ireneypoo Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Yesterday, my boyfriend and I had a huge fight. Well, in our case it was huge considering we had never had a fight before. We have been going out for 4 months. After our fight, we told each other our mistakes, and how we would try to improve later on. In all, I think we have resolved it. However, I feel as if there are still some tension between us. This is normal right? He said "morning" to me first, but before our fight, it would be "morning babe <3." In a way, he was cold towards me. No, the fight was not one sided, we admitted for both of us to be in the wrong. I know things can't go back to the ways things were so quick, as it has only been a day, but will it eventually smooth over? Should I also act cold towards him, or try and say sweet stuff to him again? I don't want to be cold. Also, when he texts and I text back, he gives a few words answers, in which I can't exactly respond back to. For example, he told me that the weather channel warned there was gonna be a flash flood today. I asked "Really? It's going to rain that hard?! I didn't know that! Thankfully I didn't go out today!" He responded an hour later saying, "Yeah, but I think it's cleared up." How do you respond to that? All I could think of was "Oh okay that's good then" Should I be worried? Or should I make the effort and try to communicate? What should I do? Maybe time is what we need? I'm not very good at this, being that this is my first fight with him and I'm unsure how to handle this. :/
pteromom Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I think you need to be completely honest with him... "I feel really awkward and tense after our fight and I love you and want things to be back to normal. Do you think we solved it, or is there anything else we need to talk about?" See what he says. Be loving and kind and sweet. It sounds like you guys resolved it right, and now you just need reassurance that everything is OK. So get it. 3
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Welcome to a relationship. You can't expect things to bounce back so quick, if it was a big fight he is going to need to cool down. He is talking to you though, that's a good thing, just give him some space. Believe it or not, things may have been cleared up, but that doesn't mean things go right back to normal.
NJtoDC Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I'm in the same spot as you. I feel like I just had a rocky week in my newer relationship. I worry whether we are ok or not. But I decided to try and stop worrying and over analyzing things. If I don't let it go and move on as normal (even if it feels awkward for a moment), assuming we're cool, I could exasperate a problem that is not there- beating a dead horse. By beating a dead horse I could create a self-fulfilling prophecy- causing more aggravation. I know how I can be so I want to do my best not to be clingy and insecure. All is probably well, and if it isn't? Being clingy and insecure, and harping on the issue won't fix it I think. So what I am doing, and perhaps you'd want to do as well, is try to back off. I'm trying to relate to him as I would any other time, making a point to have lighthearted, pleasant conversation after a week of heavy and frustrating talks at my house. If my assumption is right my BF (and possibly yours) is totally over it and moved on, and the key to returning to normal is my treating things as normal. But I imagine the men would have some good insight. I feel your pain! Best of luck.
tbf Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Make up sex to reconnect through intimacy, if his language of love is physical touch. I wouldn't push the discussion any further. Sometimes you can push someone away even further by talking something to death. 2
na49 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 As a guy, I know that when my girlfriend and I fight, I am still a little ticked off even after we have cleared the air. This has everything to do with me and nothing to do with her. I'm over whatever the issue was, but I'm a little bothered by how it happened and I go over in my head if it could have been avoided. While doing this, I don't put on a fake smile and act like I'm happy, so I give one word answers and come off a little "cold". I don't just flip a switch and go back to normal. I gradually move back to normal with a little time. Eventually I do get over it, usually a day later and my girlfriend and I are back to smothering love all over each other.
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