HarleyBrown2 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) I initially broke up with my ex gf because I didn't like the way she treated me with regards to the way she acted with others, she enjoyed getting attention from others and would flirt and encourage it, texting others and telling me when others would say they have feelings for her then she would claim they are just friends, which clearly left me feeling a bit paranoid/insecure and I expressed that it made me feel uncomfortable... We were together 14 months and I just had enough, I felt disrespected and like she didnt really care about me. She begged me to not be so rash and to think about it and that I was her world and she couldn't imagine being without me etc, 2/3 days later I regretted it and wanted her back, but this time she said she needed space and time to think... I said I can't wait in limbo so said I needed an answer, to which she said If you can't give me time I can't be with you! We had a holiday booked for 3 days time, we decided to go together and be amicable, I found it hard and again said I wanted to be with her, but she said no, although stated she would probably regret this in a month and who knows what will happen in the future. So I respected that and we got on with our holiday, although she was always affectionate, wanting to hugs, snuggle, kiss etc... The mixed signals messed with my head, I said it's all or nothing because i can't do this I'm constantly hoping for more or reading into little things with false hope. So we ended up going our separate ways when we got home and I went NC bcos having her in my life was too painful, as she'd want to meet up, go for dinner, watch DVDs at mine, walk the dog, most the things we did when we were together! After me stating I wanted NC she would still text saying she missed me, then just saying hello or a face etc, I haven't replied to any, I still love the girl and would love for things to work out but I just don't know what's gonna happen bcos I don't understand her behaviour!! Any help would be greatly appreciated! Edited July 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
SimonSerenade Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 You did the right thing when you broke up with her, no man should have to deal with all that bs especially if she wasn't willing to put an end to it the moment she knew you were in pain, things will never work out with a girl like that in the long haul, be grateful you got away while you could and reassess your life and what you want in a partner. You say you miss this that and all the other, those are all things you could do with your every day friend, you sure you don't just miss the sex?, for some reason that's one department I find hard to let go with my ex, sometime's I think it was the only thing that really kept us together as our personalities would clash a little too often, seriously, it was the best sex I ever had, I was blasting at the windows, up the walls, on the ceiling, we were crazy with passion, it's easy to let that kind of closeness cloud your judgement on how compatible you are with somebody. Don't reply to her man unless she gives you a solid reason, move on and find yourself a good girl who'll treat you right and won't put you through anything like this, you sound like a good guy who could do a lot better.
Sneaky Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Yeah, you did the right thing in my opinion. This person clearly had zero respect for you. Stay strong and keep up the NC.
Author HarleyBrown2 Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 Thank you for the advice guys, I think in the back of my mind I know it's for the best, just wish she would come back, say she screwed up then we could work at it... Never mind, head up and move on!
Author HarleyBrown2 Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 While we were together she would try and make me jealous, for example telling me that someone fancied her and they'd previously kissed, then expect me to be okay with then being 'friends', this led to bickering, which ultimately led to the break up, I initially broke up with her after having enough of the 'wanting the cake and eat it' games, I then said we can sort it out, to which she said it won't work we'll just go round in circles... we were together for 14 month! She said that she still wanted me in her life and didnt want to break but said it was for the best for both of us, telling me id be fine and move on in no time etc... I tried to be friends with her but it was too intense, she would still be affectionate with me and say things that would give me false hope, but she would also try and make me jealous, still after we had broken up, which I don't understand! Like she made a point of me finding out that she was going to a certain persons house, and this person is the one who caused us problems throughout our relationship... WHY does an ex who dumped you, try and make you jealous?! It's beyond me?!
Babolat Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Because she needs male attention, low self-esteem, insecure, etc...I would run from this one and never look back.
TaraMaiden Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Why are you posting over and over again? Really, you're succumbing to desperation now.... The why and wherefore of what your ex- is doing is completely irrelevant. It's not for you to know why she's doing what she's doing - because you can never work out what someone else's motives are. What you need to focus on, is how to best start moving on and getting over her - and the way to do that, is to read the No Contact Guide in my signature - and stick to it, like a barnacle. 2
Author HarleyBrown2 Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 Thanks Tara, your brutal honesty was needed... It's hard to just take it for what it is, when not so long ago she was my everything, so naturally to put an end I it i need to understand it, but maybe you're right, ill never know cos the truth is she probably doesn't even know! I appreciate your honesty, it was what I needed!
fibertype Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I couldn't help but post as well since you remind me of my current boyfriend when he was with his exgirlfriend of 4 years. I agree with the other posts addressed to you especially that she's doing it for male attention. When my boyfriend was with his ex she always needed attention all the way to the end. She has done much worse stuff to him for attention than what your ex is doing to you. If it's really like this "things will never work out with a girl like that in the long haul". Your ex does not respect you, she didn't back down from grabbing others' attention and bragging about it and she is still treating you the way she was when you guys were dating. We can tell you're not over her and the advice people here are giving to you is not registered in your head yet. She's teasing you. You can be friends just don't get jealous because it's not worth getting upset over someone that is over you. You can go for the NC that's suggested, that's the fastest way to realize you don't need her. By the way my boyfriend was 18 when he met his exgirlfriend at 16 if that helps relate to you at all.
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