The Ego and The Breakup

[fiftyofsomethin]

Hey guys,

 

After about a two-week-long vacation from this forum, I decided to make a post about something I've sort of discovered.

 

I've come to the realization that almost everything that bothers me about my breakup or makes it hard to move on during the breakup is based on my ego, my fear of getting it hurt, my desire to build it up, or break down my ex's ego.

 

I've found that since I found out my ex is dating a new guy (or very close to it), I have had fewer days of sadness come over me, mostly because I outright unfollowed them/deleted them on every social media thing I used to follow them on. However, of course, their information is going to eventually get to me through one way or another because of social media's habit of showing you everything friends-of-friends are doing.

 

And the most annoying part of all of this is my desire to "win" the breakup. Every time I see her out having fun with people, specifically her new man-friend, I feel challenged to go out and have MORE fun or to hang out with MORE girls or HOTTER girls.

 

And of course whenever I see this one mutual friend we had who used to hang out with me and my ex all the time when we were together liking/favoriting/sharing everything from those two, and completely ignoring things I post altogether, and actually just ignoring texts I send, I get nostalgic/sad about what was, all because my ego feels that I should have something better than what I have right now.

 

Now of course, I suppose it's natural that seeing my ex having more fun with a new guy than I had with her would make any guy upset/sad. But that's unfortunately not comforting enough for me. Nor is the fact that she seemingly is more attractive with every picture that shows up online. She apparently is losing some weight and working out. However, her new guy is not nearly as attractive as me, he is slightly more muscular, however his face has been described by some as "rabbit-like", take that as you will.

 

But still, the fact that I am seeing him slowly falling into the hole that I left in her life so exactly is like watching the company you just got fired from training the next guy to take your spot. He is hanging with her and her friends like I used to do, he is doing everything on social media with her that I used to do and all that jazz. Even simply seeing an Instagram post from her sister of their brother playing the piano, something I used to do with him, sort of sent me over the edge.

 

Like, I know that she wasn't that special, but every time I see something regarding her, I have this internal argument of whether I should still miss her or not, as if it should matter. I just need to stop worrying about her, whether she was a loss or not.

 

If you haven't gotten the hint already, my ego has taken a beating.

 

So I have discovered that in a breakup, it's not "getting over" your ex so much as repairing your ego that will get you back on track.

 

I have found that simply forgetting about the whole thing and focusing on the moment and my own life helps, however that of course won't last for long. It lasts a day or two at most.

 

 

 

I suppose I wrote this indeed to help others, but also in a way to reach out for advice that others have to add. How does one stop feeling the drive to "win" a breakup and just realize that he is running an entirely different race than his ex.

[mtnbiker3000]

I suppose I wrote this indeed to help others, but also in a way to reach out for advice that others have to add. How does one stop feeling the drive to "win" a breakup and just realize that he is running an entirely different race than his ex.

 

Agreed. If you've seen any of my posts, I have stated several times that the single hardest thing for me to cope with is the rejection. And, my ego has been thoroughly smashed in general as well. I will say that strict NC is helping me move on and rebuild.

 

Have you ever thought about taking a hiatus from social media until you start to rebuild yours? I have no social media accounts, and I am sure that is a huge help.

 

Oh, and it's best to forget about 'racing' the ex. She's a woman. They can always win this race. Always!! Again, if you cut all ties, including social media, this will help, as you won't know what she is up to...

[fiftyofsomethin]

Agreed. If you've seen any of my posts, I have stated several times that the single hardest thing for me to cope with is the rejection. And, my ego has been thoroughly smashed in general as well. I will say that strict NC is helping me move on and rebuild.

 

Have you ever thought about taking a hiatus from social media until you start to rebuild yours? I have no social media accounts, and I am sure that is a huge help.

 

Oh, and it's best to forget about 'racing' the ex. She's a woman. They can always win this race. Always!! Again, if you cut all ties, including social media, this will help, as you won't know what she is up to...

 

Oh I have actually already cut social ties, it's just unfortunately the friends of friends that cause things to show up.

 

But I definitely agree.

 

I mean, it's the fact that every time I think of her, I just imagine her texting this guy nonstop in the way we used to, and hanging out with him how we used to, and generally doing well.

 

I just want to be able to enjoy my own life without worrying about hers. She does, after all, have no effect on mine unless I allow her to by thinking about her all the time.

[groupergirl]

Hey guys,

 

After about a two-week-long vacation from this forum, I decided to make a post about something I've sort of discovered.

 

I've come to the realization that almost everything that bothers me about my breakup or makes it hard to move on during the breakup is based on my ego, my fear of getting it hurt, my desire to build it up, or break down my ex's ego.

 

I've found that since I found out my ex is dating a new guy (or very close to it), I have had fewer days of sadness come over me, mostly because I outright unfollowed them/deleted them on every social media thing I used to follow them on. However, of course, their information is going to eventually get to me through one way or another because of social media's habit of showing you everything friends-of-friends are doing.

 

And the most annoying part of all of this is my desire to "win" the breakup. Every time I see her out having fun with people, specifically her new man-friend, I feel challenged to go out and have MORE fun or to hang out with MORE girls or HOTTER girls.

 

And of course whenever I see this one mutual friend we had who used to hang out with me and my ex all the time when we were together liking/favoriting/sharing everything from those two, and completely ignoring things I post altogether, and actually just ignoring texts I send, I get nostalgic/sad about what was, all because my ego feels that I should have something better than what I have right now.

 

Now of course, I suppose it's natural that seeing my ex having more fun with a new guy than I had with her would make any guy upset/sad. But that's unfortunately not comforting enough for me. Nor is the fact that she seemingly is more attractive with every picture that shows up online. She apparently is losing some weight and working out. However, her new guy is not nearly as attractive as me, he is slightly more muscular, however his face has been described by some as "rabbit-like", take that as you will.

 

But still, the fact that I am seeing him slowly falling into the hole that I left in her life so exactly is like watching the company you just got fired from training the next guy to take your spot. He is hanging with her and her friends like I used to do, he is doing everything on social media with her that I used to do and all that jazz. Even simply seeing an Instagram post from her sister of their brother playing the piano, something I used to do with him, sort of sent me over the edge.

 

Like, I know that she wasn't that special, but every time I see something regarding her, I have this internal argument of whether I should still miss her or not, as if it should matter. I just need to stop worrying about her, whether she was a loss or not.

 

If you haven't gotten the hint already, my ego has taken a beating.

 

So I have discovered that in a breakup, it's not "getting over" your ex so much as repairing your ego that will get you back on track.

 

I have found that simply forgetting about the whole thing and focusing on the moment and my own life helps, however that of course won't last for long. It lasts a day or two at most.

 

 

 

I suppose I wrote this indeed to help others, but also in a way to reach out for advice that others have to add. How does one stop feeling the drive to "win" a breakup and just realize that he is running an entirely different race than his ex.

 

You have helped me realize the samething. I just cannot express myself as well as you.

 

I see my ex picking up with his new girlfriend - it is like a movie I have seen twice. He took her to the beach and then the next weekend to his moms- (the same exact thing with me).

 

I see myself trying to "win" the situation when I should be thanking my lucky stars that it is over. I know in my heart that we are different type of people. I wasnt getting as much as I was giving. I know this will happen to the new girl. She is younger and more submissive so she is either going to be very happy or very sad and no where in between.

 

I am soo very happy to read what you wrote and search myself for the same.

 

I just really want to move on - no more moping about feeling sorry for myself and wanting to win.

 

I already did win.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Okay.

 

I don't know what it is. But damn. Every single time I see something, specifically a Vine post with her in it (Vine is basically like Instagram with video, now it's kinda dying that Instagram added video, but that's irrelevant to the story) and it's always something where she is having fun with this one guy, his friends, her friends, whatever, and she is always having a blast.

 

This is EXACTLY what we used to do. Why does it bother me so damn much to see this? Okay, I guess I already know the answer to that. I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. I'm more jealous than I've ever been. I am imagining her texting, snapchatting, hanging with, and more than likely dating this kid now. And that's exactly what we did. Why can I not just be happy for her and move on with my own life?

 

I want so badly to just treat her and him like any other couple, and I have been able to for the most part do that. However, it's still unfortunately impossible to block every story and post about her and her new interest from social media due to retweets, shares, mentions, and whatnot. Like for example her best friend who also happens to be a prior slight romantic interest of mine who I met my ex through posted a vine video from a few hours ago of the guy driving and her in the passenger seat just dancing while they were driving.

 

The joy they appeared to be having was quite honestly debilitating. But the most painful part to me at the moment is that our mutual friend, the one I met my ex through, used to be very good friends with me, even after the breakup, but now, since my ex has met this guy, we have had absolutely no contact. She doesn't even do small things that are essentially meaningless that she used to do like "like" and "favorite" things on social media.

 

I mean, it's just painful to see people simply pack up and leave your life and move onto someone else.

 

As I said before, it's mostly my ego that is going to town with this. I somehow feel like "less" of a person because I couldn't keep my ex interested or something. Or maybe because I didn't move on as fast as she did, or I didn't find a girl as fast as she found a guy.

 

Now of course, and this is more than likely, she is just rushing into this "relationship" because she was sort of desperate as I am. I don't see much, if any, chemistry between them. And with college at the end of summer, they likely wont stay together. But still, the pain is there. The fact that I have lost some very important friends.

 

In fact, her friend, my friend, played a huge role in getting me to where I am right now. She helped me through my previous depression and anxiety. She brought me out of my shell. She got me into expressing myself more through what I wear. She taught me to never care what people think. She is honestly probably one of the most important people to have been in my life. It's a really big shame she isn't in it any longer. Or at least she appears to not want to be in it for one reason or another.

 

 

Once again, any support is greatly appreciated. I wish all of you luck in your emotional endeavors as well. Stay strong, stay strong.

[denxnis]

Hey guys,

 

After about a two-week-long vacation from this forum, I decided to make a post about something I've sort of discovered.

 

I've come to the realization that almost everything that bothers me about my breakup or makes it hard to move on during the breakup is based on my ego, my fear of getting it hurt, my desire to build it up, or break down my ex's ego.

 

I've found that since I found out my ex is dating a new guy (or very close to it), I have had fewer days of sadness come over me, mostly because I outright unfollowed them/deleted them on every social media thing I used to follow them on. However, of course, their information is going to eventually get to me through one way or another because of social media's habit of showing you everything friends-of-friends are doing.

 

And the most annoying part of all of this is my desire to "win" the breakup. Every time I see her out having fun with people, specifically her new man-friend, I feel challenged to go out and have MORE fun or to hang out with MORE girls or HOTTER girls.

 

And of course whenever I see this one mutual friend we had who used to hang out with me and my ex all the time when we were together liking/favoriting/sharing everything from those two, and completely ignoring things I post altogether, and actually just ignoring texts I send, I get nostalgic/sad about what was, all because my ego feels that I should have something better than what I have right now.

 

Now of course, I suppose it's natural that seeing my ex having more fun with a new guy than I had with her would make any guy upset/sad. But that's unfortunately not comforting enough for me. Nor is the fact that she seemingly is more attractive with every picture that shows up online. She apparently is losing some weight and working out. However, her new guy is not nearly as attractive as me, he is slightly more muscular, however his face has been described by some as "rabbit-like", take that as you will.

 

But still, the fact that I am seeing him slowly falling into the hole that I left in her life so exactly is like watching the company you just got fired from training the next guy to take your spot. He is hanging with her and her friends like I used to do, he is doing everything on social media with her that I used to do and all that jazz. Even simply seeing an Instagram post from her sister of their brother playing the piano, something I used to do with him, sort of sent me over the edge.

 

Like, I know that she wasn't that special, but every time I see something regarding her, I have this internal argument of whether I should still miss her or not, as if it should matter. I just need to stop worrying about her, whether she was a loss or not.

 

If you haven't gotten the hint already, my ego has taken a beating.

 

So I have discovered that in a breakup, it's not "getting over" your ex so much as repairing your ego that will get you back on track.

 

I have found that simply forgetting about the whole thing and focusing on the moment and my own life helps, however that of course won't last for long. It lasts a day or two at most.

 

 

 

I suppose I wrote this indeed to help others, but also in a way to reach out for advice that others have to add. How does one stop feeling the drive to "win" a breakup and just realize that he is running an entirely different race than his ex.

 

Man it's crazy reading this, my situation was very similar. My ex started dating a guy right after we broke-up and I noticed that their relationship was/is nearly identical to the way ours started out... After everything I can honestly say she is the same person she was when I met her 6 something odd years ago and I am a much better and independent person because of our break-up.

 

We didn't bury ourselves in a new relationship, instead we evolved and became better people from it.

 

I don't think your drive to "win" will ever go away until you are happily married; on the upside you can use that drive to motivate you at your work or even the gym.

 

Cheer buddy.

[groupergirl]

I am trying to remind myself that my ex will carry the same issues to the next girl. It just blew me away that he was most likely seeing her before we broke up, well now I know that is why we broke up or at least the straw that broke the camels back.

 

Do you ever have really good days, take for example yesterday - I am what I consider a very attractive woman. I dressed up for work in a nice skirt, I walked with such self esteem and looked great. A women can tell these things - please don't take me as bragging. Anyway yesterday was a good day for me but today not so great. I want this hot and cold stuff to go away. I know this guy has issues and he will take them to her and it is not going to be good. Why is my ego so fragile? We all get dumped in life or rejected, it is a part of life. I know this guy has serious issues and I should feel lucky as my mom would put it.

 

I think I have to forgive myself for not putting myself first, for not thinking I was worthy enough for someone that could treat me much better, I think that is what bothers me the most. So I have work to do on my inner self.

 

Sorry for the ramble, it is just not a good day today!

[Legatus]

Sometimes it's good to read that people share your pain through similar story.

 

I also realized that what upset me the most wasn't the fact that I was dumped for another guy, even though she said very strongly that no "switch" had taken place, but it's irrelevant - what upset me was the fact that should could jump into another relationship straight away without so much as blink, or remorse, or regard to our relationship..

 

I read about this and apparently it's because if she found something that she couldn't get from me - she will move on quickly just to get it, even if it doesn't involve any romantic feelings. It does make sense. My ex said, two weeks after the break up, that she is scared of being by herself, so it's certain she would be with someone. Only recently I realized - it was her who was and still is desperate. She wanted to be independent but at the same time she is afraid to be on her own (!?).

 

You have to realize one important thing. You will be the winner in the whole situation if you just learn from it. I'm pretty sure my ex will make exactly the same mistakes. Unfortunately it will mean that I was just another guy. I hope she will understand what she's done wrong, and at least I will be able to attribute some meaning to our relationship.

 

But I don't let it eat me. What happens happens. You make sure you take time to do your own things, just because she's having more fun it doesn't mean it will last. It's best to be patient and then take the most of things when you are emotionally READY...

 

Your ego eventually will be rebuild. You gained knowledge and experience. Those two things already make you a better man. And being a better person every day is already a WIN

Edited July 4, 2013 by Legatus

[groupergirl]

Man it's crazy reading this, my situation was very similar. My ex started dating a guy right after we broke-up and I noticed that their relationship was/is nearly identical to the way ours started out... After everything I can honestly say she is the same person she was when I met her 6 something odd years ago and I am a much better and independent person because of our break-up.

 

We didn't bury ourselves in a new relationship, instead we evolved and became better people from it.

 

I don't think your drive to "win" will ever go away until you are happily married; on the upside you can use that drive to motivate you at your work or even the gym.

 

Cheer buddy.

 

I must agree, I am not sure how a person can learn and grow when they break up with you and within 5 days they are in another relationship - very telling that the person was most likely in the new relationship while still with you.

 

I love the part we didn't bury ourselves in a new relationship, instead we evolved became better people from it. One must take time when any type of relationship ends especially a romantic one.

 

I feel as though he just blinked and it was a different girl on his arm. Doing the same things. What is sad is do they understand what they have done? Do they understand they are really not moving forward they are not evolving they are just living.

 

Do they get that point? Does this type of person really think they are moving forward? Do they think the current issues they have will go away or will be different?

 

I have really concentrated on my new job, that has helped me to no end. So I am very grateful for my new job.

[groupergirl]

Okay.

 

I don't know what it is. But damn. Every single time I see something, specifically a Vine post with her in it (Vine is basically like Instagram with video, now it's kinda dying that Instagram added video, but that's irrelevant to the story) and it's always something where she is having fun with this one guy, his friends, her friends, whatever, and she is always having a blast.

 

This is EXACTLY what we used to do. Why does it bother me so damn much to see this? Okay, I guess I already know the answer to that. I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. I'm more jealous than I've ever been. I am imagining her texting, snapchatting, hanging with, and more than likely dating this kid now. And that's exactly what we did. Why can I not just be happy for her and move on with my own life?

 

I want so badly to just treat her and him like any other couple, and I have been able to for the most part do that. However, it's still unfortunately impossible to block every story and post about her and her new interest from social media due to retweets, shares, mentions, and whatnot. Like for example her best friend who also happens to be a prior slight romantic interest of mine who I met my ex through posted a vine video from a few hours ago of the guy driving and her in the passenger seat just dancing while they were driving.

 

The joy they appeared to be having was quite honestly debilitating. But the most painful part to me at the moment is that our mutual friend, the one I met my ex through, used to be very good friends with me, even after the breakup, but now, since my ex has met this guy, we have had absolutely no contact. She doesn't even do small things that are essentially meaningless that she used to do like "like" and "favorite" things on social media.

 

I mean, it's just painful to see people simply pack up and leave your life and move onto someone else.

 

As I said before, it's mostly my ego that is going to town with this. I somehow feel like "less" of a person because I couldn't keep my ex interested or something. Or maybe because I didn't move on as fast as she did, or I didn't find a girl as fast as she found a guy.

 

Now of course, and this is more than likely, she is just rushing into this "relationship" because she was sort of desperate as I am. I don't see much, if any, chemistry between them. And with college at the end of summer, they likely wont stay together. But still, the pain is there. The fact that I have lost some very important friends.

 

In fact, her friend, my friend, played a huge role in getting me to where I am right now. She helped me through my previous depression and anxiety. She brought me out of my shell. She got me into expressing myself more through what I wear. She taught me to never care what people think. She is honestly probably one of the most important people to have been in my life. It's a really big shame she isn't in it any longer. Or at least she appears to not want to be in it for one reason or another.

 

 

Once again, any support is greatly appreciated. I wish all of you luck in your emotional endeavors as well. Stay strong, stay strong.

 

I so know how you feel. But you know you must be getting stronger because you know in your heart you are growing from this. You have found who your true friends are. I am sorry that your friend is not around. Maybe your friend will come back around. Either way you sound like you have a firm grasp of the situation. It can only get better for you, the worst is over. Try your hardest to write here so you can express your feelings and get them out. You do sound like you are making progress.

 

Lots of Luck!!!

[groupergirl]

Unfortunately it will mean that I was just another guy. I hope she will understand what she's done wrong, and at least I will be able to attribute some meaning to our relationship.

 

Actually that is how I feel, just another girl. But it is not so. I truly believe she will not attribute any meaning to your relationship as I feel my ex boyfriend will not.

 

It is ok - keep telling myself about the negative in him. He is having the best time right now. He is in Love!!!!

 

I have this peaceful look to me now and I cannot explain it, it is a calm beautiful me. I wrote before that I am an attractive women, (not bragging) just very shy, I feel if we can get our inner beauty back we will be fine.

 

Get Your Inner Beauty Back!!!!!!!!!

[fiftyofsomethin]

It's so great to hear from you guys about your varying situations and how similar they are to mine. Very comforting.

 

I do also have the hot and cold days. I for example have had a pretty damned good week, I had fun with my friends, worked a bit, worked OUT a bit, overall, pretty successful.

 

And THEN (what prompted me to check this site again) just now, I saw pictures our mutual friend posted from the last week. My GOD. They truly have been spending every god forsaken day together. They were together on the 4th, they were together the days before that... And well, the real kicker that I found was that they honestly are doing what I WANTED to do in my relationship with her. Like they are going out and doing all these adventurous things, for example they somehow went up to the top of this giant silo in the middle of a farm (no idea how they got there) and just hung out on top of there for fireworks on the 4th.

 

I feel "defeated" because I see no way of matching or surpassing the level of fun and romantic-ness on my own here.

 

So honestly, they only true way to "win" a breakup is to stop worrying about what they other is doing and simply focus on your OWN life. Focus on improving yourself, your body, your situation, your group of friends, etc.

 

And most importantly, you MUST stop thinking about it as a competition altogether. You can't just keep trying and trying to "win" it and then be surprised by your lack of "progress" with every elusive status update and tweet.

 

You MUST be in the moment. And you MUST focus on building yourself up. In fact, just stop thinking about them as a big deal to you at all. You subconsciously CHOOSE to get upset about them when you see or think about these things. You wouldn't get upset about seeing some random couple together on the street would you? You shouldn't get upset when you see this person then too. They aren't important to you anymore so why worry about them?

 

Good luck, everyone. I smell a great future for all of us.

 

-Fifty

[groupergirl]

I too had a great week. Had to go out of town for business and it was a relief. I have not had him/her on my mind.

 

I too think that we just need to move forward and my support system has been really great - co-workers/mom/best friend have been there every step of the way.

 

It still hurts deeply though, very much. No one likes to be dumped and left like a dead dog on the side of the road and that is exactly how he treated me. I did learn something though, people do not change. The honeymoon is still going strong and yes they are doing everything together - his excuse was his shoulder was operated on and he had to recover. NO....he will eventually do this with her.

 

You sound so much better "50" you really do. I am so happy for you. I am staying very busy at work and really, really like and respect everyone I work with. I still miss him and I don't know why anymore just that he ripped my heart out. Raw ripping my heart out.

 

Thanks Guys!!!!

[Legatus]

I had last conversation with my ex on the day I was going on holiday. Finally she picked her things up and I could tell her some things in person with absolutely cold face. It threw her off. She then started texting me about how I changed, how different I am, that she's so confused right now and that she will "kill" herself if she hurts another person (I assume current bf). I haven't done anything in particular, I just explained what she did, and moreover said I do not want to know her because when I look into her eyes (which I was doing at the time of saying it) I can see her in bed with someone else and although this image doesn't effect me emotionally - it's still tastes bad. And that she doesn't deserve to have me in her life as she already had. It felt so good to be able to say all those things with no emotion. She cried a lot, after half an hour she left, she couldn't take it anymore (+ her ne bf got impatient hah)

 

The point is - that was the first time I had psychological advance in the whole break up. It felt good. I finally re-established my dignity.

 

I can see you are better now as well. Great news!

 

I don't miss her anymore. I miss the feeling of the good times, yes, but I know they will come again. Now I'm focusing on important things I have to do for myself, things I haven't been able to do when I was with her.

 

I'm sure you will too! Life once again will be awesome!

[fiftyofsomethin]

It's awesome to see that you guys are also doing well!

 

However, I'd like to pick your brains for a minute.

 

I just recently accidentally was shown a tweet from the guy she is seeing that reads "texting an amazing person" Which, naturally, she retweeted and favorited along with others because it's obviously her that the tweet references. (For the record, I don't follow either of them).

 

And for all of the things I tell myself and all the things I do to not let these things bother me once I've heard them, I still find myself almost short of breath and quite sickened whenever I read or hear these things about them. It automatically makes me imagine what they are doing in my head and how I wish I still was doing that.

 

I just have to sort of remind myself that this girl is not truly that attractive, she is somewhat jealous quickly, her personality was too much like mine (I don't like being with someone just like me), and also, she truly is not important to me. She truly doesn't have anything I cannot find in anyone else. She also seems to be a relationship hopper. She jumps from relationship to relationship. And she also is afraid of physical affection.

 

Anyways, with my rant out of the way... But one thing I have noticed is that I almost do not miss her as much as I miss her best friend who actually introduced me to my ex. She has ACTUALLY changed my life. She has made me more outgoing, she has brought me out of my shell, she taught me not to care what people think, she just brought so much good into my life, it's difficult not to have this person in my life anymore.

 

And actually, in general, her and my ex have actually sort of shut everyone else they know off. They met the guy my ex is talking to and his two friends at some grad party and have been apparently spending, no joke, every single day since with each other. It's quite odd. And I found this out because I was recently at a grad party and I was talking with two girls who said the same thing about those two. They just sort of... left everyone.

 

But, at the end of the day, these are all things, you and I cannot change.

 

You cannot change what people think, want, or do.

 

You must just do whatever is best for you and whatever brings you the most joy. Sometimes, you just need to let go of these things/people, and just move on with your own life.

 

I guarantee great things will come to all of us, I can see it. If you can't, I suggest reading up on the power of Mindfulness/being in the moment, and also simply not caring what others think or do. Once I figured these things out, I could tell I was on a path to happiness.

 

I personally believe this is all about happiness, what it is, where to get it, why some have it and others don't, etc.

 

It's hard sometimes, but that's just how it is. We always want more what we can't have, there are tons of quotes from everyone in history it seems like to back this up. And once we start wanting more for others instead of wanting for ourselves and just being happy with ourselves, the greater our lives will be.

 

 

Take care, everyone.

 

- Fifty

[Legatus]

Very true. It's good to hear you're doing so much better. At the time when I was still checking my ex's facrbook, pictures with her new bf did impact me greatly, my heartbeat jumped etc. But only for about six minutes. After that I would be strangely calm, all because I realized that this was actually a good thing. She was his problem now.

 

Everything gets brighter day by day. I an on holiday currently and have been having great time, with only half a day of "less then awesome" mood, but it quickly passed.

 

In the end all will be great again. I totally understand the fact that you feel sickened. I call it a "bad taste" after such person. That was my reason when I told my ex I don't want to know her.