Eternal Sunshine Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I don't think it's weird. I check up on anything out of curiosity or boredom. Having said that, OP you sound obsessive, controlling and insecure. You are the type of guy that would drive me insane and not in a good way. You shouldn't be checking her FB in the first place. She is your gf, not your possession. You can't get inside her mind and read her every single thought. You shouldn't want to. This kind of creeps me out. 1
anna121 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Like I said, different boundaries for different people. My gf hates it if I keep a girl who likes me (or I've made out at some point in my life) as a friend... and I don't do it, so I just expect the same courtesy. And the whole thing I don't like is that my girl is investing on these people more than they are, which I find as such a turn off... Just like I could care less if my gf friendzoned a guy and the guy kept giving her attention but she reciprocated less, but it would bother me if my girl more attention to a guy than he would to her. Makes sense or am I crazy? If the two of you have an agreement that exes are off limits, then her behaviour is sketchy. I still don't think that a FB search necessarily means "investment" in the way that you are talking about. But, the extra info helps to understand where you're coming from.
Coup La-La Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 It seems to me she's might be looking for an exit strategy. It's one thing to be curious about how your ex is doing, but for this Player guy to keep coming up in her searches shows that she may be doing the typical pre-breakup ritual that many girls engage in "find the next boyfriend first" It's the same principle as getting a new job before quitting your old one, the difference being that the old employer isn't hurt by the decision to leave. I suggest you exit the relationship YESTERDAY!!!! If you get dumped and then she starts going out with someone else 2 days later it will hurt 100x more than if YOU initiate the breakup. 1
Star Gazer Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Where is one's "search history" on Facebook? I understand in the browser, but where is it on Facebook?
Million.to.1 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Well thats what the 56 girls I've slept with have said, when I invited them over.... Yea sure, I'll go there to hang out. Not like anything's gonna happen. You are in college.... and have slept with 56 girls already??!!?!! 1
Woggle Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 The fact that she was flirting with this player guy behind your back is the biggest red flag of all. 1
RogerWallace111 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 (edited) Acknowledge the several female responses saying that yes, they check out ex's and other guys' facebooks, but no, they're not necessarily interested in them. Only curious. I think girls have more of a tendency to do this than guys, and that we typically just can't fully relate. Forgive my sterotyping but generally, girls like to get the scoop, gossip and talk. They throw little dinner parties. They like information on others. They talk to their friends, mom, hairdresser, barista, classmates... Often about people. Probably a left over tendency from their historically being forced into domestic roles without many outside interests. I do feel for you though, man. It'd be very difficult to be completely unphased in your situation. There's no way anyone of any gender would be pleased to see that sort of thing. Just aim to be accepting of it, and know that it's most likely not indicative of sh*t. The love she shows you is your best gauge of where you stand as far as importance to her. And it sounds like that's all splendid. If you have to talk to her about it, be very tactful. And definitely opt for calm conversation over silent, passive-agressive resentment, or a drunken call-out. Edited July 3, 2013 by RogerWallace111 1
BeholdtheMan Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Some people think it's weird/inappropriate, others think it's perfectly fine...why am I not shocked here? Checking up on exes, Facebook stalking etc., this sort of behaviour falls into a grey area. It's hard to say whether it's definitely unacceptable or definitely acceptable. The opinions of online strangers as to whether they'd be OK with it should have little bearing on your opinion. Where do you stand? Are you OK with her Facebook shenanigans? If it's something you can't accept, then it adds to whatever incompatibility exists between the two of you. If that's the case, you have two choices...either let it go or put your foot down. What will it be?
Author Iama Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 You are in college.... and have slept with 56 girls already??!!?!! End of college, but yes. 1
Author Iama Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 Then why do you care about this notch on your belt so much? No idea. I hate how I've become so controlling. And then I try to control my controlling behavior. It's a vicious cycle... 1
FrustratedGuy91 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 End of college, but yes. Dude, you should be giving advice to us. Not the other way around...
Million.to.1 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 I would just like to say that that is ALOT of woman, especially for someone your age. 56! Sheesh. And you've been keeping count for show off occasions such as this. I would go as far as calling you a manslut, and i'm certainly no prude. With that in mind, you girlfriend probably feels fairly insecure, and is indeed, keeping her options open, in case you take off. Generally speaking, men who have very high numbers like this, get bored easily within relationships and end up dating again soon after a break-up. She is protecting herself... and rightly so. But just because she checks up on people on FB, doesn't mean she is going to do anything. Back off, and relax about it. You are being controlling and paranoid.
Million.to.1 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Dude, you should be giving advice to us. Not the other way around... Says "Frustrated guy" ... the only people who are impressed by high numbers, are people with a very low or non-existant numbers themselves, who just want SOMETHING!
FrustratedGuy91 Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Says "Frustrated guy" ... the only people who are impressed by high numbers, are people with a very low or non-existant numbers themselves, who just want SOMETHING! That is the most accurate description I've read of myself so far hahaha
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