Why does my ex continue to post this stuff?

[robtax]

I posted here a few days ago about how my girlfriend and I had been arguing lately because she only made time for me when she wanted, never on my time. So, I called her Sunday and wasnt really sure if I was gonna break up with her or just try to talk it out or what. Before I could get to anything, she asked to break up. It was a pretty mutual thing, so I agreed. She is friends with several ex's, and said she wanted to remain friends. I told it would probably be a bit awkward, and told her if she ever wanted to talk to me, should would have to text me, because I would feel like an annoyance if I texted her first.

 

Any way, she texted me for a little bit yesterday and we talked about how we both had feelings for one another, but she said a break is the best thing for us at this point, but she said she really does see a future between us again possibly. Having been in many relationships, I'm not taking anything she says as honest, so I told her as of the moment, if she wanted to try again I was all for it, and that I may be in the future too, but I told her that I wasn't going to wait around for her, and told her that I honestly just didn't know where my heart would be a month from now, and that I had to put myself back out there. She said she didn't expect me to wait around. Anyway, I told her I had to go and said "I'll talk to ya later, bud." She texted back with "Bye I guess." I could tell she was bothered or pissed or something and asked what was wrong and she just said "Nothing. Goodbye." So I haven't talked to her since then, but ever since that little text convo she has been posting pics on facebook, and I sorta feel like she wants me to be jealous, or it could just be in my head. She posted one pic with her and these two guys she is friends with, then she posted a couple of her and her girlfriend at a party last night, and then one of this guy she works with, and she knows that I was jealous of the guy while dating. She even posted a status after going to a theme park with a friend saying something like, "Got a shout out on the ride today from the ride operator dude, Adam :)". She posts pics on facebook, but not this often and they're usually of her. That's why I'm getting the feeling that she is trying to make me jealous. Also, a couple of the pics are several weeks old, so that means she's going through her phone and purposely posting pics of her and guys. I am not looking to get back together with her, and yea I do miss her some, but I understand break ups are part of life and I'm not going to dwell on this one girl. I was just curious to know, from a girls perspective, is she doing this to make me jealous? If so, why, she broke up with me? I gave her a chance to try and talk, but she insists a break up is for the best, at least right now, so why would she care to make me jealous?

[flitzanu]

she isn't trying to make you jealous, she's moving on with her life.

 

she wanted a break so she CAN DO THESE THINGS.

 

so now, consider yourself broken up. being friends with her is the worst thing you could do at this point, because none of this is going to stop. your best bet is deleting and/or blocking her from fb so you don't have to see all of it. this is "day 1" and it's eating you up. imagine day 10.

[robtax]

Only thing I don't like about this site--- The smartass remarks.

[robtax]

Also, I wasn't aware that posting pics of guys that she specifically knows I don't like that were taken SEVERAL WEEKS AGO, was getting on with her life. Does she have a time machine or something??

[flitzanu]

Only thing I don't like about this site--- The smartass remarks.

 

if you don't believe me, then keep doing what you're doing if you think it's the right thing to do.

[HokeyReligions]

she isn't trying to make you jealous, she's moving on with her life.

 

she wanted a break so she CAN DO THESE THINGS.

 

so now, consider yourself broken up. being friends with her is the worst thing you could do at this point, because none of this is going to stop. your best bet is deleting and/or blocking her from fb so you don't have to see all of it. this is "day 1" and it's eating you up. imagine day 10.

Quite good advice. I agree. OP if you don't want opinions don't ask for them.

[aisuru]

She is getting under your skin. Doesn't matter why she is doing what she's doing. It could be to make you jealous. It could be that she's moving on with her life. It could be both or neither.

 

My best advice to you is to get off of FB for awhile. Live your life. You said you were thinking of breaking up with her as well. Give some thought to why if you have to. It's likely she had the same hesitations you did.

 

I'm guessing right now the sting is that she rejected you before you could reject her.

 

Lots of other fish in the sea. Find one that feels about you the way you feel about her.

[Chi townD]

Dude, she's pissed at you for whatever reason and is trying to get a rise out of you. Very immature stuff because she knows how you feel about a specific guy and she posts a pic of him and not taking your feelings into consideration. Like Flitz said, she's showing you that you don't matter to her now and she's going to do things whether you like it or not. Why? because she chose to have you out of her life. Therefore, you can't dictate who she can hang with or not.

 

Best bet. Block her on Facebook. This is a good way of testing a theory. Block her on Facebook and if she texts you asking why you are so shallow to block her and that was an immature asshat thing to do...blah....blah... She did those things to get a rise out of you. If you block her and she doesn't respond at all, then you know she doesn't care either way.

 

regardless, time to heal and move on.

[chinacat sunflower]

Deactivate your account. Don't even bother unfriending and/or blocking her because it's not necessary and it's immature. Once the dust settles, reactivate and hopefully by then you will be all like "whatev". Good luck

[hoping2heal]

She probably is trying to make you jealous but on the principal that she's a t**t, not because she high-schooly cares about you. As another poster said, she's trying to get a rise out of you. The motive seems to be you pissed in her wheaties and no one changed her diaper that day. I can only hope you two are teenagers and it isn't an actual adult woman behaving like this.

[NewPerspective93]

Don't bother with this. It seems as if she's playing a game here, so don't get suckered into it. She seemed a tad immature by pulling off stunts such as this.

 

For your sake block her or deactivate your account. It can work wonders.

 

Cheers.

[aloneinaz]

Don't deactivate your FB account because of this immature girl. Block her, her friends, anyone that could show pics of her when they comment. It's not immature to do this at all. It's wise. You're not FRIENDS anymore so why be her friend on Facebook?

 

You also need to disappear from her life. The relationship was lousy you said so take what you learned and apply it to your next relationship.

[Babolat]

I agree with all the responses on this, and the one guy was not being a smartass, just being honest with you.

 

Move on from this one, stop looking at her FB account and any other social media stuff.

[robtax]

I really don't get this girl anymore. We never had a bad relationship, we were always extremely happy, both of us, until the last couple of weeks, because of a reoccuring argument that honestly something that honestly wasn't too big of a deal, and was actually fairly petty, but at the time I kept bringing it up because I couldn't see that.

 

Any way I text her yesterday and asked when she would bring back my things and she said she would today. We texted for a little bit and she said something about the relationship. I asked if she was happy and she said that 'it's a bummer'. Any way, she said she thought we have a very unique and special thing, and that she cares about me very much, but she just needs to think because she doesn't know what to think at the moment. I offered to call and she said sure, but to wait for her to do chores. She ended up falling asleep (I know this because one of her friends commented on her facebook saying to text her back, and my ex responded this morning apologizing and saying she fell asleep).Because she fell asleep, this tells me talking wasn't too important too her (of course, she often fell asleep on me when we dated). Any way, I thought she would contact me today, but she hasn't so I don't know what to think. I have no idea when she plans to bring my stuff back. I don't know if she just doesn't want to talk to me or if she is thinking or what. I realize that saying you need to 'think' can be a nice way of getting someone off your back, but the only reason I'm confused is because she brought up the break up, not me. She initiated talking about it. It's not like our break up was rough, and our relationship was break for nearly all six months, we simply had a few rough past couple of weeks, and I feel like she got scared and jumped ship before we both seriously got hurt. She is sending such odd signals and I don't know what to think guys. I want to go no contact, but I do need my things back, if nothing else

[Chi townD]

Any way, she said she thought we have a very unique and special thing, and that she cares about me very much, but she just needs to think because she doesn't know what to think at the moment.

 

Yeah, it's called I get to walk all over you, and you get to sit and take it.

 

Dude, if all she has is a couple of CD's, DVD's and a pair of shoes, I would just write them off and start NC.

 

But, the way that you write, I know that you're going to have a bitch of a time with NC. I speculate that the first time she texts you, you'll be all over it like a flash! Why? Because you seem so unsure about everything right now.

 

So, the best thing you can do is the first time she texts when you go NC, STOP!!!! Take a deep breath and post in here. Don't respond to her! Post here instead. People will be here to talk you through this.

[eddyctv]

Get your stuff back and RUN AWAY...she is obviously playing games. Delete her off Facebook already!

[SpiderxMan]

Her motive for posting pictures she usually wouldn't? Idk. And I highly doubt anyone on this board knows. Quit beating yourself up, you let the relationship run its course. Stop looking at her fb is only going to confuse you. My best advice, WORK ON YOURSELF. Hit the gym or something. Anything to occupy the mind.

[robtax]

Well, this evening she texted me, and I know you guys said to go NC, but damn is it hard and I hate playing games, even if that is the best route to go. She apologized for falling asleep, and we talked and I told her my feelings for her. She said she needed to think long and hard. I asked her if I could call and talk and she called me and we talked about it, and she said she just needed to think, but that she still has feelings for me and cares for me. I asked if when she brings my stuff over tomorrow if we could talk, and she said we could. I am still not getting my hopes up, but maybe the fact she agreed to talk for a little bit in person tomorrow and allowed me to call is a step in the right direction. I haven't seen her since the break up, in fact, she broke up with my over the phone. Tomorrow marks a week since the last time I saw her, so maybe her seeing me will do something, I don't know. She said she is just scared that I am going to jump on her again when I don't like something she does, and I understand her hesitation. I'm hoping maybe a little talk in person tomorrow will be enough to help her see, and if she is still unsure, I am hoping she will at least allow me to take her on a date, and allow her to make her decision afterwards. I will try to amp up the charm tomorrow, and even though she can only stop by for a few minutes, if things go well, maybe a kiss? I don't know. Not gonna get my hopes up, but we will see. I'm just trying not to be too pushy because I don't want to annoy her. Oh, and she commented on my FB status earlier, joking around. So maybe that is good too? :ppp

Edited July 4, 2013 by robtax

[Simon Phoenix]

This will end badly.

[Maverick1983]

I think,and I'm not trying to be funny by the way, the question you should be asking yourself is why am I reading her posts and why am I still friends with her on Facebook? She is looking to boost her ego and your the guinea pig.She should have respected you when ye were together.You are setting yourself up to get hurt by letting her dictate what happens.If you really want to see how she feels delete her as a friend on Facebook and don't respond to her txt for awhile.If she wants to make a proper go of it she'll make the effort and you won't be torturing yourself looking at her FB page.

[robtax]

Well, the last couple of days have been very strange. Thursday evening she brought back my things, and I asked if we could talk. She said sure and we had about a ten minute talk. I didn't beg, I didn't plead, I simply stated how I felt and I told her that she knows where to find me if she decides she feels the same, assuming I am still interested at that point. She says she just needs time to think, and to give her a few days, but that she wasn't going to string me alone, and that she just needed a bit of time. She gave me a long hug, and allowed me to kiss her.

 

After she got home she texted me and we talked for a little bit. She ended up confronting me telling me "Oh, and I heard that you and so and so were planning to hang out soon, just a heads up, she is really weird and kinda fat, just friendly advice." I told her that I only was attracted to her at the moment. This made her really mad. She texted me and said "Oh, I'm the only one youre attracted to at the moment? That really hurts. If you're going to be attracted to other girls, don't try to get back together with me. I'm hurt right now, later." This confused me, and I decided not to worry about it simply because I will never understand women. She texted me later in the night and we talked and had a friendly convo. Before we broke up, we had planned to start up a little band together, as a couple. She asked if I still wanted to do the band, because she said she wanted to.

 

That was Thursday. Last night she texted me and we talked for a little bit. She asked what I was doing for the weekend and I told her going to a friends party. She said, "Fun! Maybe you'll meet some hotties! lol" I told her that I really wasn't interested in looking for girls at the moment besides her, but if this was her way of telling me to move on then I got it. She told me "No, I don't want you to move on to other girls, but I know you're going to. I know." Then she proceeded to tell me how she had seen my facebook status from earlier in the day that said something like "cant wait till tonight!" and that she knew it was about me hanging out with a girl (which it was not), and she told me not to give her bs. I told her I wasn't giving her bs, and asked if she honestly did not believe me. She said she thought I was lying and that she was stressed out so that she was going to go. She ended up texting me an hour later saying "I'm going to bed, but I didn't want us to go to sleep on bad terms." This made me happy, so we ended up talking and she said that she believed me until given reason to think otherwise. I told her I cared about her and she said "thanks, that makes me night:)" and when I asked if she cared about me she said "Of course I do."

 

So at this point I really don't know what to think. She seems to be getting jealous, which I guess is a good thing possibly, and the fact she didn't want to go to bed on bad terms is sweet. I really just don't know what to think at this point. I'm sure you guys will have some negative input to give lol

[flitzanu]

you're still talking to her.

 

are you noticing that it isn't getting you anywhere at all, and that she's still trying to string you along?

[Simon Phoenix]

That's a whole lot of words about nothing.

[robtax]

Flitzanu- Yea I'm still talking to her. I'm not making contact first, but if she calls or txts me, then I'm not gonna be a prude and ignore her. I'm not going to play some silly games. I wake up everyday and I'm not distraught or sad, I've accepted the break up. And at the end of the day, I enjoy talking to her, so if I can talk to her and be ok with the break up, then I'm going to do it.

[robtax]

Tisk tisk, such negative people here. You people need to cheer up some.