deissy_12 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I was texting with the guy I'm dating and we were playing around when I told him "you are a nice animal". He knows I was playing but got mad and told me to "**** off" and then he told me "I'm not good right now don't talk to me" .. So I apologized for telling him that but he hasn't texted me back? Until now he hasn't talked to me and this barely happened last night. I don't know what should I do ?
Author deissy_12 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 He has never used used a curse word towards me so I was really surprised when he said this. I know him as a sweet and respectful guy but yesterday this surprised me.
todreaminblue Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 He has never used used a curse word towards me so I was really surprised when he said this. I know him as a sweet and respectful guy but yesterday this surprised me. I don't know if the conversation you had was a joking one where you said you are a nice animal........or what was before you said that comment...i do know this if a guy tells me to f off....its not something i would appreciate either......and it wasnt said in a joking manner but more dont talk to me....go jump sort of attitude..its aggressive and not so sweet...what did you text him back that he didnt reply to?....deb
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I was texting with the guy I'm dating and we were playing around when I told him "you are a nice animal". He knows I was playing but got mad and told me to "**** off" and then he told me "I'm not good right now don't talk to me" .. So I apologized for telling him that but he hasn't texted me back? Until now he hasn't talked to me and this barely happened last night. I don't know what should I do ? Follow his "advice" and don't contact him again. If you were just playing around, can you imagine how awful things could get in the heat of an argument? 3
Tinie Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 What he said to you was overkill. Even if someone told me I was a nice animal in a joking manner but I didn't like it, I wouldn't cuss my head off at them. What the heck. 2
happywithlife Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Simply put that type of a response is a a major RED FLAG! If he ever gets back to you tell him you two are done! 1
Phantom888 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I would never use that kind of language towards someone I care about. That is messed up. No excuse for cursing at you, even if his mom died or something. This is bad.
2sure Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Send him a text: nice animal, niiice animal. Throw him right over the edge. 6
Archgirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) Don't take it to heart. He's either looking for an excuse to cut off contact or he's trying to control your emotional reactions by "push-pulling" you. They way normal well adjusted brains work is that when someone we like is upset with us is to try and "fix" it and to assume that they are being honest and we have done something wrong or upsetting. Only problem is that this leaves us all ripe for manipulation by people who get their emotional security from eliciting this emotional reassurance from people close to them (in the form of apologies, extra words of affection etc). They usually feel extra insecure and so manipulate to feel their need for external validation. This does not mean that he's a bad guy, he's probably not even doing it consiously and it may be a by-product of something else going on in his life. Good news is, how you react the first time someone pulls this move on you can make a big difference. Be boundaried, be assertive and kind. In this particular case do not message him again. Let him make any moves to a reconcilliation or you'll only end up constantly having to work to avoid being rejected like that again and tying your self worth into his approval. That's the other stupid bit about well adjusted brains. We get emotionally attached with trust and feel hurt when someone we care about suddenly removes their care/affections and instinctively try to so whatever we can to get it back. Resist this in early dating. No one is worth having to constantly "work" to feel loved and secure. And if he was just looking for an excuse to stop things with you there's absolutely no point in trying to win him over, you cannot "make" guys like you. Or definitely not without significantly damaging your sense of self worth. Good luck sweetheart, let us know what happens xox Edited July 2, 2013 by Archgirl 4
crude Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It sounds like you should just write him off, unless you've been using him to move furniture and 1000 other things and he's been building up a resentment for being used like a pack animal. 1
Archgirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It sounds like you should just write him off, unless you've been using him to move furniture and 1000 other things and he's been building up a resentment for being used like a pack animal. Man! you really are spoiling for a fight today aren't you babes? But youre slipping, that one was pretty wide off the mark
Author deissy_12 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 I think he has some type of resentment building up. I have gotten mad at him like 2 times, and I stop texting him for about 2 days (we text everyday). He sends me messages until I finally cave in and answer him. Sadly, our main communication is through messages. I think he wants me to be begging him by texting him until he finally answers. But one message is enough to me. If he doesn't answer the previous I won't text anymore. He just texted me right now saying "it was a bad joke, and u don't respect me!!" He takes everything to heart since we met, one time I called him "dumb" and he got really upset too. Maybe its because he is just learning english (he is arab) , and takes the main definition of each word. I'm still confused :/
AverageCat Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 It just shows he CARES ABOUT YOU. (as he can be hurt by your words.) It also shows he's not very good at controlling his emotions. However, for me that's not a deal breaker. Just give him his space and send him a short supportive line if you want.
Archgirl Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I think he has some type of resentment building up. I have gotten mad at him like 2 times, and I stop texting him for about 2 days (we text everyday). He sends me messages until I finally cave in and answer him. Sadly, our main communication is through messages. I think he wants me to be begging him by texting him until he finally answers. But one message is enough to me. If he doesn't answer the previous I won't text anymore. He just texted me right now saying "it was a bad joke, and u don't respect me!!" He takes everything to heart since we met, one time I called him "dumb" and he got really upset too. Maybe its because he is just learning english (he is arab) , and takes the main definition of each word. I'm still confused :/ Uh-oh! Youve been playing manipulative games with him - you've been the one push-pulling him to get a response by "getting mad" and then completely ignoring his attempts to contact you. You've made him feel so insecure that he's now doing the same to you. Lesson learned maybe? Manipulation in romantic relationships will always turn around and bite you in the ass. It sounds like you got a taste of your own medicine. doesn't feel very nice does it? Once you've opened the door to passive aggressive stuff like this and broken trust it's pretty hard to repair things. The only way is to aplogise for your previous behaviour; for playing games and ignoring him when you should have been talking to him to resolve the issues, letting him know how you really feel about him and promising to be better at communicating honestly in the future.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I think he has some type of resentment building up. I have gotten mad at him like 2 times, and I stop texting him for about 2 days (we text everyday). He sends me messages until I finally cave in and answer him. Sadly, our main communication is through messages. I think he wants me to be begging him by texting him until he finally answers. But one message is enough to me. If he doesn't answer the previous I won't text anymore. He just texted me right now saying "it was a bad joke, and u don't respect me!!" He takes everything to heart since we met, one time I called him "dumb" and he got really upset too. Maybe its because he is just learning english (he is arab) , and takes the main definition of each word. I'm still confused :/ Don't make excuses for him. And don't play silly games like ignoring him and making him beg for your attention. It sounds like neither of you are ready for the communication and commitment necessary for a healthy relationship.
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