seahawker64 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 So I've been here awhile and never really told the story of the ex and I. I'll do my best to condense it but to understand my question it's something that needs to be understood before I ask it. School years: First meet when we are around 16 or 17. Live in the same neighborhood but her Boyfriend is one of my friends so no go other than I was attracted her immediatly. Age 21: She's no single, lost touch with my buddy after we got out of school. She and I hook up for the first time and are together 3 months before we split. She goes on to marry someone else as do I. Age 32: I'm separated from my Wife and she from her husband. Call's me out of the blue after almost 10 years NC. We hook up spend time together but both eventually go back to our spouses. Age 43: We lose my Wife to cancer and oddly she get's divorced from her Husband around the same time. Age 45: We reconnect on FB, status says in a relationship. I leave it alone because I'm not that type of guy. Couple months go by and now it's single. I jump and make contact. We go out a few times, everything is as hot as it was when we first started at age 21. This goes on until early this year when we split. So my question is this: WTF??????? ok, not really only that. She and I had some amazing chemistry but I think we get to intense and neither one of us are able to sustain the intensity but we always have had this thing. We know even when we are apart what is happening in the other's life. Kinda a 6th. sense thing. We had a temporary split when we were 47 for a couple of months. She started seeing someone within a month, it didn't work out and I knew it didn't. I knew when they called it off and I knew she was having a rough go of it. How did I know this, I could feel it without talking to her. It was just a vibe I started to get. I made contact on that feeling and we ended up together again because the vibes I was feeling were spot on. So this past weekend and today were really hard for me because I'm feeling something is off with her again and I feel like she will be in contact soon. I'm not ready for that nor am I ready to see her but I have this feeling it's coming. The real question and I think I'm bat**** crazy for even asking this but I'm curious if I'm not alone is do any of you get these intuitions or feelings. There is a name for it. It's called a psychic cord. Apparently it is real but I would like other's take's on it. Let the "this guy is crazy comment's start...lol"
lop98 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I think your story is kind of amazing... I'm still in my 20s but I 'connected' with someone this way, we develop feelings, we neglect them, years go by, get in touch and the feelings are back again, stronger unfortunately, this time he broke my heart and we're now both with other people. If I were you, I'd look for her, talk things through, try a real relationship finally, life is so short... but then I'm a romantic!
Author seahawker64 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 I think your story is kind of amazing... I'm still in my 20s but I 'connected' with someone this way, we develop feelings, we neglect them, years go by, get in touch and the feelings are back again, stronger unfortunately, this time he broke my heart and we're now both with other people. If I were you, I'd look for her, talk things through, try a real relationship finally, life is so short... but then I'm a romantic! Yea, I'm very confused about. I've been religiously maintaining NC for me own sake. I'm learning that NC is not the golden answer. It's good for quite a bit of stuff but it also forces you to not have to deal with unresolved issues and those can be haunting. I've toyed with the idea of writing her a letter and not getting to wound up if she doesn't respond. I can do that, because I know how she operates and she doesn't respond....she just stews on it, until she finally decides for herself that we need to talk. She doesn't do well being pushed and I know this. The jury is still out on this but I'm leaning towards at least writing it. If I send it or not, I don't know. then again, I need to look at the flip side and realize she has not reached out to me either other than a cryptic email that may or may not have been from her. I really don;t know what to do right now other than keep on trying to live my life with the realization she is not in in right now. It's all very confusing.
aloneinaz Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 That's a great story of an on/off love affair. But sadly, it demonstrates that you're not meant to be together long term or you would have. You both have had too many get togethers and break ups. History is littered with couples who were infatuated with each other on the short term but were not compatible in the long term. My last ex and I had immediate, intense chemistry, sexual connection and attraction. I remember going, FINALLY, I've met 'the one'. Fast forward a few months and your blinders come down and you see all the deal breakers about them. I'm in my 40's as well and only now is it really clicking with me that relationships are NEVER the same after even one break up or separation. Multiple break ups, forget it.. I don't know any long term married couple who ever broke up at any time during the relationship. None, zero, nada.
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