EC Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Ok yeah so I feel a lil bit guilty... Yesterday my friend and I were talking on the phone...Hes an old friend who likes me though, we kissed once. but nothing came out of it because I didn't want anything to and I just remained friends w/ him. Last night we were talking and he brought up the kiss and we laughed or w/e and I put a pizza in the oven to bake. Well talking to him I forgot about it and it burned and I was like thats so messed up you made me burn my pizza.. So he says hold on and clicks over to the other line and then clicks back and he had done three way with Pizza Hut. Now the Pizza Hut lady was already on the line and was asking for my address..I kept saying no you dont need to but he was like "Babe tell her your address" so i told her my address and then hes like what size I was like I dont know small? so he orders a medium w/ pepperoni and cheese sticks and a two liter coke.lol! So I told him again he didnt need to and even offered to call back and cancel the order but he insisted and said he would be offended. So I accepted the pizza. The things is I know this guy likes me and I know hes just doing it to win me over. He knows I have a bf and that I'm in love but he doesn't care. So i felt guilty and come 9:00 O'clock when its time to call my bf He picks up and i'm like hey and he tell me (surprise surprise) "Can I call you back I'm playing poker" (sigh) He eventually called back but I was sleeping and didn't pick up and then my "friend" texted me with fun talking to you goodnight sweet dreams. I feel guilty though for even talking to him and accepting the pizza. I know I know It's just a pizza..but still..but then again I liked the attention and felt good when I called my bf and he was playing poker. My friend wants to hang out next weekend but I will be in Orlando but the weekend after that he said he would like to hang out..I kinda want to..not because I like him (nothing there) but because I like the attention that I can't get since my bf is far away.. Am I horrible for this?
bluechocolate Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Forget about the pizza - it was a nice gesture. However, if you know this guy likes you in a romantic way hanging out with him isn't a smart thing to do. You're both after different things & he'll end up getting hurt. If you really want to see him as a friend you should include him in things where other people are around, preferably including your boyfriend.
Stone Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 No your not horrible, he sounds like a sweet guy, when you see him next weekend or when ever you plan to buy him lunch so your even with the pizza ( if it makes you feel better) Don't feel guilty you can have friends. Even if he has "alteror motives" stand your ground that you are in "love" and try to continue the friendship, I have wonderful guy friends that I wouldn't trade in for anything... most of them tried to date me at one time, but it didn't work out I still value their friendship. you should to
tiki Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Wouldn't your boyfriend had done the same? I mean, seriously? Free pizza? Good conversation? No, you aren't horrible for this. You're still young. And you have options and probably always will. Yes, you are in a commited relationship, but no, you're not STUCK to this one guy. I do think you'd atleast owe it to current b/f to dump him if you became interested in teh other fella. But are you even interested? Choices, choices. It's a good thing you have choices. And if you never had choices, would you always stick with your current b/f? Some things come along that are better....some worse. It's a toss up. And how you develop feelings for the guy will play an important factor. Will you continue to speak to the guy friend? I probably would. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone cheating. Just let your b/f know if you become attracted to this "friend". But if you seriously feel bad, tell your b/f. But only if you want to. Maybe he'll step up to the plate. Doesn't the squeaky wheel gets the grease? But just for the record. What your friend did was sweeeeeeeeeet. It was an attentive action.
Author EC Posted October 19, 2004 Author Posted October 19, 2004 Yeah it completely took me by surprise...what he did lol it was cute;) The thing is my friend has a lot of money lol and he's looking for that good girl to settle down with a while and he wants one that doesn't look at him for just money or material things. I feel bad because I know he likes me but I could never give him what he wants at all and yet We still talk and I still want to hang out with him. But you guys are right..I can have friends!! So what if we kissed in the past and he likes me lol Who knows what kind of friends my bf has up there? lol I just felt really bad..I think I am cursed..I can't cheat or "pimp" or w/e I'm such a sap. I see all these girls that are like get that money, pimp them guys, use them all, lol and I can't. I remember trying to juggle three guys at once one time and OMG I was in hell. LOL..it wasn't my thing. But yeah thans guys I knew you would make me feel better. I don't see this guy in "that" way and don't think i will but I will accept a free pizza lol and a little TLC that I'm missing out on. I'm scared he will get hurt though ..my ..friend...because i have told him exactly how things are and the status of our friendship and that we could never have anything but u know how that goes.. Its like the more u tell someone they can't have it the more they want it....
shortbus74 Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 You are not bad! There is nothing wrong with being a girl who is a Friend........... Just let the boyfriend know that you do have a boy who is a Friend..... Be honest about the friendship....
bluechocolate Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd I'm scared he will get hurt though ..my ..friend...because i have told him exactly how things are and the status of our friendship and that we could never have anything but u know how that goes.. Its like the more u tell someone they can't have it the more they want it.... That is why I said you should include him in activities that involve other people. He may tell you that he understands you're involved & he may tell you that he understands that you are not interested in him romantically. But I'm willing to bet that if the two of you spend time together alone & have a good time he'll be encouraged that it is possible that something more can come from your friendship. Sure you can have friends of the opposite sex, but when you know that "this" particular friend is interested in something more & you're not then I think you have to tread a bit more carefully.
Papillon Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Nothing wrong with liking attention. That's why we have boyfriends and girlfriends. It's natural to feel flattered. Fact that you feel guilty is a good sign. Don't sweat it. (Literally)
Stone Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Well EC he sounds like a real catch I don't know the story with you and your b/f how long is he away? how long have you been togeather? How often do you see eachother? and I am SURE your b/f has friends to I would be the "pizza guy's "friend. ( sorry to call him that but knowing no names it's hard to set them apart) and if something comes of it maby he's the one. if not you have a really nice friend.
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 I always wondered how on earth people were able to maintain long distance relationships. I imagine the lack of "real time" you get to spend together would be an incredible hurdle when you're trying to build emotional intimacy. Particularly if you’re the kind of person who requires a lot of attention and emotional stroking from your partner. Why not just give your boyfriend permission to entertain and date other females as well? This way, you could foster friendships with other guys who are romantically interested in you without all the guilt trips and hang-ups? Sure---he might be hurt, but isn't it better to hurt someone's feelings while being honest rather than totally annihilating and disrespecting them by betraying their trust? In the end, I think how you handle this will say far MORE about your integrity as a 'person' than it does about your ability to sustain committed relationships. If you're feeling guilty about it…than there's a good reason. Then again, there's that question we always ask over and over again on this forum: "How would you feel if you discovered your boyfriend was doing the same thing to you?" My friend wants to hang out next weekend but I will be in Orlando but the weekend after that he said he would like to hang out..I kinda want to..not because I like him (nothing there) but because I like the attention that I can't get since my bf is far away.. "I need attention" is not only a misguided excuse to string two people along in a relationship, but it's also a bad reason to start up a friendship with someone who you already admit you clearly don't like. In the end, you may end up with TWO men who have less than positive things to say about you. If you don't like the relationship seat you're in, then perhaps it would just be better to vacate now and allow another girl who "wants" to be there to fill that spot? At least it will give you some alone time to finally sort out your feelings and decide whether a committed relationship is really something you want for yourself right now.
Papillon Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather Well EC he sounds like a real catch I don't know the story with you and your b/f how long is he away? how long have you been togeather? How often do you see eachother? and I am SURE your b/f has friends to I would be the "pizza guy's "friend. ( sorry to call him that but knowing no names it's hard to set them apart) and if something comes of it maby he's the one. if not you have a really nice friend. Don't tempt the Wizard, you silly hobbit!
Author EC Posted October 19, 2004 Author Posted October 19, 2004 Yeah dont tempt me lol.... Nah I would never cheat on my bf and he really hasn't given me reason to and I dont believe in cheating if I was ever tempted I would analyze everything and then make my decision to leave or stay but I would not cheat. But anyways yeah this pizza guy is a great friend and I know I can hang out with him without getting attachted besides im in love.. lol I will just talk to him and say if you can hang out knowing nothing will come out of it and expect nothing in return then ok if not let me know now u know? I would hate to lose such a cool friend... Man i love my bf i can't believe I felt guilty over pizza the more I read it the more i laugh at myself..lol
Miss Perfection Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 ---"But anyways yeah this pizza guy is a great friend and I know I can hang out with him without getting attachted besides im in love.. lol "--- Did you even think about this guy's feelings? He likes you REMEMBER? duh? COME ON THINK!! /sarcasm on But I guess you can string him along because you love the attention and the ego stroking he gives you. Right? Its okay because YOU are having a blast. /sarcasm off Stop being so selfish! Guys seriously...Dont feed this troll. I bet you she will be with the "pizza friend" in the near future. I can smell an attention whore.
Author EC Posted October 20, 2004 Author Posted October 20, 2004 Whoa.. /sacasm on/Thank you for your post you really opened my eyes...I've realized I'm an attention whore that looks like a troll thank you soo much:)/sarcasm off/ Listen You don't know the whole story and I can tell by your name your full of sh*t! I'm not stringing him along if I already told him how I felt..he knows I'm in love and he has hung out with my bf and I. If he chooses to still hang around and give me attention then thats his problem not mine.. I think he is a great friend..and if wanting to keep a great friend around makes me an "attention whore" the by all means everyone on LS: I Am an Attention Whore! I love my bf and will not be with the Pizza guy not now, not later, not never. And I have made that clear.. But honestly thanx again for your post. It made me chuckle.
tiki Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Dearest EC (AKA Attention Whore): Dude, it was just a pizza. I'da let him buy it for me too. Anyone wanna send ME a pizza? You're still young and I think you'd only be smart to keep options open, especially since your LDR poker-playing, hot sex givin hunk of a man is so far away. What gives? In the end, you will choose who you want. Thank your lucky stars you get attention. I think it's great. There's nothing wrong with it. You Attention Whore. But you are NOT a troll. I think EC's got a new nick name.
Author EC Posted October 20, 2004 Author Posted October 20, 2004 LOl Thaks TIKI!! EC= Conflicted Attention Whore lol It sounds like a disorder..
Stone Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I don't see why she can't just have a friend that's nice... so he bought her a pizza because she burnt hers... it was a nice justure, I am sure he is not epecting a pice of ass for the pizza JEZZE! How do you think he would feel if she just blew him off? his feelings would probably be hurt then. He's just a friend, and sounds like a great guy, I am sure he doesn't have a problem getting a girlfirend. EC Don't ditch a good friend. Your NOT an attention whore.... ( that's a funny word )
tiki Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 I'd rather be an attention whore than an ass clown any day.
Stone Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 lol or she could be a pizza whore... ( kidding)
Author EC Posted October 20, 2004 Author Posted October 20, 2004 A$$ Clown LMAO I forgot about that one...lol
tiki Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Originally posted by stoneheather pizza whore OMG that's it. EC the pizza whore. ....you just use 'em for their pizza.
Author EC Posted October 20, 2004 Author Posted October 20, 2004 OMG LMAO "Watchout guys I'll pimp you untill I get that pepperroni stuffed crust then I'm out and Ill break your heart.." "I'm all about that dough..pizza dough" lol Ok I'm done...
tiki Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 OMG you make me laugh. I needed a laugh, thanks. Now get back to work. You've got pizzas to earn, bitch. jk
savethedrama4allama Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 This is the funniest thing I've ever read. If you're an attention whore for accepting an unsolicited pizza from a friend, then I shudder to think what I'd be called... See, the problem is that if you're a pretty girl, most of your guy friends are going to have a slight crush on you. If they like your personality and you're hot, how could they not? Perhaps Miss Perfection does not have this problem.
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Ladies! Ladies! I don't think this thread is really about Pizza Boys and Pepperonis at all. I think it was a convenient diversion to cast a clever smoke screen over the REAL issue at hand here. And I'll gladly accept the pie in the face if you disagree…just make sure you double the cheese on that before you toss it my way. I think it's fine and good for EC to encourage this friendship (free pizzas and all) but ONLY if she's able to be upfront about it and keep everything out in the open. Just like StoneHeather did with her relationship. As long as EC's boyfriend is aware of the situation and agrees it's "okay" then no harm done. However, I also think he should be filled in on the WHOLE story…including the part about where they kissed once and that "dough boy" still has a crush on his girl. If EC is uncomfortable with filling her boyfriend in on ALL the facts, then she already knows darn well what she's doing and any consequences resulting from keeping such secrets will be her's alone to deal with. It will be more difficult for her to explain the cover-up later (if and when he finds out) and make it sound the least bit plausible. I'm also left to wonder how EC would feel if her boyfriend called to say there was a young lady attending his poker games who was giving him the attention he wasn't getting from her. Would EC be "okay" with her boyfriend hanging out with this girl? --- Particularly if she knew in advance that he had once kissed her, and that this girl (although willing to settle for a friendship) really wanted more? I can hear it now: "Don't worry, Baby. I still love you. I'll make sure she knows I have a girlfriend in another state. I just need the attention right now, and she's such a sweet girl. And D*MN!...She sure knows how to toss a good salad…errrrr…I mean pizza!" Sorry for the interruption. I suppose I should duck out now and let you gals get back to your food fight!
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