My story

[Neko]

It is approaching the six month mark since my ex abruptly broke up with me.

 

We were together 4.5 years. We met at work and just hit it off. The first four years were amazing. I don't think amazing quite fits but it was the happiest times of my life. I finally felt I found someone I could share my life with. We had our differences but made a point never to go to bed angry at each other. Both of us had come from broken homes and were affected by it so we strived not to repeat some of our parents mistakes. We learned to communicate if one of us were unhappy so I really felt I never had to keep anything from him and vice versa. Friends loved "us" our families loved "us" and we loved each other.

 

The last six months were tough due to financial hard times. He was unable to find work so I supported him somewhat. He was unhappy with the situation but I figured we're partners and we're in this together. In the fall, he ended up finding work and things started looking up.

 

We talked of marriage quite a few times. He was against marriage; he didn't believe in the institution of it. I spoke of my fear that he just didn't want to necessarily marry me. He reassured me that wasn't the case. At this point, I'm in my early 30s, he's in his late 20s. I reconciled to the fact that I may never be married; but I had someone who I was incredibly in love with. I felt lucky.

 

We celebrated my birthday surrounded by over a dozen of our closest friends. I was never happier and he was there right by me smiling and just generally being the amazing man that he always was.

 

Four days later, I was dumped.

 

He gave me some excuse that he still had feelings for this girl he dated in high school. He had remained friends with her (which I knew and was okay with--because I trust him). That he needed to figure out his feelings; that while he might be the love of my life, I might not be his. I honestly do not remember too much of the conversation. I was, suffice to say, in a daze. The whole "cotton in my ears" shebang. I couldn't even look at him. 4.5 years of being with this man and I couldn't. I managed to keep it together until I drove off from his parents place.

 

I drove home, screaming and crying in rush hour traffic. It was not a pretty sight. I got home and saw him everywhere, in every room and started boxing everything up. Some mutual friends were godsends and got it out of my place that very night. I got text messages from everyone, including his own mother expressing her shock and dismay. No one knew it was coming. I did not eat nor sleep for four days.

 

It took me eight weeks to sleep in the bed we shared. I spent that time on the couch. I did not cook one meal. It was all I could do to remember to shower, eat something and get to work. He texted me a couple of times, asking me how I was. I'll be honest, I was cold. Not mean, just didn't want to hear from him.

 

It is approaching six months and i still have off days. I still tear up thinking about that day. I thought he was it.

 

I entertain no thoughts of getting back together with him.

[sprucegoose]

I'm so sorry to hear about your break up, but I commend you for being so strong. 6 months no contact seems like an eternity (I'm 3 months in and feel like years have gone by). Keep up the good work!