Alia_alia Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Bf introduced me to his parents, who were a bit in a shock (they thought he was dating his bff, since they kind of know her). Shortly after we went on vacation together. It was amazing. Such an adventure. After the 10 day vacation, he went to see his grandparents to Cali. Stayed there fore 4 days. On the last night we were facebook chatting and I felt like something was off. He told me how his parents really liked his bff and thought he was dating her. He reassured me that the only thing he wanted was me and then when I said I'm going to bed, he simply didn't answer. Minutes after he disabled his facebook... which I found weird. I shot him a txt asking what happened and he didn't answer... The next morning he said he thought I had gone off to bed... The day he came back, he got me worried since we didn't talk at all til 2 am, when he said he just got back. And even then he was sending short answer txts. Today no word of him... What's happening? Reason for concern? I swear we had the best time ever on our vacation..... We seemed so in love...
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 A little background might be necessary. I can't really be sure how to answer without knowing a few other things: -How long have you been dating? -How often do you see each other? -Do you live together, or spend a great deal of time going back and forth from your place to his? -Have you seen him since he came back, or did you only talk over the phone? From the information you've given, something does seem off. If he decided to disable his FB, he should have given you a straight answer when you asked him about it-instead of dodging your question to ask one of his own. When I started with my now Husband, his mom brought up past girlfriends (usually not in favour of them) and girls he had somewhat grown up with being pretty (saying he'd kick himself for not dating them, now). I did find things of that nature more than a little irritating, but after awhile, it stopped, and I stopped letting it get to me. (The worst was when both of his parents openly admitted I wouldn't have been their first choice for him).
Author Alia_alia Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Been together for half a year. But it's been very intense. We're still mid twenties. We see each other at least 2-3x a week. I sleep over at his ~ twice a week He came back yesterday. Haven't seen him nor talked to him. Just the short texts we sent back and forth. I got worried since he wasn't answering, but he said he got back at 2am
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 His short texts might just be due to fatigue (travelling can really take it out of a person, which I'm sure you noticed on your vacation with him). He could also be feeling annoyed by your insecure behaviour; not saying your behaviour is entirely unjustified, but sometimes, you just need to let them breathe. It does seem a bit strange, though. The first chance you get, talk to him in person about this. The fact that he skirted around answering you over the FB deactivation is sort of a red flag, to me.
Ami1uwant Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I agree.... his short texts isnt something to do with you...but if he went to see his grandparents he could be worried about something with them. Its also possible he has gotten some flack back from family on disaproving you. This is where you need to step up---if this relationship is as you say----and talk to him about your concerns and ask him whats the matter/whats going on/whats on your mind/whats bothering you.
veggirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Are you sure he disabled fb and didn't just block you? Did he ever date or TRY to date this "bff"? Does he bring you around his bff? Why does his bff know his fam so well? How long have they been bff? Why didn't his fam know about you in SIX months? Like why would they think he's DATING his "bff"? Shadyyyyyyy
Phantom888 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 No.... not just fatigue or busy. He is having internal conflicts within himself. I went through the EXACT same thing when I was sleeping with another girl while my GF thought I was busy working. I felt really guilty, so I tried to reduce communication with GF, until things would cool down. I think men try to find ways to get out of relationships, but always end up going the wrong way. I seriously think your man is dating someone else. Seems too familiar.
pcplod Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Your paranoia, valid or not, is measured in hours. If you are going to get paranoid like this at least give it a half-decent chance to develop and mature. If his odd behaviour actually has a firm basis then getting yourself worked up into a state of acute anxiety will do absolutely nothing to change it. Even on a negative basis, you will find out what you need to know sooner rather than later. You don't need to rush to it. It will find you. Patience, nerves, calmness, some appropriate diffidence. If it's over, it's over, but it will not be the end of life as you know it. Not ever.
Author Alia_alia Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Are you sure he disabled fb and didn't just block you? Did he ever date or TRY to date this "bff"? Does he bring you around his bff? Why does his bff know his fam so well? How long have they been bff? Why didn't his fam know about you in SIX months? Like why would they think he's DATING his "bff"? Shadyyyyyyy Not sure, but why would he block me. Again, we were at the best of our relationship.. And otherwise it has been amazing. He never tried to date his bff, though we've agreed that she was into him at some point. Both families know each other. Our families are very conservative, hence why none of our parents knew about "us". Today I called him. He didn't rush to plan anything, but at the end agreed to meet up. Seemed still indifferent/tired.
veggirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Was he surprised his family thought he was dating his bff? your families are both too conservative to hear "I am dating someone" ? then how did you get away with a 10 day vaca? Your follow up makes it sound like you are fine with the bff thing...are you? The fact that his family "randomly" thinks he's dating her is super suspect. how often does he see his bff? are you invited and does she know all about you?
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