USMCHokie Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Simple question... Regardless of whether you're married, in a serious relationship, casually dating, or completely single, how do you deal with seeing good looking people day-to-day, whether it's in real life, in popular media, porn, etc.? How does it affect your relationship, if it all, and how do you deal with it? Or how did you deal with it?
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I work regularly with good looking people, so for me good looks has kind of lost its appeal. I'll still get with attractive women, but I'm never blinded by beauty. 1
tbf Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It's nothing to deal with. More power to better looking people. 7
MrCastle Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I used to be intimidated. But no longer. When I am in class, I will seek out the woman I find most attractive and try to get convo going immediately. Not spend weeks trying to craft the perfect moment. I also do this when my friends bring their acquaintances to bars or parties or whatever. I will get something going with the female I find the most attractive. It has become such that I feel most comfortable in situations with highly attractive women. More so than any other situation. I like the ego boost it gives me when we talk and I can tell there is a level of interest on both our parts, or if not outright sexual attraction, the fact that I can make her laugh and she sees me as a fun guy. Looks don't scare me. 2
sweetjasmine Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It's nothing to deal with. More power to better looking people. Same here. It's never an issue. I might think, "Oh, that guy is handsome/cute/hot/gorgeous/whatever," but that's really the extent of it. A passing thought. It doesn't affect my relationship at all. 8
Author USMCHokie Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 It's nothing to deal with. More power to better looking people. Person X on TV, at the store, at work, at the bar, amongst your friends, etc. is better looking than your significant other. How does seeing better looking people affect your relationship, if at all? I presume that this may have more of an effect on men than women, but I merely speculate.
ThaWholigan Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Same way I dealt with anyone really - my anxiety in social situations were not limited to beautiful people . Saying that, how I deal with it now varies, depending on whether I'm interested in them or not. In popular media/porn?? Curiosity mostly, then it fades after a while. 1
sweetjasmine Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Person X on TV, at the store, at work, at the bar, amongst your friends, etc. is better looking than your significant other. How does seeing better looking people affect your relationship, if at all? I presume that this may have more of an effect on men than women, but I merely speculate. So you're asking whether seeing more attractive people makes you question whether you settled? Not at all. But I was never one of those "OMG must have the hottest guy ever!!!" types to begin with. I see other men who are more attractive than my H, but I'm not more attracted to them, and seeing them doesn't make me feel any less attraction to my H. Eye candy's kind of boring and overrated, IMO. Doesn't compare to the kind of attraction that exists in my relationship. 9
youngnlove89 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Simple question... Regardless of whether you're married, in a serious relationship, casually dating, or completely single, how do you deal with seeing good looking people day-to-day, whether it's in real life, in popular media, porn, etc.? How does it affect your relationship, if it all, and how do you deal with it? Or how did you deal with it? Yesterday my AC broke in my apartments and I called maintenance right away because it's 117 outside (miserable). Maintenance came over right away and in walks this 6' hunk-a-hoo in his late 20's with ripped arms, nice firm butt and just an over all attractive man. (bow chicka wow wow) And here I stand, in gym shorts, a big shirt and my hair up on the top of my head and sweaty. Go figure. I find celebs attractive (Ryan Gosling, Paul Walker, Channing Tatum), I find strangers attractive, I even find some of you on here attractive (just by the way you talk). But point is, it doesn't make me love my BF any less or find him any less attractive. I pick my bf over any other hunk every day, every time. Because he is my best friend, my lover, my partner in crime, and I don't want anyone else. But just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu! 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Person X on TV, at the store, at work, at the bar, amongst your friends, etc. is better looking than your significant other. How does seeing better looking people affect your relationship, if at all? If I give it any consideration at all, it's probably going to be along the lines of "somebody, somewhere, is sick and tired of their sh*t." 2
Author USMCHokie Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 So you're asking whether seeing more attractive people makes you question whether you settled? This is one way it can affect you. I'm sure there are others.
PJKino Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 When i see a good looking dude i get a little jealous an think how easy it is for him to attract women and at least get his foot in the door where guys like me have to jump through hoops and numerous rejections without even a phone number When i see a hot women i first get a little aorused then pissed that i could never get her Im a mess
Ruby Slippers Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I think my boyfriend is gorgeous, so I get plenty of pleasant visual input with him. When I was dating guys not quite as handsome in the past, I still never felt I was missing out on anything. Good looks alone don't do much to win me over. And when I'm committed to a man, I'm not considering anybody as a new romantic prospect, so I don't fixate on how good-looking anybody else is. 6
PJKino Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 What about when dealing with a great looking person in your social circle whom you see alot and begin to connect with and fall for their personality who might be alot better looknig then your so? That's when things could possibly get dangerous for people rather then seeing a hot stranger youll never see again. 1
tbf Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Person X on TV, at the store, at work, at the bar, amongst your friends, etc. is better looking than your significant other. How does seeing better looking people affect your relationship, if at all? I presume that this may have more of an effect on men than women, but I merely speculate.There's no impact on my relationship or how I view any SO. Aesthetics don't affect me like that. As an example, Ryan Gosling. Pretty but shallow, where there's an underlying weakness in him. If it were to ever to impact on my marriage, I'd already have been questioning what went wrong with our relationship for a long time prior. 5
youngnlove89 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 What about when dealing with a great looking person in your social circle whom you see alot and begin to connect with and fall for their personality who might be alot better looknig then your so? That's when things could possibly get dangerous for people rather then seeing a hot stranger youll never see again. It's only dangerous for those that don't have morals. And I don't want to be with a guy who doesn't have morals. If my bf wants to be with someone else, go. I'm not stopping him and I'm for sure as heck not going to compete with another woman. If he wants to leave, hope the door doesn't kick him in the butt on the way out. I know my bf finds other girls attractive. No biggie. It used to bug me, but it doesn't anymore. Why? Because I find other guys attractive. But we are both smart enough to not act on it because we love each other and trust each other. We know we have the option to leave whenever we want, but we choose not too.
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I've never seen anyone better looking than me. First time for everything. 1
iris219 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Person X on TV, at the store, at work, at the bar, amongst your friends, etc. is better looking than your significant other. How does seeing better looking people affect your relationship, if at all? I presume that this may have more of an effect on men than women, but I merely speculate. My bf claims that I'm always the hottest woman in the room. While clearly that's not the case, I believe that he does indeed see me as the hottest because I feel the same way about him. When I am in love and emotionally connected to someone, I don't "see" better looking people, meaning I don't see anyone I'm more attracted to. I find I rarely even notice other men, but if I happen to, an objectively better looking person makes me I realize how much I love my bf and want to be with him because I can't imagine being more attracted to anyone. In that way, the effect it has on our relationship is positive. 2
LittleTiger Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 My guy and I are both gorgeous! He couldn't do better than me and vice versa! (This is effectively the same answer as iris219 ) 2
KungFuJoe Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Well...obviously I'm biased, but no woman is more attractive than my wife. Now, with my first gf, I didn't think she was all that attractive...in a conventional sense. She was very cute and sweet, though and I was very into her in the beginning (before I found out who she really was and the relationship turned to crap). And yes, I did feel that jealous "pang" when there would be a girl that entered our "circle" that was more attractive or more "exciting". But, it wasn't really anything I had to deal with. When things were good between us, I didn't feel like cheating or wanting to be with anyone else...even when I had very open opportunities to. I was happy with who I was with. But, as the relationship started to degrade (and did so rapidly), I did find myself often wondering what it would be like with someone else. Seeing friends with attractive gfs who were also cool and fun...yeah...I would get pretty jealous. Especially if I thought *I* was better looking than the guy. I thought I was "underachieving". But, I was young back then (18-21) and I was in a seriously HORRIBLE relationship. 1
Author USMCHokie Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Same way I dealt with anyone really - my anxiety in social situations were not limited to beautiful people . Saying that, how I deal with it now varies, depending on whether I'm interested in them or not. In popular media/porn?? Curiosity mostly, then it fades after a while. But how might it affect how you deal with others...i.e., not them...?
Ruby Slippers Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I find I rarely even notice other men... Same here. When I'm in love, other men might as well be women, basically. My radar for other men just shuts off. 2
Author USMCHokie Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Well...obviously I'm biased, but no woman is more attractive than my wife. Now, with my first gf, I didn't think she was all that attractive...in a conventional sense. She was very cute and sweet, though and I was very into her in the beginning (before I found out who she really was and the relationship turned to crap). And yes, I did feel that jealous "pang" when there would be a girl that entered our "circle" that was more attractive or more "exciting". But, it wasn't really anything I had to deal with. When things were good between us, I didn't feel like cheating or wanting to be with anyone else...even when I had very open opportunities to. I was happy with who I was with. But, as the relationship started to degrade (and did so rapidly), I did find myself often wondering what it would be like with someone else. Seeing friends with attractive gfs who were also cool and fun...yeah...I would get pretty jealous. Especially if I thought *I* was better looking than the guy. I thought I was "underachieving". But, I was young back then (18-21) and I was in a seriously HORRIBLE relationship. So for you, it was more an effect of a bad relationship...? Here's a spin off question, if you did feel those jealous "pangs" from seeing a more attractive women, did you ever feel the inclination to change your girlfriend at the time, i.e., "make" her more attractive...? Not necessarily cheat or leave her, but make her more of what you were jealous, for lack of a better term, of?
EasyHeart Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I don't really consider people on TV and in movies to be real. They're in the same category and Iron Man's suit or Darth Vader's lightsaber: cool to think about but they're never going to be part of my life. (Unless my new design works, dammit!) As far as seeing attractive people in real life, I don't think about it all that much. No more than noticing tall people or redheads or someone in a nice outfit; it's just part of my environment. Seeing really attractive women can be a problem because I'm an unabashed lecher. But my GF and I have been together long enough that she understands that I can't turn off my radar, so she's okay with it so long as I just look and don't talk to them. (And don't drool too much). 1
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