na49 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Does anyone else feel really uncomfortable when someone else offers to do something nice for them? Whenever someone offers to do something for me, I almost feel obligated to say "No" even if I would really like for them to do whatever they offered. I feel like by accepting their offer, they'll think I'm taking advantage of them. If they offered to do it for me, I should be allowed to accept their offer, right?
Author na49 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 If you feel uncomfortable, why not reciprocate? I usually always do feel like I have to. If not right away, I always will try to do something nice for them the next time I have the chance.
FitChick Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 You feel undeserving, either consciously or subconsciously.
Author na49 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 You feel undeserving, either consciously or subconsciously. Probably subconsciously, but this makes a lot of sense actually. Any suggestions on how to deal with it? Why would I feel undeserving when someone else wants to do something nice for me? I do nice things for people all the time.
Taramere Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Does anyone else feel really uncomfortable when someone else offers to do something nice for them? Whenever someone offers to do something for me, I almost feel obligated to say "No" even if I would really like for them to do whatever they offered. I feel like by accepting their offer, they'll think I'm taking advantage of them. If they offered to do it for me, I should be allowed to accept their offer, right? Of course. I think most people wouldn't offer to do you a favour unless they meant it. Generally it's not the accepting of favours they've offered that you'll hear people complaining about, so much as they feeling that their efforts were unappreciated/taken for granted. So as long as you show appreciation, they'll probably generally be happy that you accepted a favour.
Author na49 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Of course. I think most people wouldn't offer to do you a favour unless they meant it. Generally it's not the accepting of favours they've offered that you'll hear people complaining about, so much as they feeling that their efforts were unappreciated/taken for granted. So as long as you show appreciation, they'll probably generally be happy that you accepted a favour. Well I do show appreciation. I always say "thank you" sometimes I say it more than once. Another time I feel undeserving is if I've never done anything "nice" for the person before and all of a sudden they are doing something nice for me. I don't feel like it's a trade off, but I don't want to be seen as a user if I don't return the favor at some point.
jphcbpa Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Probably subconsciously, but this makes a lot of sense actually. Any suggestions on how to deal with it? Why would I feel undeserving when someone else wants to do something nice for me? I do nice things for people all the time. You are probably a people pleaser.
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