She still loves me, what do I do.

[Nivram]

my ex girlfriend told me that she still loved me. But she says we can't get back together because it'll be weird and she can't face me. She said things don't just change overnight and even if I have feelings for you we cant get back together. She's afraid if hurting and being hurt. And she told me that if you want me to start texting or talking to you I can't do it.

 

I want to start out as friends, but she said she wanted nothing but to let me know she still loved me. She says after all this time she depended on herself etc, I tried talking to her one the phone but she said it felt weird because its been so long since she did that with anyone.

 

I wrote this to her, do you think it's appropriate

 

I do hope that one day you’ll find happiness. Although its been 5 months its still too real. The pain is still there thats why we can’t even communicate properly. I contradict myself sometimes. I know that we can’t change things overnight, and for now theres still so much tension in the air.

I’ll live my life and you live yours. Whenever you’re down, remember that someone cares. We both want different things, or maybe we don’t know what we want. Thats why we never see eye to eye.I hope one day we find the answers to all our questions. So good luck with your studies and I wish you the best. I’m leaving my door open. But I’ll continue to move on.

The pain will go away.

Perhaps one day we will find our way back to each other and finally agree on things. Or perhaps not. I would love to have us start as friends, if no new memories are created only the past will remain. Everything we know is of the past, whats to say things would turn out differently? I would take things slow. And maybe one day, we might learn to love right again.

Take care

 

 

I really want to get to know her again. And I want her back in my life too, is there anyway Iv can make her feel comfortable around me again?

Should I give it a few days or a week to cool down and then start with short texts showing that I care?

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Edited July 3, 2013 by Nivram

[thefooloftheyear]

Oh man...I feel bad to say this to you, but think about it...

 

I LOVE my mother..She is a pain in the ass at times, but I would never let her down...ever..til the day I am pushing daisies....Of course the analogy isnt all that accurate because its family, but think about it..What is the "love" she is talking about?

 

Let me fill you in on a secret.."I still love you" falls right behind "its not you -its me"..in the bullshyt lines people who break up with others say to make it less painful (in their eyes) while they unceremoniously drop you on your head! See what I am talking about..?

 

If she really loved you -you wouldn't be where you are now..Youd probably be out enjoying each other.

 

Preserve your dignity..Say your peace to her, be a man and dont get stupid and hysterical and then disappear. NC 24/7/365... Make like a ghost.

 

Heal yourself and find someone else..They(exes) arent that special...Hopeully you will come to this realization..

 

TFY

Edited July 3, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[Nivram]

So there's no way we can ever work this out at all? No way we can start anew?

[soccerrprp]

You need to move on. Work on whatever deficiencies you have and do it for yourself first. Maybe, one day, your ex will see the changes you've made, but your focus shouldn't be for her. You need to work on you for you and look forward to the next relationship you may have.

 

She is correct in saying that whatever lead to this break-up is not going to be solved in such a short period of time. If it had anything to do with your temper, personality, one does not change in a matter of days. It sounds like you need to take some time to help yourself? Do it. But don't get your hopes up. Even after having changed and even if she does see that, she could be with another guy and have moved on.

 

Work on yourself for you and wish her well. Allow her to heal and move on. She deserves that, right?

[Nivram]

I've learn alot during the past 5 months when we are apart and I've already worked on my deficiencies. Trust me when I said i was in the process of moving on, i went nc for 2 months then she texted me, saying she still loved me after all this time.

This just sets me back because i thought she didnt love me anymore, she told it was a lie to make me move on. She said she always had, never stopped and always will love me.

 

Is there no way I can let her see that maybe we can start anew? Get to know each other again? As friends?

[thefooloftheyear]

So there's no way we can ever work this out at all? No way we can start anew?

 

Im not going that far, but think about it..

 

YOU want her...SHE doesnt want you...WHat are you going to "start anew" with? And what makes you think that in a couple of weeks/months she is going to 180 and all of a sudden you are now the best thing since sliced bread? Its not happening.

 

Either way, its out of your control..You cant make her desire you. Thats entirely up to her..Thats why I say disappear. Forget about it. If you can read between the bs you will see thats what she wants you to do. Move along and forget about it. If she had any class thats what she would tell you bluntly instead of waving this stupid imaginary "I love you, but we cant be together" carrot in front of you so you never get to move on with your life. You are perpetually on her leash..EFF THAT!

 

TFY

Edited July 3, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[Nivram]

My ex girlfriend recently texted and said she loved me, always have and always will. I thought she was in a new relationship but she said it was a lie to make me forget her. She says we CANT get back together because she's afraid that we would hurt each other and crash and burn again. She said if i was happy now i should stick to it because she only wants me to be happy. She wants us to move on and she says she's okay with being alone now. She also mentioned that we could learn to love again

 

Should i send this to her?

 

Its July 2013 now and much has changed. Maybe all you wanted to know was if i still loved you, maybe you want us back together but you're afraid. Or maybe you never saw me as someone you wanted to be with again.

 

You might get angry at me for doing this and even hate me for being 'desperate'. The purpose of me doing this is to let you know that we have many wonderful memories together, and that we can create many more.

 

We can take things slow, we can start by short conversations through text and see where it brings us. We can learn to love again and this time do it right because I know we won't make the same mistakes again.

 

I care for you and if you care for me, want to know what im up to and how am I we could start again, we take it slow. As a new start. When I think about us I see the good times, because they far outweigh the bad.

 

We could do so many things differently, look at how much we've grown through the pictures. Every relationship deserves a second chance, a new beginning from the lessons learnt.

 

I'm not saying it's easy but with each other we could make this work. Take this leap of faith, because even after all this time you and I collide.

 

We're like magnets, break us apart and we'll still attract.

 

You can argue and say that its all in the past and I completely agree with you. I just want you to know we can be happy together again.

 

 

This will be my final time, because if there's nothing else we can do. I will move on.

 

We regret the things we never do most, if we try and fail, at least we can look back and say 'hey' at least we tried.

 

I believe if you still have feelings for me, and i have feelings for you. We will find a way, forever and always can be possible.

 

 

I know it's a hard decision to make. You were the best thing that happened to me and I would put in all I can to learn to love again. You once told me if we ever broke up we will fall in love again, look back to when you said that, and how you felt when you said forever and always. We can make it work. But i need your hand.

 

If you need time to think about it and really don't know what you want let me know, but it'll be worth it.

If you still think we should go our separate ways and never have anything to do with each other again, I respect that, if thats what you truly want then just text me one word, 'received' when you read this message.

If you would like us to try and start over as two new people, text me 'I will'.

 

If we choose to move on I don't think we'll ever speak see or hear from each other again. Because thats moving on, I love you and always will. Once i leave im sorry but I think i'll erase you from my life, I'm sorry we can be friends on fb, twitter and insta, i'll delete my tumblr too...

 

I hope i receive an 'I will', love is a beautiful thing and if heaven brought us together and made you realise you never stopped loving me after all this time apart, I hope you make the right choice.

[TaraMaiden]

Absolutely Not.

 

Why?

 

because if she says "I won't" it will devastate you.

 

When she says She CAN'T get back together with you, what she actually means is she doesn't WANT to.

 

bear in mind she lied to you to make you get over her quicker.

 

She's being kind in order to not sound cruel.

 

She has no intention of getting back together with you, but has tried to let you down gently by saying all kinds of sweet, loving, charming things.

 

Unfortunately, in saying all kinds of sweet, loving, charming things, all she's done is get your hopes up.

 

This will merely be creepy to her and frankly, gross her out.

 

She's an ex- for a very good reason.

 

Because that's what she wants to be.

[BC1980]

First, I would never send that based on the obvious hints she has given you.

 

Second, there are several ultimatums in that letter, which give it the wrong tone. That letter would never work to get someone back. In general, I don't think letters work with people, certainly not men. A woman might be more swayed, but she has given you hints that she doesn't want to be with you.

 

I can almost guarantee that you will be rejected (again), and sending this letter has done nothing but bring more pain.

[soccerrprp]

Nivram,

 

No, don't send it. Hey, I am proud HOPEFUL ROMANTIC and understand what you are trying/hoping to do, but I agree with others. If she does reject you, I fear that you would not be able to handle that. Also, she has expressed no interest in wanting to communicate or get back together.

 

As for her saying that she still loves you. I don't know if that is REAL or residual emotions still in play that will soon dissipate.

[thefooloftheyear]

No...

 

Dont do it! Take the advice if the others here and pay close attention to what I said to you in your other thread. She'll only drop you on your head again.

 

Maintain your dignity..Go away..

 

TFY