Harradin Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I apologise if this may seem like a stupid question, but I've never been on a dating site or anything! I always thought of them to be a bit silly because they seem like a "forced" thing where you go meet someone for dinner and it sounds horribly awkward as you try to get to know someone who you might date etc. My friend joined one and he's had one person message him and he's tried sending messages to all the hot ones but they seem way out of his league . Considering I'm quite shy and a dinner date to me sounds like a nightmare from hell it sorta doesn't seem worth it to me. But considering I've been single for about 8 months (I was heartbroken quite badly in my previous relationship hence why I've not been interested in relationships) I should probably start getting back out there again! But I'm curious to know whether they are worth it and whether I could avoid the "awkward dinner date", I said before I'm quite shy so I would want to do something (ie some sort of activity) that would get me quite chatty . Any input would be cool, I'm not interested in ones that you pay for or anything!
sillyanswer Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 But I'm curious to know whether they are worth it and whether I could avoid the "awkward dinner date", I said before I'm quite shy so I would want to do something (ie some sort of activity) that would get me quite chatty . There's a 100-page thread at the top of the forum with everything you need to know (and more besides) about online dating. I think they are worth it, and you don't have to have dinner with anybody if that's not your thing. You could even say that in your profile so that people who like your pics have an idea of what sort of thing you want to do for a date. 2
underwater2010 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 If you are female....be prepared to do some research. I would even begin a date by checking for the signs of a recently removed wedding rings. Also be prepared for a ton of penis pics. If you are male.....please realize that a majority of females on the sites are trying to get you to spend money on the sex sites. I recommend finding people on your own through friends/family, church, activities etc. 1
happywithlife Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I met someone wonderful on a dating site. We've been together for 6 months now. It was a paid site, so I can't speak of the free sites. Yes, I did go on plenty of dates in which the person was only interested in a casual, sexual relationship and not potential long-term partnerships/relationship situation. I went on awkward dates, but fun ones as well. And yes, I got my fair share of penis pics - and learned quickly not to give my number out until after I met the person! Things I learned: 1. Don't spend too much time chatting online. Set something up in person rather quickly. You might have great "chemistry" in emails and not click at all in person so why invest in a virtual relationship. 2. Realize you won't meet "the one" right off the bat. You don't know these people. You are going on a date to see if you want to get to know them and possibly form a relationship. One or two "dates" does not equal a relationship. They are still a stranger. 3. Meet in a public place and plan something short, inexpensive, and fun. Can be coffee, a lunch date, min-golf, etc. Have a back-up plan, if you end up really liking the person to extend the date. But, if you don't click you don't have to sit through a long, expensive dinner. 4. Keep yourself safe. Meet in a public place. Let someone know where you will be during the date. Don't share too much info off the bat. The person is a stranger, no matter how much you've chatted online. 5. Set up guidelines for you before starting. Are you ok with a LDR? Are you ok w/ a FWB situation? How quickly do you want the relationship to become physical? And then stick with them. Its easy to be sidetracked and then you won't find what you are looking for. 6. Remember to have fun! It's not a race, a mail-order bride situation, etc. Its a way to meet new people. Many of whom you won't want to see again. Doesn't mean you're bad at dating - it just means you weren't compatible. Some you would rather be friends with or maybe introduce to one of your friends for them to date! And some you like as a person but you don't want to date them. 7. And finally, be a good communicator. I don't mean text constantly. But, if you don't see a future with someone, let them know that you don't think its working. Don't just stop responding to correspondence. That's inconsiderate. I know "rejecting" someone can be hard. But if you've only met them once or twice a simple email or text will do. Good luck! 1
Casablanca Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 If you are female....be prepared to do some research. I would even begin a date by checking for the signs of a recently removed wedding rings. Also be prepared for a ton of penis pics. If you are male.....please realize that a majority of females on the sites are trying to get you to spend money on the sex sites. I recommend finding people on your own through friends/family, church, activities etc. I wouldnt listen to any of this...I havent heard much of people getting penis pics, but I have heard some very suggestive and out right sexual messages...but there are good men out there, you'll probably get some just junk mail, but you'll get some quality ones too...especially on a pay site if you choose one I am a male and never once has anyone ever tried to get me to go to a sex site
soccerrprp Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I wouldnt listen to any of this...I havent heard much of people getting penis pics, but I have heard some very suggestive and out right sexual messages...but there are good men out there, you'll probably get some just junk mail, but you'll get some quality ones too...especially on a pay site if you choose one I am a male and never once has anyone ever tried to get me to go to a sex site I'm with Casa here. People who have had terrible experiences (or none at all as a result) tend to paint one single, broad "woe is me OLD is satan's creation" attitude towards OLD. Is it worth it? I have met a number of attractive, decent and sweet women from them. So, for the most part, I would say yes. Everyone's experiences are different and so will yours. So many factors....
Casablanca Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I'm with Casa here. People who have had terrible experiences (or none at all as a result) tend to paint one single, broad "woe is me OLD is satan's creation" attitude towards OLD. Is it worth it? I have met a number of attractive, decent and sweet women from them. So, for the most part, I would say yes. Everyone's experiences are different and so will yours. So many factors.... My same experience as well
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