Author Queen of Sheba Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 Personally I'd find a new counselor if I heard that. Sounds really bad. But if you think she is good and it is helping then that is what is important. To be fair - it was at the last session and I don't think I mentioned a forum for people sharing experiences I said I had printed out some guidelines on what BSs are going through and how to help. She asked what credentials these people have and I said I think they were counselling sites which she didn't think much of! I'll bring up that I am now using a forum to gain insight and share expereinces and see what she thinks of that! I could see where she was coming from re the you are unique but I was annoyed 'cos I think it summed everything up perfectly and of course OH thought it was great that he didn't have to take everything from it! I emailed her the link so will wiat to see if she reads it and see what she thinks! She is very good, she bloody well wants to be for the price!
Confused48 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 She is very good, she bloody well wants to be for the price! LOL. Some proffesional are too hung up on credentials, but whatever. Did you see the book, "Not Just Friends?" That has a much the same opinion about affairs as you will find here. And the author has very substantial credentials. I'd not spend a dime on a counselor that did not agree that the principles in that book were not sound. Not that ALL good, well educated, well meaning counselors would agree with that author. I'm sure there are a lot of very well respected professionals that do not agree with that author. I just would not want one of them to be my marriage counselor. There are plenty that would agree and I'd pick one of those.
save150 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 My WS went through all of it mentioned here. Denied it. Shocked and speechless when presented with proof. A whole lotta proof. Angry Depressed Sorrow Excuses/blameshifting Trickle Truth Changing Stories And each one of the above happened after 5 more DDays. Especially the excuses and stories. We are almost a year after initial discovery. But after the last DDay, this past March, I really consider it 3 months after. Cause each DDay reset the clock. We're still together. He is trying but not very hard IMHO. I was in IC but the therapist really didn't help me so much so I stopped going. Funny thing...HE thinks I should be over it now. [rolls eyes]
Author Queen of Sheba Posted July 5, 2013 Author Posted July 5, 2013 My WS went through all of it mentioned here. And each one of the above happened after 5 more DDays. Especially the excuses and stories. We are almost a year after initial discovery. But after the last DDay, this past March, I really consider it 3 months after. Cause each DDay reset the clock. We're still together. He is trying but not very hard IMHO. I was in IC but the therapist really didn't help me so much so I stopped going. Funny thing...HE thinks I should be over it now. [rolls eyes] He went back to her 5 times and you are still with him? My OH has said if he does it again I can have the house and everything lol! Oh God yes the ignore it all it meant nothing. I can believe it meant nothing actually but it doesn't mean I have to accept it or understand the tikes he put her first whetherhe realised he did or not!
save150 Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 He went back to her 5 times and you are still with him? My OH has said if he does it again I can have the house and everything lol! Oh God yes the ignore it all it meant nothing. I can believe it meant nothing actually but it doesn't mean I have to accept it or understand the tikes he put her first whetherhe realised he did or not! Yes. The first DDay ended the PA. He went back several times and had the EA (although he doesn't see it that way). The last DDay this past March was the Nuclear Explosion OF THE YEAR. If you had looked towards East Coast USA you would have seen it. I gave him a lot to think about.
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