disconcertainly Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Every one knows relationships are hard work on both ends. My boyfriend recently made the statement "its not necessary". Could you imagine what would happen if in a relationship you on did the necessary. It would go the birds really fast. I suppose the thing I hate most about my relationship with my current boyfriend is that he only does the necessary and its my fault b/c I let him. I just need to vent a little. I guess maybe I should start only doing the necessary which means no BJ's, No anal, no cooking, no cleaning, no cuddling, b/c I guess thats not necessary. I guess I am one of these girls who does not care if you take me out all the time or spend lots of $$$ on me even though thats really great the little simple things mean more.( Like surprise honey I cooked you supper or I thought I would rub your back or just send flowers for no reason just b/c) perhaps I am dreaming and only in fairytale land does that happen!) Any Advice here would be great. I try to talk to him about this but he never listens or if he does he just changes the subject and then every thing is my fault. I am just so frustrated here. Guys any advice from you would be great as well. One more thing just think if you were always a giver and your partner was always a taker...just think how yuk you would feel some times about the relationship. I love my boyfriend a ton and don't want to be without him. I just wish he would wake up and realixe whats going on here.
Karina Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 MY boyfriend/baby daddy/husband is kinda of one of those guys who if he does a little ITS ALOT!. His excuse for not doing anything is that he does EVERYTHING which only includes WORKING. Now if thats everything than dear god I'm doing just a bit to much. SINCE i also WORK, cook, clean, worry, care, and am always on top of things. I LIKE living an ORGANIZED life. and the only things that count for me are the LITTLE THINGS, which are to much for him to do. HE DOES care about me, loves me, and works hard for me, BUT SHYT so do I. He's very sexist and feels since I'm a WOMAN he doesn't need to do anything else but what he does. AT this very second he's stuck to the play station playing basketball. THAT he does make sure he stays on top of. IM CONFUSED about what i should do about our situation. ITS been 4yrs. I don't think leaving him would make much of a difference since I'm sure the next person i meet would not only be just like him but probably even worse. I LOVE HIM and we've been through alot. but when is enough, ENOUGH? Maybe you could help me out since we seem to be stuck in kinda of OF the same predicament
Author disconcertainly Posted October 18, 2004 Author Posted October 18, 2004 I am just as lost as you! I love him alot and would do anything for him. I am just so confused. I know that I could find someone else but I am in love with him and do not want anything else. I suppose I just need to learn to deal with it. I just get so upset some times when I try so hard to do special things for him and all I get is "oooooohhhh ugh well we can go to dinner". Maybe what I am looking for is that guy who can remember what its like to spice it up like he did at first. I have tried every way I know how to make him as happy as he could be. Perhaps I am the one with the problem...I am the one with the complaint. EUGH I DON'T KNOW I JUST WANT TO PULL MY HAIR OUT AND SCREAM!!
Author disconcertainly Posted October 24, 2004 Author Posted October 24, 2004 Guys...Iam going crazy!!! Any Advice?
moimeme Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 Go to <URL removed> and read the section about sharing household responsibilities. See if the bf will read it too.
Odradek Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 I don't wanna be a downer, but I've been there and done that, and that didn't end well. It was just liek that for me with my last gf, I was the one having all the details and performing all of those random acts of kindness you perform when you're in love. She didn't return the favor, and to my best knowledge, she didn't even really care, which was very frustrating. Then I talked to her about it and she did the not listening-changin the subject-agreeing to get out of the way thing for sometime. After a while, I guess she started thinking of me as too needy and clingy, so she dumped me. Not that the same applies to you (you're the woman, so I guess it's different), but that's my experience. Make of it what you see fit.
Odradek Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 And to be honest, looking back I realize that breakin' it off myself the minute I saw she wasn't willing to compromise or work to make it better would've spared me a lot of suffering, and also some of my pride. Again, a humble opinion.
Recommended Posts