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Posted

Hi y'all. So my fiance/boyfriend of three years left me a few months ago seemingly out of the blue. We have been doing long distance for the last year, we are young...college/med school. During our relationship, I got myself into a situation where I ended up in a room alone with another man alone, he tried kissing me, and I moved away. Told my fiance about it right away. I did other less serious idiotic things while drinking. This was all before we got engaged and when we got engaged, I toned my drinking down. We had begun to get into tiffs about his humor (offensive 'jokes'). One of these blew up and he broke up with me via text. Since we were long distance at the time, I called him begging him to change his mind, he repeatedly says "it's too late" and doesn't listen to a word I say. I said something along the terms of "I guess I should go kill myself then, huh?" and hung up. He then completely shut me out of his life for two months. We are starting to talk again, but it's mostly him insulting me. He says that he was just mad, that he wasn't actually serious about the break up, but he will never be able to forgive me "convincing him I was going to kill myself". The thing is, I still have the ring. My family is very strongly against me giving it back since he is the one that broke it off and handled it in extremely poor fashion. I am more with them than not, but I am not sure what to feel. I know this post makes our relationship sound horrendous, but it really wasn't. But anyways, thoughts on the ring.

Posted

You sound like a bad match and too immature for marriage. And keeping the ring would make you look like a selfish, greedy person regardless of who broke it off. The ring is a promise to marry, and if things went bad before that happened then do the right thing and give it back. Why would you want it anyway?

  • Like 3
Posted

I agree, I would give it back. When did he give it to you? I know my brother had given his fiance a ring a few months before she called off the engagement and relationship. I believe she should give the ring back since she was the one who ended the relationship.

Posted

Give it back. No question about it... its just an item with a baaaaad vibe attached to it, besides, unless you need money, selling it would be awful karma.

 

Long distance relationships work great imo, all four people can be extremely happy!

 

Question, if he thought you were "really" going to kill yourself, was he so concerned that he broke contact for 2 months? I am 99% sure he has someone on the side... classic booty reactions from what you describe.

Posted

Give it back. And, yeah, you guys sound way too immature for making such a move. Move on. Grow up. And please wait a long time before getting married.

 

Also, wrong forum. This is for bad marriages, not break-up stuff. Just sayin.

Posted

It is irrelevant who broke it off or how.

Sounds like you are lucky you didn't get married though. Neither of you seem quite ready for that.

I hope you give it back. You are not going to be married to him and don't need a 'symbol' of your marriage. Why would you want it other than to hurt him?

  • Like 1
Posted

If he wants the ring back, send it to him. I think you may be legally obligated to do so...unless you happened to receive it on another occasion like a birthday or Xmas. Then it's usually seen as a gift by courts.

 

If it wasn't a major financial hit and he isn't asking for it, do what you want with it.

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