Acrimony Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 After a few months of NC my ex girlfriend (who dumped me originally) contacted me again. We have been spending a lot of intimate time together. I love her and missed her so much. But it seems we fight more than ever. And it's primarily because of how I think, because for the most part she has been good to me. She became involved with someone almost immediately after the break up (two days later), on our anniversary (even though I don't put much weight on things like that, it stung me HARD to learn this). While I know some of you might say that what happened after the break up is none of my business, and I accept that, the fact is that she is the one who contacted me - right at the point where I was finally gaining some semblance of happiness and acceptance, and crawling out of the hell I was in. Do I not deserve some disclosure and understanding of her decisions?...I guess the only decision that matters, really, is her decision to want me again. I don't know. But I can't just brush things under the rug. Either way, I pried for details and got them. Gradually. She lied about some things only to change the story later. Now I have this story, that even now I'm unsure of because she lied, and I have these graphic images I can't unsee, and it kills me. I wish I could forget, but I also want her to be honest so I can understand. I came to a decision to end things. Not because I hate her. But because I was causing her pain and shaming her about things she was already ashamed about and cannot go back and change, things that while she lied at first when I directly asked her, she eventually admitted to. I love her too much to put her through the ringer like I have. And I feel so inadequate that I can't just move on from this, that I can't just be happy that she is with me. That I'm abandoning something that could be so good because I'm so mentally weak that I'm stuck in the past. I'm torn apart because I don't know if I did the right thing.
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