LostGirl11 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 You can play the guessing game all day long. You need to ask him why he's still checking up on her. Tell him that you know you shouln't have snooped but what he's doing is worse. Seriously, this is going to do your head in. Ask him. If his answer doesn't sit well with you then you know what to do. Good luck. 2
Casablanca Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 You can play the guessing game all day long. You need to ask him why he's still checking up on her. Tell him that you know you shouln't have snooped but what he's doing is worse. Seriously, this is going to do your head in. Ask him. If his answer doesn't sit well with you then you know what to do. Good luck. I'm not sure what the best approach is, it does need to be addressed though. Anyone has tips on how the OP should approach this? Should the OP mention the snooping...there is no way to accidentally run across that or maybe should they just have a relationship talk to see how they two of them are doing and try to lead that towards his ex?
Sunshine87 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 My ex left me to be with another girl. Sorry, I have no advice. Hope things work out for you both xx
Iama Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I agree with a previous poster. Straight up ask him to share with you his activity log. Or straight up ask him why he's been checking her out. Tell him to be sincere because this means a lot for you
Author hopefulinlove Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Yes you're probably right i should say something. But I don't know if I want to continue if there is still feelings there for her. He definitely won't tell me if they are though that is the thing, and he will be offended if I accuse him of it. And i am worried that will drive him to her. I would like to get more opinions on it first whether people have been in this position themselves and how it turned out. Or if someone can shed light on his thoughts. I must admit after posting here it has concerned me more.
AverageCat Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 As I said, I have been on the same exact position. Talk to him about it. Calmly, confidently with no threaten, but convey to him that this is VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOUR TRUST, which we all know is essential in a relationship. Ask him to open up to you on exactly what he was thinking and why he was creeping on her now more than before. See his answer. If he can't communicate with you exactly what's going on in his mind then you guys have a problem... I did the above and my gf pretty much told me exactly what was going on in her mind and it made me calmer since I felt it was reasonable.
Author hopefulinlove Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 (edited) Okay well I took your advice and bought up our relationship, he said he was feeling really good about us and I mentioned his feelings for her or any regrets and he said his feelings haven't changed and that he doesn't regret his decision at all - he didn't go into much detail though. But I didn't want to barter him about it. When we are together everything is fine, we have a great time and we feel like an amazing couple. I just wish these lingering insecurities would go away :/ I should probably add as well that I don't have a facebook anymore. My friend told me about the tool of finding who he is searching for when I mentioned his ex trying to get in touch with him. He doesn't know I know how to access that information - he probably doesn't even know how to access it himself. I don't want him to feel overwhelmed by me or anything. I also noticed he doesn't have 'in a relationship' on there as others do. But I put that down to their mutual friends? Or him not looking bad going in a relationship so soon after their break up? Edited July 3, 2013 by hopefulinlove
Author hopefulinlove Posted July 13, 2013 Author Posted July 13, 2013 Ok guys.. since I last wrote in here I vowed to not look again. But today when he left his laptop and facebook open I couldn't resist - and he has searched for her twice again since I last posted (on 4th July and 11th July) That totals 5 times in the last 2.5 weeks - is that odd?
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