Entitlement mentality in men

July 1, 2013

Ok, so I've only been a part of this forum for a couple of days. I've seen some threads here and there that are pretty "interesting" for lack of a better word. I used to study pickup but then I realized that it wasn't really for me. I've been on some of these pickup and "game" forums. I have noticed that there is an extremely massive entitlement mentality in men when it comes to sex and relationships with women. Especially sex.

Men feel entitled to women because they are "nice" because they have been involuntarily celibate for long periods of time. These guys are expecting the universe to have karmic justice and deliver them just desserts for weathering the storm of being a "decent human being". I seriously don't know whether to laugh or cry. These same men then say that "women don't like nice guys" or "women are only attracted to men that are abusive etc. etc." I even saw some posts that were advocating forceful rape of women as "payback".

Well, news flash. Being nice isn't really sexually attractive. Niceness may make you be seen as a decent human being, but it alone will never get you into a relationship or sex with a woman. It just won't. Sorry. Women want nice guys yes, but they also meant men they are sexually attracted to. To say you're a nice guy or a decent human being is like saying "I'm alive so I deserve a job" to a job interviewer.

I firmly believe also that men are attracted to more women than are attracted to men. There's a lot of women I see daily that I would like to have sex with but not necessarily be in a relationship with. For women, I am sure that there are few men they would like to have sex with and maybe even less they'd like to be in a relationship with. That's just how it is. Women are allowed to have these standards. Women are allowed to sleep with and get into relationships to guys they are attracted to (what a thought, huh:confused:). Imagine you're a woman. You have two choices. You pick between a nice guy who has no spine and an an narcissistic ******* who shows dominance, social competence, and sexual competence when it comes to escalation. Who will you choose? When I put myself in that position, it really isn't that hard of a decision. I'd pick the latter and hope he sees the error of his ways.

If women are only attracted to certain men, what is stopping you from being that man? No point in saying that "it's not fair she's not attracted to 75% of men". Why aren't you the 25% she's attracted to? A lot of women are exceptionally picky, but there are many who are not.

I'm 21, I'm still a virgin. Never have I expected or felt entitled to sex or a relationship. I have lots of female friends. I do favors for them because it's the right thing to do, not because I deserve to get into their pants. I'm currently working on myself to be a better man and to be more attractive to women. I won't be held back by myself. I realize that a lot of women don't find me attractive because I don't turn them on in some way.

I don't know, I just don't see a lot of self advancement when it comes to men who complain about this. Being attractive is hard work, yes. But isn't it better than the alternative? It just perplexes me how grown men act this way. Aren't these lessons we were supposed to learn when we were kids?

July 1, 2013

But the thing is, No one has ever showed me any evidence of men being any more "entitled" then women.

For every average man who thinks because he's nice he deserves a supermodel, there's an average woman who thinks because she has a great personality she deserves a 6"4 Handsome doctor who makes 250 racks a year.

July 1, 2013

But the thing is, No one has ever showed me any evidence of men being any more "entitled" then women.

For every average man who thinks because he's nice he deserves a supermodel, there's an average woman who thinks because she has a great personality she deserves a 6"4 Handsome doctor who makes 250 racks a year.

Are you kidding me? Men have been culturally socialized to entitlement, especially white men. A lot of women may want a "6'4 handsome doctor with a six figure salary" but that doesn't mean they feel entitled to him. If that's the case, then why do I see so many threads here and on pickup forums where men feel as if they are entitled to have sex with attractive women. I studied pickup for two years intensively, so don't tell me that this isn't true. The world doesn't owe anyone anything. Female entitlement mentality exists and it is sure out there but I firmly believe that male entitlement is even higher.

July 1, 2013

Are you kidding me? Men have been culturally socialized to entitlement, especially white men. A lot of women may want a "6'4 handsome doctor with a six figure salary" but that doesn't mean they feel entitled to him. If that's the case, then why do I see so many threads here and on pickup forums where men feel as if they are entitled to have sex with attractive women. I studied pickup for two years intensively, so don't tell me that this isn't true. The world doesn't owe anyone anything. Female entitlement mentality exists and it is sure out there but I firmly believe that male entitlement is even higher.

What books and PUAs did you exactly study in those 2 years?

July 1, 2013

What books and PUAs did you exactly study in those 2 years?

Roosh V, Rollo Tomassi, Heartiste, Krauser, Vox Day, Alpha Game, University of Man, Private Man, Fast Seduction, Rational Male, endless others...

Most of the authors don't have an entitlement mentality, but if you take a look at the comment section, it's a free-for-all.

July 1, 2013

Are you kidding me? Men have been culturally socialized to entitlement, especially white men. A lot of women may want a "6'4 handsome doctor with a six figure salary" but that doesn't mean they feel entitled to him. If that's the case, then why do I see so many threads here and on pickup forums where men feel as if they are entitled to have sex with attractive women. I studied pickup for two years intensively, so don't tell me that this isn't true. The world doesn't owe anyone anything. Female entitlement mentality exists and it is sure out there but I firmly believe that male entitlement is even higher.

I actually agree with this lol. I never said theres no men who feel entitled. I just said I've never seen any evidence for women not feeling as entitled.

From my experience its equal, but many men feel entitled to sex while many women feel entitled to having a great partner/relationship.

July 1, 2013

Roosh V, Rollo Tomassi, Heartiste, Krauser, Vox Day, Alpha Game, University of Man, Private Man, Fast Seduction, Rational Male, endless others...

Most of the authors don't have an entitlement mentality, but if you take a look at the comment section, it's a free-for-all.

If you look most in the comment section are learning so the assumption can't be formed that all men have entitlement issues.

July 1, 2013

And yes, many women want and feel entitled to the 6"4 doctor lol.

July 1, 2013

If you look most in the comment section are learning so the assumption can't be formed that all men have entitlement issues.

I didn't say all. I said A LOT. As in too many. I've heard guys who don't even study pickup say they deserve a hot girlfriend because they've been shafted in the past.

I actually agree with this lol. I never said theres no men who feel entitled. I just said I've never seen any evidence for women not feeling as entitled.

From my experience its equal, but many men feel entitled to sex while many women feel entitled to having a great partner/relationship.

Of course you won't see any evidence. It is also very impossible to measure which gender has higher levels of entitlement. I'd say men have it more toward more things that go beyond relationships. In general, there is a much higher level of entitlement in this new generation of people than in the past. I wonder why that is.

July 1, 2013

I think entitlement issues are spread across both genders to varying levels depending on the nature of the demographic. Trying to put it down to one gender being more than the other is a bit OTT in my opinion.

July 1, 2013

I didn't say all. I said A LOT. As in too many. I've heard guys who don't even study pickup say they deserve a hot girlfriend because they've been shafted in the past.

Guys you have heard doesn't mean there are a lot of men. In dating both gender have entitlement issues just look at some of the bitter women on here.

July 1, 2013

I don't agree with this. There's a lot of "entitlement" down the gender line. However, it seems like men's entitlement is more rooted in reality than fantasy, which I find a lot of women succumb to. A lot of women have a laundry list of requirements they want a guy to conform to but a lot of men don't have that at all.

July 1, 2013

Ok, so I've only been a part of this forum for a couple of days. I've seen some threads here and there that are pretty "interesting" for lack of a better word. I used to study pickup but then I realized that it wasn't really for me. I've been on some of these pickup and "game" forums. I have noticed that there is an extremely massive entitlement mentality in men when it comes to sex and relationships with women. Especially sex.

In the interest of fairness, there are women with entitled mentalities as well, just usually of a different nature.

Men feel entitled to women because they are "nice" because they have been
involuntarily celibate for long periods of time. These guys are expecting the
universe to have karmic justice and deliver them just desserts for weathering
the storm of being a "decent human being".
I seriously don't know whether to laugh or cry. These same men then say that
"women don't like nice guys" or "women are only attracted to men that are
abusive etc. etc." I even saw some posts that were advocating forceful rape of
women as "payback".

Preach, brother! Lol, I know the types you speak of; they automatically assume that they're being "friend-zoned" (a term I find to be silly, because they make it sound like the women in question actively chose to not be attracted to them), and that it pertains to all guys like themselves. Such is not the case. If someone is not attracted to you, they simply are not attracted to you. These women cannot help it, anymore than these men can help being attracted to them. And of course, the reverse holds true. I've seen girls whine and cry the same lines as these men you refer to.

Well, news flash. Being nice isn't really sexually attractive. Niceness may make
you be seen as a decent human being, but it alone will never get you into a
relationship or sex with a woman. It just won't. Sorry. Women want nice guys
yes, but they also meant men they are sexually attracted to. To say you're a
nice guy or a decent human being is like saying "I'm alive so I deserve a job"
to a job interviewer.

Well put, the bolded in particular.

I firmly believe also that men are attracted to more women than are attracted to
men. There's a lot of women I see daily that I would like to have sex with but
not necessarily be in a relationship with. For women, I am sure that there are
few men they would like to have sex with and maybe even less they'd like to be
in a relationship with. That's just how it is. Women are allowed to have these
standards. Women are allowed to sleep with and get into relationships to guys
they are attracted to (what a thought, huh:confused:).

I think some of these guys forget that said women have as much right as they themselves, do.

Imagine you're a woman. You have two choices. You pick between a nice guy
who has no spine and an an narcissistic ******* who shows dominance, social
competence, and sexual competence when it comes to escalation. Who will you
choose? When I put myself in that position, it really isn't that hard of a
decision. I'd pick the latter and hope he sees the error of his ways.

Frankly, I wouldn't go for either. I dislike when women take on a relationship as a "pet project". That is to say, they only enter the relationship with the idea they can fix/change the guy. I like a guy who can balance being nice, but also being assertive, confident, and not afraid to express both his thoughts and feelings. I couldn't deal with a narcissistic pr*ck anymore than I could deal with a whining, insecure boy.

I'm 21, I'm still a virgin. Never have I expected or felt entitled to sex or a
relationship. I have lots of female friends. I do favors for them because it's
the right thing to do, not because I deserve to get into their pants.

Major kudos to you, both for being secure enough in yourself to not be embarrassed by being a virgin, and for knowing that doing favours for them should not be with the expectation of getting anything in return. As long as you're not allowing yourself to be used, you're doing great.

I'm currently working on myself to be a better man and to be more
attractive to women. I won't be held back by myself. I realize that a lot of
women don't find me attractive because I don't turn them on in some way.

It might just be that you haven't found the right type of women, yourself. Sure, I encourage bettering yourself for you; just make sure you don't force yourself to be someone you aren't.

I don't know, I just don't see a lot of self advancement when it comes to men who complain about this. Being attractive is hard work, yes. But isn't it better than the alternative? It just perplexes me how grown men act this way. Aren't these lessons we were supposed to learn when we were kids?

You would think so, but I suppose it all depends on the man in question's background. Besides, everyone has a different idea of what they find attractive. I can find just about any guy with any body type physically attractive-that isn't to say I find them all attractive, but that I don't actually have a type. That being said? I seldom find myself desiring any of them. I find, if I have physical and emotional attraction to someone (the two tend to go hand-in-hand with me), they seldom fit into the conventional definition of "attractive".

July 1, 2013

From my observations the "entitlement" mentality appears to be a human construct that has existed since the beginning and has flourished rapidly over the last 80 - 150 years as technology has advanced the speed of communication and availability of information, misinformation, and opinion. Society can't keep up. From religion to politics to finance, relationships, education, employment, sex - you name it - as a race within a global society we've been told for generations we are entitled to a myriad of different things. As humans we apply that entitlement thinking forward and ultimately hurt ourselves. I've felt that way at work. I work hard, receive special recognition or award for going Above and Beyond, so I use that in my performance review and ask for a raise. I'm used to getting an increase so if I don't get it I'm likely to feel hurt or angry because on some level I may feel entitled to that raise.

Apply that to dating and if what has 'worked' on the majority of dates doesn't work on someone new that unfulfilled expectation may trigger disappointment anger and a feeling of entitlement.

July 1, 2013

All of this is a smoke screen to attack white men....

I use one sentence about white men in my entire post and you single that out. Looks like someone is trying to find something that isn't there.

For the record...

I AM white, genius.

July 1, 2013

Then you have a self hating conflict here. Women don't typically find that trait attractive.

Yeah, calling out bull**** within my demographic isn't self-hating, it's self-awareness.

Shame you can't recognize the difference, buddy.

July 1, 2013

Entitlement isn't any greater in regards to any other race. Your "self-awareness" is nothing more than prejudice. Actually there are quite a few non-white cultures who still practice arranged marriages in which a man is guaranteed a bride, and if she can't reproduce he is guaranteed one who can so naturally the entitlement is through the roof if you consider expecting some happiness entitlement.

White men on a cultural scale have expected other cultures, races, and women to bow down to them as supreme arbiters of the universe since discovering lands outside Europe.

I think its quite clear you wish nothing more to cherry-pick, so I think we're done here.

July 1, 2013

I don't really see that much entitlement (I don't consider really wanting what has been advertised socially as ideal to be 'entitlement') on here...what I see is more along the lines of cluelessness in social interaction, and frustration over the dishonesty and lack of transparency in many social communication styles.

Many guys grow up hearing women say things like "I just want a nice guy who will treat me well", and then find out via the actions of those they pursue that this is, in fact, not what a lot of women want, and that they've essentially been lied to, and continue to be lied to.

It's not so much "I'm entitled", as it's "You told me, collectively, as a gender, that if I did this, this and this, you would consider me attractive and I'd have a shot".

I think it's more a sense of betrayal VS entitlement that pisses men off when they can't get a girl.

July 1, 2013

I don't really see that much entitlement (I don't consider really wanting what has been advertised socially as ideal to be 'entitlement') on here...what I see is more along the lines of cluelessness in social interaction, and frustration over the dishonesty and lack of transparency in many social communication styles.

Many guys grow up hearing women say things like "I just want a nice guy who will treat me well", and then find out via the actions of those they pursue that this is, in fact, not what a lot of women want, and that they've essentially been lied to, and continue to be lied to.

It's not so much "I'm entitled", as it's "You told me, collectively, as a gender, that if I did this, this and this, you would consider me attractive and I'd have a shot".

I think it's more a sense of betrayal VS entitlement that pisses men off when they can't get a girl.

You have a point. I believe a sense of "betrayal" is part of that as well. Still, I thought people realize that "you don't ask a fish how to catch a fish, you ask a fisherman". Even before I read pickup stuff, I knew that women didn't really give solid advice on how to "catch" them, I'd have to ask the guys who go through the process themselves. I've never asked my mom how my dad got her because I knew it would be viewed through rose-colored filters. I asked my dad. Also, my parents obviously grew up in a different time and dating is much different than it is today. I do realize that a lot of guys also don't have dads that they can do that to. If men feel a sense of "betrayal" at the female gender as a collective whole, then that's on them. No one told them they have to feel that way. You can either respond to a bad situation with malice or you can take steps to rectify the situation in a positive manner. I chose the latter.

Still, I won't back down from my assertion that men in general still feel "entitled" to a woman, especially the guys who have been through hell and back in social situations. Women do feel a sense of entitlement as well but we are not talking about female entitlement, we are discussing male entitlement, so whether they do or not is extraneous to this current discussion.

July 1, 2013

Still, I won't back down from my assertion that men in general still feel "entitled" to a woman, especially the guys who have been through hell and back in social situations. Women do feel a sense of entitlement as well but we are not talking about female entitlement, we are discussing male entitlement, so whether they do or not is extraneous to this current discussion.

I agree with you. There are these posts that it is "not fair" that men have to do the courting and pursuing, and I just wonder what the heck they expect. For women to ask them out, so they can get the satisfaction of rejecting a woman like they have been rejected? For women to not be allowed to say no? For women to just walk up and drop their panties?

I think a lot of it is age-related.

In teens/twenties, both men and women tend to focus on the superficial: sex appeal, size, height, buffness, etc. As you continue to date, get your heart broken, find out who you are, those attributes become less important, and others rise to the top of the priority list: honesty, integrity, shared values, shared goals, humor, shared interests, shared sex drive/likes, etc.

July 1, 2013

I know a guy who all of a sudden became attractive in his late 20s and he gets women hitting on him. He rejects them harshly for kicks as some sort of payback for how women used to treat him.

July 1, 2013

I think the problem with entitlement is directly related to the access to sex.

Almost every woman has easy access to sex but many men struggle to get it... since men is geared to think that success in life is directly proportional to the amount of sex you have had (this is written in our DNA), many of those men feel that they should be entitled to get what for them is as necessary as food or water.

Just my 0.02$

Edited July 1, 2013 by therhythm

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Entitlement mentality in men

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