ShiningMoon Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Alright, so I've met this guy a few months ago. We had a first date, then he asked me out for a second date. I agreed but he kept rescheduling over and over again. He'd initiate and reschedule. He did that like 4 times. At some point, I had enough and stopped talking to him for like a month. A few days ago, I caved in a decided to send him a text to see how he was doing (to get proper closure and move on). He responded saying "Long time no talk! bla bla". I then cut conversation and told him to have a nice summer. However, at the end of his "I have a nice summer" text, he brought up the possibility of meeting up again by saying "If you feel like making plans we actually keep, give me a call, ha ;)" I thought this last bit was off/bizarre because I didn't think he'd reiterate this date situation (after all, he rescheduled many times-therefore leading me to believe he wasn't interested, I just texted him to make sure). Besides, he had never told me to call him before and never did he called me, he always texted me. Quite strange that he suddenly wants me to call. What should I do? Move on or wait a few weeks and ask him to go out? Do you think he might slightly be interested "thanks" to my 4 weeks disappearance? Why is he putting this plans burden on me? Thank you,
soccerrprp Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Move on. He had the opp to contact you over the month you had no contact. If he was really that interested, he would have contacted YOU. No? And, he did not ask you directly for a date. He left it open to you. To me that says, if you do, swell, if you don't, that's fine too...not too convincing of interest wouldn't you say? But, it's clear that you are interested in him. So, the ball is in your court.
Leegh Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I would ask him out, so you and he can either go out or so you can get closure. Did he say why he had to reschedule? Was it work related? Is there a possibility he has a girlfriend/wife and he couldn't at the last minute get the time away because of her? Maybe he is married, and doesn't know how to tell you, and maybe he feels it may be a deal-breaker for you.
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) I would ask him out, so you and he can either go out or so you can get closure. Did he say why he had to reschedule? Was it work related? Is there a possibility he has a girlfriend/wife and he couldn't at the last minute get the time away because of her? Maybe he is married, and doesn't know how to tell you, and maybe he feels it may be a deal-breaker for you. He's not married but I'm suspecting he is already dating someone. He cancelled: - Once because he made other "important" plans with his friends - A second/third time because he was offered last minute work - And a fourth time due to a misunderstanding we had (I sent him a text the night before to confirm. He supposedly responded to choose and confirm our date venue and I never received it. He didn't realize until I texted him to tell him I made other plans). Not sure what to think. I have no idea if he contacted me during the 4 week because I lost my phone after week 1. Edited July 2, 2013 by ShiningMoon
Drseussgrrl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Why do you need closure after one date with a guy who has flaked out on you multiple times? 2
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Why do you need closure after one date with a guy who has flaked out on you multiple times? Because we were talking everyday for like two months prior to meeting. Hence, I got to know him a bit. Although the word "closure" is a bit too strong. I'd say put an end to whatever was going on.
MidwestUSA Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Because we were talking everyday for like two months prior to meeting. Hence, I got to know him a bit. Although the word "closure" is a bit too strong. I'd say put an end to whatever was going on. Put an end. Simple. Do not contact him, no matter how tempted you may be. "Call me when YOU feel like making plans WE actually keep"? Ugh, no, just no. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Because we were talking everyday for like two months prior to meeting. Hence, I got to know him a bit. Although the word "closure" is a bit too strong. I'd say put an end to whatever was going on. The thing is, when someone isn't treating us well or disrespecting us and our time, you don't need their permission or a conversation about it to move on. You just do. You don't know this person. I'm curious as to why you reached out to HIM again, after he failed to lock down another date with you in the first place.
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) The thing is, when someone isn't treating us well or disrespecting us and our time, you don't need their permission or a conversation about it to move on. You just do. You don't know this person. I'm curious as to why you reached out to HIM again, after he failed to lock down another date with you in the first place. I told myself never to contact him again but for some reason, I talked myself into contacting him again. I was quite tempted. Go figure. Edited July 2, 2013 by ShiningMoon
Sunshine87 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Hey, something similar happened to me. We met at an event. We met up a few days later. Afterwards he made many plans but they never materialised. The first time, he called (impromptu) to find out if I was home so he could "stop by". I obviously wasn't home. Two other times, he called and said he would call later in the day to confirm plans- he never called back. Another time, he called but I was asleep. I called him back and he said that he wanted to take me for is TGIF work event but "he was already there". Another time, we planned to meet after a wedding he was attending but by a certain time, i had to go ahead with my plans- I couldn't spend the whole waiting for him. He said he would "stop by" after the wedding but I said I wasn't home. So I asked that we postpone to the next day. Next day came and he called to say that he was out with his Dad for the whole day. A few days later ( last wed to be precise), he asked if I was attending a mutual friend's event? I was and we agreed to meet there. Wellll......the event took place on sat and guess what? ...........he didn't come lol! I didnt even bother asking him anything. I deleted his number from my phone. Didn't mention a word to him. Well a few hours later ( after the event), he sent a message saying "Did xyz tell you why I didn't make it? I've been in bed since four pm" Needless to say that I read the message, deleted it and never responded. What a JOKE! Move on pls. Spare yourself the drama!
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