digger Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 I write alot--I know..but it always seems to be something different. Ive gone thru this hell for 7 months and I can get over her. After all we were together for 21 years. The divorce was final on Sept 1. Heres what I need to know. The official divorce papers came last Friday. Im really upset. I knew that I cut her a deal thru lawyers to let her move out of state. They offered to let me forego any child support payments etc if Id grant that wish. I did--not because I wanted to--but because I needed to. But I thot shed be going to the place we came from where we had ties..about 500 miles away. When the divorce papers came, handwritten in and initialed by the ex, was the clause "would allow them (her/daughter) to move to the San Antonio texas area". I was shcoked. Shes never been there--its 1000 miles from where we are now...and I know the chances are her old boss who is back In texas now is probably her connection to going there if she does. If she goes there I feel Ill never see her again and there will never be a chance to reconcile...If she were going to where I thot she would go, I thot there might be as its only a 6 hour drive away and my son by first marriage is there to. I could easily and have thot about moving THERE myself. My question: and it is true I cant get over her and may never...but, should I write her a letter asking her please to not go there--that it would destroy me and Id lose all hope of ever making it right? Hell Ive never even BEEN to Texas. Keep in mind i ceased all contact 8 weeks ago hoping she'd think. I DO NOT know if this is all a bluff or not. We moved 13 times together but it was always my family helping us pack etc. Her family never lifted a finger. I cant see her doing this all herself (tho shes a big girl) and having to sell a house and everything else, not to mention eventually moving 1000 miles away from her parents and family. I just dont know whats in her head. How she can up and leave not even giving it a shot. I just feel so lost at the thot of her moving half a world away. Do I write and ask--or will I undo everything Ive done with 8 wks. of N/C? thanks.
Scott S Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 You entered into the agreement allowing this. You received consideration therein, so... You may write if you wish, I suppose. However, I believe it would be a waste of your time. She is free to go there if she chooses to do so. She is set on moving on with her life. From what you have written in other posts, I would say that the likelihood of you reconciling is so remote, it doesn't even merit consideration. I'm not trying to be facetious, but I believe you stand a greater chance of being struck by a meteor. I'm sorry to say that you are no longer a part of her life, but that is the simple fact, & the sooner you accept that & move on with your life, the better. At some point in the future, and I mean years from now, your children may re-establish contact with you when they are grown. Or they may not. Difficult to say for certain. You cannot make them do so, though. I'm sorry that this isn't what you want to hear. But how much worse to raise false hopes?
Pocky Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Digger - I think you need to accept that your wife doesn't want to reconcile and your marriage has ended.
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