Jadedbyluv Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I was dating a guy who I met on an online dating website. He told me that he wasn't looking for a relationship. He made that clear because of his finances and recent divorce. I was fine with that and thought I could still be friends with him. Recently, I got back on the same website and saw his profile. It says he is looking for a relationship and he was recently active. I feel like he kept me around as an option until something better came along. I don't know if I should say anything to him. I thought I could be friends but now I don't know because I don't want to be friends with someone who I feel lied about what they wanted. Should I say anything to him?
soccerrprp Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 No need to say anything. Just move on. This is the one of the most serious misgivings of OLD! The GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). I could be wrong, but find men are more prone to this. If you are going to OLD, you need to be aware that this is going to happen. It's part of the game, unfortunate nature of OLD (dating in general, really). I don't think you want to be friends with this guy, do you?
Author Jadedbyluv Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 I don't know why we need to be friends.
Lansing Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Was this a guy you had sex with? If it then maybe he was being honest at the time but things have changed since. If you were having sex with him maybe it was his way to let you down "easy" because he didn't feel the relationship connection. Did he actually treat you as a friend, did you hand out in real life or was he just a texting/online friend? I tried online dating years ago and started chatting with a girl I was interesting in but quickly realized she wasn't my type and I made it clear we were talking just as friends. I still pursued other girls. We are still friends now and I am still single
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 It's a waste of your time to say anything to him...he was lying to you the first time and he's lying again...very likely still not looking for a relationship however trying to attract women that are looking or one to expand his options...as we all know that's what many women are looking for. Plus he very likely just wanted to sleep with you with no strings as many men do, that's the "friends" proposition. So yes you were an option, read the writing on the wall and walk away, or just be lied to/manipulated, you're not going to get an honest answer...the vast majority of men aren't honest about those things, now if they tell you "I just want to have sex with you, nothing more"...now that wouldn't be a lie coming from a man.
RedRobin Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) OP, take it as common wisdom that just about every man doing OLD says they are looking for a relationship. Of course, what they aren't telling you, is that they are looking for a relationship with someone who looks like a supermodel, is financially independent, and who agrees to let him sleep with as many other women as he can fit into his schedule. ha ha That is the 'fantasy' and why most of them are there... to play the lottery at something they'd never have a snowballs chance in hell of reeling in IRL. That said, a lot of women do the same, in their own way... As to your question... no, don't bother with him. People who can't be consistent, don't know what they want, or feel the need to lie about relationship goals are big time wasters. Not worth even one more minute of your time. Edited July 1, 2013 by RedRobin
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