sdraw108 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Women like you need to realise something. Now I don't say that to be insulting at all but I just wanna get this point out of the way. The first thing a guys wants is sex and that's the bottom line. Don't tar all guys with the same brush. I'm a guy, and I completely disagree with this statement. The first thing I want, is to click with a girl and develop an emotional connection. A relationship is worthless without that. State your opinion by all means, insofar as it pertains to yourself and people you know. But don't say things like "The first thing a guy wants is sex and that's the bottom line", unless you've managed to develop telepathy and have peered into the mind of the entire male population of the planet. 4
sdraw108 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I'd be gone after date 3. Women who are highly into you don't make you wait for sex. Actions speak louder than words. If I were in the reverse situation, I'd be glad to see someone who thought like this gone after date 3. No point wasting time on someone who is inconsiderate of your feelings, they'll probably be just as inconsiderate later in the relationship. Of course it depends on your priorities. If you're just after casual sex, then 3 dates probably seems like a lot. If you're after something more meaningful, 3 dates is nothing. 1
Phoe Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I have a tendency to wait, and it's never been a problem. My first boyfriend waited 6 months... next boyfriend waited 2 months. My most recent waited 1 month. I make it known that I want to wait until I know him better and feel comfortable, that way it can be an AWESOME experience and not an awkward "we hardly know each other and now you're gawking at my vag" experience. If a guy were to take off after hearing that then oh well! It was obvious what his intentions were. Fortunately I've never had a guy gripe about waiting, and once sex starts for me, it doesn't stop! If I have a boyfriend he's having sex all the time haha. It's worth it to make sure the first time is a good time and not an awkward mood ruiner. 2
samsungxoxo Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 3 dates isn't early. 1st date, yes I'd agree with you. And considering the casual sex women have, there's no reason for there to be no sex by date 3. I'm sorry, but a guy with options is not sticking around waiting for sex while she secretly has a FB or FWB.That would only work if the woman is very experienced just like the man and she's used to casual sex. Not with me having the lowest number ever (well only the 0 beats me).
thefooloftheyear Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I know and that leaves me to date the awkward guy many woman would probably not give him the time of he day, the one that might not even be good looking and slightly overweight. I'm coming to the point I don't care anymore if he lacks some social skills. Maybe I was meant to be with him. Seems that's the only choice nowadays and there is no middle ground. It's between either the extremely extroverted typical stud or the awkward one that stutters in some sentences. I'll take the awkward one. I cant speak for everyone, but just let me say this... I am as sexually charged a guy as anyone. Well built, All Alpha male, blah. blah...that being said, if I was with a woman that I was really into and she didnt feel comfortable having sex right away, then I would honor that..My ONLY concern is that it wasnt because she wasnt into me. So long as that wasnt an issue, then Id have no problem waiting..Would I wait an eternity,? no..how long would I wait? I really cant say, it depends on the person/circumstances. Some of the responses from my male counterparts are frankly laughable..Are you guys that shallow that you couldnt wait for someone who is really special?? "three dates -no sex- im outta there?" Really? TFY 5
ltjg45 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 No. Esp. since I'm not sex-driven at all. In fact, I'm more liable to make my partner annoyed that I'm not pushing for sex than the other way around. One would say that "I'm too patient to want sex." 1
samsungxoxo Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 No. Esp. since I'm not sex-driven at all. In fact, I'm more liable to make my partner annoyed that I'm not pushing for sex than the other way around. One would say that "I'm too patient to want sex."Where are you guys? We need more like you out there. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I have a tendency to wait, and it's never been a problem. My first boyfriend waited 6 months... next boyfriend waited 2 months. My most recent waited 1 month. I make it known that I want to wait until I know him better and feel comfortable, that way it can be an AWESOME experience and not an awkward "we hardly know each other and now you're gawking at my vag" experience. If a guy were to take off after hearing that then oh well! It was obvious what his intentions were. Fortunately I've never had a guy gripe about waiting, and once sex starts for me, it doesn't stop! If I have a boyfriend he's having sex all the time haha. It's worth it to make sure the first time is a good time and not an awkward mood ruiner. At the rate you are going,. By the time the next few bf's are done youll be getting it on after before you know his last name!! Just kiddin, of course.... TFY 2
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 If I were in the reverse situation, I'd be glad to see someone who thought like this gone after date 3. No point wasting time on someone who is inconsiderate of your feelings, they'll probably be just as inconsiderate later in the relationship. Of course it depends on your priorities. If you're just after casual sex, then 3 dates probably seems like a lot. If you're after something more meaningful, 3 dates is nothing. Everyone is free to do as they wish. But after 3 dates, you already have at least a solid idea where things are headed. Do you really want to be the guy who waited 10 dates while the guy she was more attracted to got it by date 2 or 3? I always judge by actions, male and female alike. Having sex on date 3 to me says she has no sexual hangups and won't use sex to manipulate me. Make me wait that long means she's most likely getting sex elsewhere and I'm not going to stick around for that. The 3 date rule has worked for me and I've noticed the ones who put out by date 3 are also more confident.
bluegreen Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Where are you guys? We need more like you out there. Desperately 1
Jane2011 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Most of the guys I've been involved with have been willing to wait a good bit of time (I can't say *how* long they would be willing to wait, but it was stated explicitly that they were in no hurry and wanted to go at my pace). Two even told me, after we'd already had sex a first time, "If you're uncomfortable with this, we can just spend time together for a while before we get physical again." It's just that I don't care to wait or spend time together first. lol. I care about relationships and I've always wanted a long term, steady boyfriend over just flings, or sex with guys who don't care about me, but...in general, I'm a sexual person -- especially in the beginning -- and I like for it to happen sooner rather than later. I even pressured my current boyfriend for sex (ehhh, sort of; he wasn't that experienced, so he was nervous. After we had sex a first time, I wanted to do it again. But he still felt insecure about things. I actually had to ask him, "When are we going to have sex again?" In the end, we had it again pretty quickly and ended up having it very regularly after that. But initially, (I even joke with him about it now), in a sort of crazy role reversal, I sort of had to pressure him for it. Things are the opposite now; he usually initiates sex, and if anything, wants it just slightly more than I am in the mood or have the energy for.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Everyone is free to do as they wish. But after 3 dates, you already have at least a solid idea where things are headed. Do you really want to be the guy who waited 10 dates while the guy she was more attracted to got it by date 2 or 3? I always judge by actions, male and female alike. Having sex on date 3 to me says she has no sexual hangups and won't use sex to manipulate me. Make me wait that long means she's most likely getting sex elsewhere and I'm not going to stick around for that. The 3 date rule has worked for me and I've noticed the ones who put out by date 3 are also more confident. True... But maybe you need at it another way...Dont be fooled into thinking that if a woman put out easlily for you that she was SOOO into you..It just means that she might not put such a high priority on the "value" of the intimacy in the relationship... Translation?? She might be inclined to give in to another swinging dick just as easily (or easier), than you..I remember some time back I met this woman and literally within 5 hours of being with her we were tearing up the bedroom..Sure, she said all the right things..."OMG, I have never done that before"..."you are THE ONE"..Yeah right...I came to find out shed fck anything that would fog a mirror. Im not saying this is true in all cases, but I know that I would be a bit suspicious/cautious.. TFY 2
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 True... But maybe you need at it another way...Dont be fooled into thinking that if a woman put out easlily for you that she was SOOO into you..It just means that she might not put such a high priority on the "value" of the intimacy in the relationship... Translation?? She might be inclined to give in to another swinging dick just as easily (or easier), than you..I remember some time back I met this woman and literally within 5 hours of being with her we were tearing up the bedroom..Sure, she said all the right things..."OMG, I have never done that before"..."you are THE ONE"..Yeah right...I came to find out shed fck anything that would fog a mirror. Im not saying this is true in all cases, but I know that I would be a bit suspicious/cautious.. TFY Yeah but even the most inexperienced can give it up to someone she's highly attracted to. Putting out early doesn't automatically equal easy or mentally disturbed. I've been at work where drunk girls asked me to bang them in the bathroom. That is slutty. There's a huge difference between that and date #3. 1
TheFinalWord Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Guys, would you be mad if you had 10+ dates and didn't have sex yet? Not in the slightest. 1
Star Gazer Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I'm female and yes, I'd be kinda pissed if a guy didn't want sex after 14 dates. Ditto. I think I'd grow impatient around Date 8 (I don't really know though... never had to wait that long, that I can recall).
kaylan Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) I have a tendency to wait, and it's never been a problem. My first boyfriend waited 6 months... next boyfriend waited 2 months. My most recent waited 1 month. I make it known that I want to wait until I know him better and feel comfortable, that way it can be an AWESOME experience and not an awkward "we hardly know each other and now you're gawking at my vag" experience. If a guy were to take off after hearing that then oh well! It was obvious what his intentions were. Fortunately I've never had a guy gripe about waiting, and once sex starts for me, it doesn't stop! If I have a boyfriend he's having sex all the time haha. It's worth it to make sure the first time is a good time and not an awkward mood ruiner. I wouldnt really count first or second sex partners. Notice how much lower the wait time got after the first 2 guys? Guys and girls tend to have no problems waiting when they are virgins or just had been with 1 person. Usually thats because of being very young and also not knowing what you are missing yet. Its why a lot of high schoolers end up in relationships that can pass the year mark before they first have sex.I cant speak for everyone, but just let me say this... I am as sexually charged a guy as anyone. Well built, All Alpha male, blah. blah...that being said, if I was with a woman that I was really into and she didnt feel comfortable having sex right away, then I would honor that..My ONLY concern is that it wasnt because she wasnt into me. So long as that wasnt an issue, then Id have no problem waiting..Would I wait an eternity,? no..how long would I wait? I really cant say, it depends on the person/circumstances. Some of the responses from my male counterparts are frankly laughable..Are you guys that shallow that you couldnt wait for someone who is really special?? "three dates -no sex- im outta there?" Really? TFY If a girl was super special, the chemistry would be there and we both wouldnt be able to wait past a month. But hey, I dunno...Ive never had to really wait for sex except with my one ex and thats because she was a virgin (she was 19, I was 22 at the time). And despite that we had done everything else 3 weeks in. Edited July 2, 2013 by kaylan
Titania22 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I would say it's an individual thing. I wouldn't wait 10+ dates for sex, because if I am attracted (I don't want to be frustrated), and if I am not why would I keep seeing the person (I would hope I could work out if I have any attraction for them a little faster than that). In my daughters case I am happy for her to take all the time she needs, and not give into any sort of peer pressure. I definitely think age and personal experience plays a part in how quickly a person is ready to take that step. I don't think anyone should pressure the other person, and if their speed doesn't work for you, just move on. 1
gaius Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It would depend on how much I liked her and how quickly she's slept with other guys in the past. I could wait a long time if she didn't sleep with anyone else fast and I was into her. I'd have a problem if she normally has sex on the 3rd date and things were dragging into the 6th though. 2
L1ght Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Don't tar all guys with the same brush. I'm a guy, and I completely disagree with this statement. The first thing I want, is to click with a girl and develop an emotional connection. A relationship is worthless without that. State your opinion by all means, insofar as it pertains to yourself and people you know. But don't say things like "The first thing a guy wants is sex and that's the bottom line", unless you've managed to develop telepathy and have peered into the mind of the entire male population of the planet. Its ok. I understand your need to score points with the ladies by pretending that the first thing you think about is being able to connect to them on a deep and emotional level so that you can both stare at the stars together at night and dream your ever so wonderful dreams....blah blah blah. I understand what you are doing because its the same old little song and dance that every guy does when he is trying to get into ladies into bed. Yes we like the ladies, Yes we like talking to them and getting to know them and all that good stuff but essentially we want to get them into bed. Deny it all you want but men are biologically hardwired to be primed and ready for sex as soon as we can get it. Women know this too and its guys like you who are too afraid to make a move at the right time that end up going home alone while she checks her phone to see if one of her other potential options has called her that night to arrange a hook up. Snooze and you lose buddy. Simple as that.
sillyanswer Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Say you really enjoyed her company and thought she was both attractive and interesting. Would you be annoyed with not having sex by dates 10-14? Not annoyed or mad, but what I do might also depend on what she thought about me. There's going to have to be some good communication or I'm going to assume that she's not really interested and move on before then.
phineas Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Lol, I wouldnt get to 10 dates with a girl and there be no sex. Id have pulled the plug on things if she didnt already. Also in my dating experiences, if I made it to more than a handful of hangouts with a girl, we would already be pouncing one another. Same. If it didn't happen within 3 or 4 dates it never happened. 10 dates? I don't think i've hung out that many times with a female friend before she jumped me & we were just friends up until that point.
BradJacobs Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Say you really enjoyed her company and thought she was both attractive and interesting. Would you be annoyed with not having sex by dates 10-14? Would you even think to be in a relationship with her BEFORE having sex? Just taking a quick poll If you have any other comments feel free to share! I don't get into relationships without sex. Why am I still around at date 14 when we haven't practiced hugging while naked?
ASG Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I wouldn't wait that long. If sex wasn't forthcoming in the first few dates, I'd move on. People I've been out with more than 10 times with no sex are my friends. Not potential lovers. Also, I wouldn't get into a relationship without having sex first, so that would have to happen fairly early on. 2
RedRobin Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Responses to this thread confirm my practice of not dating strangers... I only agree to date men I know something about through work, friends, or some organization where I can get to know his interests and character a bit... and see how he treats other women. In other words, he will have to be independently vetted as a responsible person looking for a relationship before I will go on even one 'date'. I couldn't care less how 'hot' he is.
therhythm Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Say you really enjoyed her company and thought she was both attractive and interesting. Would you be annoyed with not having sex by dates 10-14? Would you even think to be in a relationship with her BEFORE having sex? Just taking a quick poll If you have any other comments feel free to share! If a woman is not crazy to f.uck my brains off by the third date as much as I am to do it to her... then I am not interested... for me chemistry and physical attraction are as important as personality compatibility... 1
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