Bigtim286 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Ok now this will take awhile. I'm 23, my ex is 20. We first met at my work when she came to my work then starting talking on Facebook. Well after our first date we connected, we could feel it, see it. We then slowly getting more involved. Texting daily, till I came to her house. Well eventually maybe around month I just stopped talking to her. I was scared of being hurt and also my routine with work and my personally life I knew it wouldn't have worked out no matter how hard I tried so it easier.. Well randomly couple months later she messaged me back about some random post I placed on Facebook, then I tried to slowly initiated conversation. She was upset at what I did to her, so taking it slow was what I did, we texted a little, she became a little moreOpen but you could deeply she was still on her guard and angry. Well I thought things were going great until she texted me " sorry dont want to see you anymore I truly do apologize" and such. So at this point I stop communicating to respect her and eventually move on. WELL, about another month month and a half, she texted me out of the blue "hey" and similar asking how I was doing. I explained. I carefully opened up until she said " to be honest only time I remember being happy was with you, she got a fresh start, moved back home and such" well we casually talk again, then it escalates to seeing each other when were comfortable, until that full on connection we both first shared Initiated. Then about a month later I ask her out, because she kept wanting me to say it even though we both knew we were together practically. Things go great in our relationship, texting everyday, calling hanging out etc. now I will list some keys factors during this time. The sex was great when it worked lol, I had a Erectile dysfunction problem and if it didn't happen I would get angry, and we would argue possibly fight, but then it went away and I learned to keep calm, I told her I use to be an addict (hydrocodone) and she found a pill. We argued because honesty is important in a relationship and I told her I would try to quit but I can't promise. We had a huge argument/fight but I quit. We argued about other stuff but made up, I was sometimes forgetful in things she told me, and had a problem being on my phone or seeming distracted around her but I corrected the problems and pushed it aside. Now here are things when they started to turn cold. About a month prior to our break up I saw she wrote on Facebook "if you have to remind yourself of your love for someone, is it really love?" We did have an arguement recently and I don't if its because we never talked about them or just made up and pushed them to the side. But anyways, I called her, asked her why she wrote that, and she couldn't explain, saying she just wanted me to come over. So when I went over and left nextoening she writes "idk what I was thinking I love you much" things seemingly go fine, but then her car breakes down, so she is out of a car, she is in debt with credit card/bank, and her sister and family are constantly fighting either with her or themselves. Days to by and she seems fine, but I start to pick up on it, her body language, way she talks, etc. until one day when we talk on the phone and she says "idk it's like I look so forward to talking with you when you get home and then it's like hmmm is that what I been waiting for?" And says that she doesn't feel connected with me anymore.. So I do my best show her love, affection, roses and most importantly give her the attention and to talk to her about her problems. Then she texts me " I want you to know you've got a strong hold on me, I deserve you, love you, hope of stealing your last time, I don't mean things I say sometimes etc.." This point I think everything is going great..until couple days I kinda texted short responses because of work and I was just in a crank mood. Sometimes it happen. Then when I was waiting for to get finished hanging with her friend, I get a text saying I'm staying with her.. So I call her, then it happens, she tells me that " I don't know if you're one, I don't know why I feel like this, I love you just need to think, don't think it's you who is the one, tired Of arguing etc." didn't really shock me because of how she was acting. Also when she pulled up her IM on Facebook to showme some of the guys hitting on her probably a week before we broke up. I saw she wrote this guy. "He's not really my bf" even after we've officially been together a month!! Now her body language, tone of voice everything.. Showed me that she sincerely felt bad and shouldn't have. but have I know that I would've ended it months ago. Well, she comes over that same night she was going to go to her friends. We have one last night together. While I hold her we talk, not about the bad, but good things we had and what we enjoyed and will miss. She starts crying and says " it's only not you it's me, and if I could tell you what it is I would, and I really do love you and sorry cause I really wanted it to be you I marry such and such... Yes, she has brought up marriage plenty of times! But, next morning, we have sex, then I drive her to her friends, we enjoy the ride and I could see that spark in her again because she felt like having a weight off her shoulders by me knowing. I broke up with her because I want her happy, and I felt that's what she'll have. I then drop her off, we hug. And I drive away.. That's the last time I've seen her. She has said she wanted to stay best friends, even hang out for the 4th of July! Which is in a few days. I told her I can't because that'll just make things more painful for the time being. Well that same day we broke up. I get a text at night" ugh i miss you, not too exciting to be sleeping in my bed alone but it'll be best, I love you good night" I DID NOT TEXT BACK. But I want to so bad! If you have managed to read all of this thank you! But my question is based off this info. What can I do to get her back, because honestly I love her to death. I haven't made any contact because I don't want no apathy shown and to confuse her. Kind of to make her realize what she lost! Her family and best friends even yelled at her for not giving me a chance when I realized I messed up the first time! So should i text back? Let her have her own time for now? Is she confused? Please help me!! Officially we been together for 5 months, unofficially 10 months. Thank you!
Renard99 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 First of all, she's made a decision and you can't change that, only she can. The best you can do is drop off the radar. Go 'No Contact'. If she misses you then great, if not, then you're already living life as if she doesn't exist. Second, you need to spend the time alone working on your own problems. The drug problem, the erectile dysfunction, the lack of commitment, the distractions and the willingness to just 'push things aside'. They're all things that need to be addressed, whether that's done by talking to someone, confronting things head on or by getting help from a professional. If you spend the time apart working on yourself you'll be a better man for whoever you date next, whether that's with your ex or with someone new. 1
Author Bigtim286 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 She texted me again last night.. "Just thinking about you. Good night" I swear she confuses me.. Again, I have not replied.
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