NC is not for me

[theonlyjuan]

My breakup might not apply to all, but NC is not always the way forward.

Maybe I am good at getting over things, I dunno.

 

Today I met up with my ex, so she could return something of mine. I was a little worried about feelings coming back and an awkward conversation. We ended up talking for over an hour. I was totally fine and we had a really nice happy chat.

While I was talking to her I was having a good look at her and thinking about everything.

 

I think I have accepted that is is over, for me anyway. She still seems mixed up and stressed out. She is only young and has to find herself and decide what she wants or expects out of life.

 

I know she will move on and have other boyfriends. I will miss the nice days we spent together and everything, but I think I'm at peace with it.

 

After thinking about everything and knowing she will change as she gets older, I think I have realized that it may not have lasted anyway. People change, especially as they grow up.

 

I have been dreading meeting her and talking. It now feels like a huge weight has been lifted. I feel that's what I needed to slowly move on. I'm sure I will have my sad days, but who doesn't.

 

It's nice to know we can talk and it;s all ok. I feel we can get on well without it getting awkward.

 

I am happy to have her as a friend.

 

NC is not the way for me.

[mtnbiker3000]

My breakup might not apply to all, but NC is not always the way forward.

Maybe I am good at getting over things, I dunno.

 

Today I met up with my ex, so she could return something of mine. I was a little worried about feelings coming back and an awkward conversation. We ended up talking for over an hour. I was totally fine and we had a really nice happy chat.

While I was talking to her I was having a good look at her and thinking about everything.

 

I think I have accepted that is is over, for me anyway. She still seems mixed up and stressed out. She is only young and has to find herself and decide what she wants or expects out of life.

 

I know she will move on and have other boyfriends. I will miss the nice days we spent together and everything, but I think I'm at peace with it.

 

After thinking about everything and knowing she will change as she gets older, I think I have realized that it may not have lasted anyway. People change, especially as they grow up.

 

I have been dreading meeting her and talking. It now feels like a huge weight has been lifted. I feel that's what I needed to slowly move on. I'm sure I will have my sad days, but who doesn't.

 

It's nice to know we can talk and it;s all ok. I feel we can get on well without it getting awkward.

 

I am happy to have her as a friend.

 

NC is not the way for me.

 

How old are you? Her? How long did you date? Live together?

[Million.to.1]

It's great that you feel this way about this relationship and that it's ended well. That's awesome.

 

 

Don't disregard NC as a strategy for future coping though, saying it's not for you. Maybe your next relationship that ends will be different and you will not find the resolution in you heart so easily.

[theonlyjuan]

I am 24 she is 18. Did not live together.

 

We dated for 6 months. I can understand why it's harder for those who have been in LTR.

 

But my ex before I was with for 7 years. Friends with her too, never went NC

 

Maybe I am fickle. Maybe I convince myself I love them. I really don't know, but I have always gotten over things fast, breakups,deaths etc.

 

I could be good at distracting myself or maybe even good at blocking emotions out.

 

Whatever it is, it works for me.

[mtnbiker3000]

I could be good at distracting myself or maybe even good at blocking emotions out.

 

Hmmm. Be careful here. These things may be lurking inside and increasing in pressure, until... POP!!! Just like a covered pot... Just sayin'

[Simon Phoenix]

I'd be wary of declaring this over. You might be on a contact high. Or maybe you are just able to turn the page quicker. But I wouldn't get too cocky yet -- that's typically when s--t goes south.

[Chi townD]

I am 24 she is 18. Did not live together.

 

We dated for 6 months. I can understand why it's harder for those who have been in LTR.

 

But my ex before I was with for 7 years. Friends with her too, never went NC

 

Maybe I am fickle. Maybe I convince myself I love them. I really don't know, but I have always gotten over things fast, breakups,deaths etc.

 

I could be good at distracting myself or maybe even good at blocking emotions out.

 

Whatever it is, it works for me.

 

or maybe you weren't THAT invested in the relationship as you thought in order for you to come to a feeling of indifference towards her.

[theonlyjuan]

I think because I have always had clean breakups, so that helps . I'm not knocking NC I am just saying it is not always a must. Maybe one day I will need to do NC with someone.

 

I do feel a bit of a freak though, like I can turn emotions on and off . I hope I'm not blocking years of emotional pain out, and one day have a mental breakdown

[hoping2heal]

If you can be in contact and have it not bring hurt to you or hinder you from moving on then all the power to you. NC doesn't have to be the only way to behave post breakup. It's just that for most people having that person in our life is just too painful (at least until we move on).

[Mack05]

NC is not for you because 1) u are immature...2) you are selfish ( me, its about ME) and 3) Ignorant. 1 and 3 u grow off. 2 who knows. Enjoy the upcoming bloodbath..

[theonlyjuan]

I think I have just decided enough is enough. I am fed up with feeling like crap and moping. It's just like my mind had let it all go. I'm a positive person and I just have to move on. To be honest I'm ok with everything and happy for now.