Ex-boyfriend wrote he's missing me and thinking about me. Is he after sex?

[Kaiyah]

My ex-boyfriend ended the relationship nearly three months ago claiming he couldn't deal with us anymore. All the arguing had taken it's toll and he said he no longer cared. He said there was no one else.

It didn't help we were long distance and there was no trust. We argued about him silencing his phone when visiting me and even hiding it on occasions. Also making sexy comments to other women on fb. His ex-ex girlfriend lives near him and I know he meets her regularly and asks her for advice all the time. The thing is she cheated on him and he was heartbroken and their relationship ended although they tried counselling.

I've had a feeling for months he was cheating as he was distant, argumentative, screamed at me when I suggested visiting him, but I had no proof. He was happy seeing me just once per month. He denied any cheating.

After ending us, ignoring my calls and emails, he has suddenly contacted me apologising for ignoring me. He wrote he needed a break from us as it was destroying us.

He wrote he missed me terribly and thought about me all the time. He is apparently very hurt we didn't work out. I have myself gone no contact with him and didn't reply. He wrote he didn't expect a reply from me!

I love him very much but I can't help but think he left me for someone else and I would never take him back, if this is the case.

Is he trying to resume contact to try and make amends? Maybe I am wrong and he is just seeking closure and trying to overcome his guilt?

Edited July 1, 2013 by Kaiyah
spelling errors and added extra information

[athousandquestions]

I don't know if he's after sex specifically, but I don't think you should reply.

 

No matter what he wants (it could be sex, it could be the ego boost that you're still hung up on him, or emotional support) he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I think he's trying to ease his guilt. If he's "so sorry" you didn't work out, you'd have thought he would put more effort into the relationship than seeing you once a month and possibly cheating on you.

[Legatus]

I think he finally came to the conclusion that he was wrong but he should have done the apologizing part long time ago..

 

I would be suspicious if I were you. You don't know if that's not just another game, maybe he doesn't have anyone and suddenly remembered "oh right, there's one girl that surely will take me back". Be strong!

[CaliBabe]

He is trying to alleviate his guilt after treating you so horribly. Don't help him feel better. Let him be.

[Kaiyah]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post. I suppose I was seeking assurance that by sustaining No Contact, I am now thinking about my emotional health and healing. He probably is feeling guilty for treating me badly, but from what I have known about him in the past few months he shows no remorse for his negative actions. He used to smirk at me a lot.

 

For a man to say "I no longer care", "I don't want to be in a relationship with you" and now write to me telling me "miss you terribly" and "think about you everyday". I smell a cheater. Where has he been the past three months??????

 

No contact it is. I hope I can keep this up!

 

Thanks again everyone.

[Inviv_girl]

Don't make him feel better by replying to that breadcrumb. He probably think you will take him back right away whenever he wants! F-k him! leave him and move on

[aloneinaz]

I totally agree with everyone here. Ignore him, plain and simple. You're worried about you, your mental well being, not the feelings of a dick head who was cheating on you.

 

I'd bet money he was with another person, it ended and he got lonely and though he could real you back in again. F-that..

 

Give him permanent silence.. that's his reward for being such a classy guy while he "allegedly" loved you.

[Kaiyah]

Ok, so I know I should just forget about him. But like so many others hurt, I am too dissecting his every word and looking for a meaning. Maybe I like punishing myself!

 

This is what he wrote to me recently:

 

I've waitied sometime before writing to you. I don't expect a reply. Now the dust has settled I wanted to say few things. I'm sorry I didnt reply to your text or answer your calls since we last communicated six weeks ago. I didn't intend to hurt you or cause you pain, although I think it did. I felt I needed to break the problem we had found ourselves in. It was killing me and us. I am extremely hurt we didn't work out. I think about you every day. I miss you terribly.

 

I am hurt you couldnt be what I needed you to be. I am hurt I couldn't be what you needed me to be. I know this much we loved and desired each other very much and my attraction to you makes it difficult to get over.

 

I hope you happy with life and getting on ok. I am ok. Nothing much to write. I am very busy with work. Next weekend and the weekend after, I am going sailing...

 

Love from ...(his name) x

[Kaiyah]

Hi all

 

Somebody please give be a feedback on the email I received from my ex. See above. I am looking for answers.

 

Thanks

[youcanever]

My ex-boyfriend ended the relationship nearly three months ago claiming he couldn't deal with us anymore. All the arguing had taken it's toll and he said he no longer cared. He said there was no one else.

It didn't help we were long distance and there was no trust. We argued about him silencing his phone when visiting me and even hiding it on occasions. Also making sexy comments to other women on fb. His ex-ex girlfriend lives near him and I know he meets her regularly and asks her for advice all the time. The thing is she cheated on him and he was heartbroken and their relationship ended although they tried counselling.

I've had a feeling for months he was cheating as he was distant, argumentative, screamed at me when I suggested visiting him, but I had no proof. He was happy seeing me just once per month. He denied any cheating.

After ending us, ignoring my calls and emails, he has suddenly contacted me apologising for ignoring me. He wrote he needed a break from us as it was destroying us.

He wrote he missed me terribly and thought about me all the time. He is apparently very hurt we didn't work out. I have myself gone no contact with him and didn't reply. He wrote he didn't expect a reply from me!

I love him very much but I can't help but think he left me for someone else and I would never take him back, if this is the case.

Is he trying to resume contact to try and make amends? Maybe I am wrong and he is just seeking closure and trying to overcome his guilt?

 

It doesn't matter if he is after sex, or after loving you again or after giving you a million dollar.

 

Do not reply, do not care, move on..

 

Yes it is hard but HE IS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH YOU..

 

So who cares?

[youcanever]

Ok, so I know I should just forget about him. But like so many others hurt, I am too dissecting his every word and looking for a meaning. Maybe I like punishing myself!

 

This is what he wrote to me recently:

 

I've waitied sometime before writing to you. I don't expect a reply. Now the dust has settled I wanted to say few things. I'm sorry I didnt reply to your text or answer your calls since we last communicated six weeks ago. I didn't intend to hurt you or cause you pain, although I think it did. I felt I needed to break the problem we had found ourselves in. It was killing me and us. I am extremely hurt we didn't work out. I think about you every day. I miss you terribly.

 

I am hurt you couldnt be what I needed you to be. I am hurt I couldn't be what you needed me to be. I know this much we loved and desired each other very much and my attraction to you makes it difficult to get over.

 

I hope you happy with life and getting on ok. I am ok. Nothing much to write. I am very busy with work. Next weekend and the weekend after, I am going sailing...

 

Love from ...(his name) x

 

Please tell me you haven't replied to his e-mail.

 

He is just relaxing his mind and moving on. Also he is hoping you contact him again so he can string you all along again.

 

He is so busy from work, also going sailing.. Awesome for him.. But what is the point writing that to you? Also writing he is okay?

 

I did the same **** to my first love. It was just breakcrumbs and relaxing my mind like "I did my best, I even wrote her an email, she didn't reply"

 

DO NOT FALL FOR THIS..

[Kaiyah]

No, I didn't reply to him. I feel uncomfortable, haven't seen him or spoken to him for so long. I was curious by his email and it made me angry, opened up old wounds.

[CarrieT]

it made me angry, opened up old wounds.

Hold on to the anger and DO NOT REPLY.

 

As soon as you do, it will re-open the wounds even further and the hurt will only continue.

[simplyamazing]

Ok, so I know I should just forget about him. But like so many others hurt, I am too dissecting his every word and looking for a meaning. Maybe I like punishing myself!

 

This is what he wrote to me recently:

 

I've waitied sometime before writing to you. I don't expect a reply. Now the dust has settled I wanted to say few things. I'm sorry I didnt reply to your text or answer your calls since we last communicated six weeks ago. I didn't intend to hurt you or cause you pain, although I think it did. I felt I needed to break the problem we had found ourselves in. It was killing me and us. I am extremely hurt we didn't work out. I think about you every day. I miss you terribly.

 

I am hurt you couldnt be what I needed you to be. I am hurt I couldn't be what you needed me to be. I know this much we loved and desired each other very much and my attraction to you makes it difficult to get over.

 

I hope you happy with life and getting on ok. I am ok. Nothing much to write. I am very busy with work. Next weekend and the weekend after, I am going sailing...

 

Love from ...(his name) x

 

That's a bull**** line if I ever saw one. I would continue to not be what he needs. Ignore.