thought you were an a*hole," "I wish I had never been with you," and "I'm erasing my past and moving on." She was a very good girlfriend while it lasted, she was my first love but she really walked all over me at the end and it feels like she just threw me out like garbage. She relieves my shift once a week, so I still see her from time-to-time and I'm tempted to try and get some closure, but I think she would just ignore me - I feel like I need it, though. I think I rely on others to give me happiness, and I'm afraid I'll never find someone as beautiful as she was and who accepted me in many ways like she did. These stupid conversations are constantly playing in my mind and I've been so depressed and have no desire to be with any girl, not even her anymore. I'm afraid I'll never fall for someone like I did her. How do I get through this?!
Pisces13 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Go to the gym. Exercise helps to release endorphin's which make you feel happier/better, and any gains you make will help to boost your confidence and self esteem back up. Outside of that, have you gone to counselling or anything like that? Talking and not bottling everything up inside definitely helps as well.
Ordinaryday Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Before you can get rid of the depression you have to embrace it. Too many people think the way to get over depression is to act like they are all happy and their life is perfect, lying to both others and themselves. This only makes it worse because The depression is still there but you not acknowledging makes it worse because until you get in touch with it and accept it you never get over it. Things that have helped me: 1) write the most vicious nasty letter you can to your ex, get it all down on paper, read over it 100 times and then tear it up. Even if she is not a horrible person, doing this will help you feel slightly better about her absence. 2) ignore her, pay her no attention. Delete her from fb, and from your life. 1
Debbie2508 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I agree with ordinary day. There is no quick or easy way to get over it,you just have to face it full on.Accept you're going to feel absolutely awful for as long as it takes......but know that,one day, you will start to feel better. It's been 6 months for me,and I've seen a huge difference in the last 2 weeks. This time last month I would come home from work and just lie on my bed crying and wishing I would die. I thought about him and the rs non stop,analysing every conversation we had,every thing we'd done together and desperately tried to figure out what went wrong. My friends were all worried about me,but didn't understand that it wasn't a case of finding a new hobby,or a new partner. And yes.....I realised there were people in the world suffering from far worse problems,but that meant nothing to me. I was suffering the most horrendous pain ,I was at the bottom of a dark hole,and didn't know how to climb back up.I didn't even want to try. The way you feel is perfectly understandable and nothing to be ashamed about. You've lost someone you loved ,and that takes time,and a hell of a lot of soul searching to deal with. I literally hated myself,felt I wasn't good enough ,and found the feelings of rejection crippling. I don't have any magic words or advice for you,I'm afraid. I just want you to know that it will start to get easier. You probably won't believe that yet,I know I wouldn't have,a few weeks ago.......but trust me,I've been there. Chin up :-) 2
hoping2heal Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I'm afraid I'll never find someone as beautiful as she was and who accepted me in many ways like she did. These stupid conversations are constantly playing in my mind and I've been so depressed and have no desire to be with any girl, not even her anymore. I'm afraid I'll never fall for someone like I did her. How do I get through this?! Duuuude, your idea of beautiful is someone who leaves you for someone else after 2/5 years together? That's beautiful to you?? And what do you mean accept you in all the ways she did..she didn't accept you. Do you see her anywhere? Neither do I. Now real talk, If you rely on others for happiness then you might have damn near suffocated her in the relationship, did you do that? How old are you? What kind of work do you do? What do you have going for yourself outside of who you're dating?
Babolat Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Been there before myself and I feel your pain. Google "Grieving"; there are 5 steps that you will go through, and possibly not in any particular order. Embrace them, feel them. let it happen. Start a journal, write daily. You don't have to go back and read it; just get your thoughts on paper. Force yourself to go out. You have to. When friends and family invite you out, go. Join some MeetUps: www.meetup.com. Not to meet your next gf, to get active and try new things and meet new people. MeetUp.com is not all about dating. I am hiking and biking now because of MeetUp.com. Consider going on some low does anti anxiety/panic medication; see your family GP or a Psychiatrist. Let yourself cry. I always fight that. Afterwards I do feel better though. Talk about it with friends and family though pay attention to their reactions. You do not want to get to the point where thatis ALL you ever talk about. I agree on going to the gym: exercise. Remember the bad in the relationship too. And, honestly, she is being a real bitch to you right now...is this what you wanted long term?
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