Need to move back in with parents for a while - worried guy will think less of me!

[Lovezen_30]

I'm graduating and after a month of struggling (financially and otherwise) I've decided to live at home again until I'm back on my feet.

 

Financially, I'm job hunting and have had a couple of interviews (which is promising) but no job yet. I have money saved from my previous wages, but it's running out and I don't want to start dipping into my savings. Moreover, I had to leave my recent job because of an enduring leg injury that hasn't healed yet.

 

On top of this I visit/look after a terminally ill family member who lives in my hometown - which means I try to see this person as much as possible but travelling back and forth is taking a toll on me physically and mentally. Living an hour away from home isn't long, but I want to spend time with my family just now and would rather not have to travel so much.

 

About this guy: for a start, he lives closer to where I am now, which would make a potential relationship very workable. But I don't think I have much choice in this matter for now, and as he is seven years older me and very self-sufficient, I'm worried this move will be off-putting enough for him to not want to see my anymore. Or that where am I in my life just clashes too much. I suppose it would mean seeing him a bit less than I have been, but I'd still be up for date nights etc. Please give me some perspective...

 

edit: the guy seems to like me a lot and appears to be quite invested in me. But I'm worried that (though hopefully temporary) this move will put us on a different wavelength.

[white]

It wouldn't bother me. But I'm an unusual man. It would bother many others. In my opinion, it putting him off would make him very shallow indeed, just as it does women doing the same. But my opinion won't stop it happening if that's how he feels.

 

In this day and age, everyone not sponsored by rich parents has money issues after graduating. Moving back home is common. He should know this. If he still has a problem with it he's an idiot.

 

If he is as invested as you say, I don't expect it to bother him. Besides, it's happening anyway, there's no alternative. Worst case scenario, a douchebag who wanted a rich girlfriend leaves you. You probably already know if this is who he is.

[happywithlife]

I had to move back in with my parents, after a divorce, and I'm in my mid-thirties. I actually found it a great way to weed out men when I eventually started dating again. Some men would run for the hills when I said where I lived, even though I had a specific timeline in place for moving back out of my parent's place. Other men didn't seem to mind at all. I thought it was a great way to learn about a date's personality. If they didn't mind they understood that I was doing what I had to do in order to provide my kids with a stable environment for a short time period when I was divorcing and back in school.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Wow. You're a woman and asking this question? I've never seen a woman ask this question. Tons of guys do.

 

Good for you. Shows you are down to Earth and flawed (in a good way).

 

Wouldn't bother me at all, especially if you just finished school. Wouldn't even register in my mind.

 

Even if you were considerably older, I don't think it would bother me depending on the circumstances. But the short answer is no.

[Lovezen_30]

It wouldn't bother me. But I'm an unusual man. It would bother many others. In my opinion, it putting him off would make him very shallow indeed, just as it does women doing the same. But my opinion won't stop it happening if that's how he feels.

 

In this day and age, everyone not sponsored by rich parents has money issues after graduating. Moving back home is common. He should know this. If he still has a problem with it he's an idiot.

 

If he is as invested as you say, I don't expect it to bother him. Besides, it's happening anyway, there's no alternative. Worst case scenario, a douchebag who wanted a rich girlfriend leaves you. You probably already know if this is who he is.

 

Well...he is also an unusual man. He doesn't care for riches.

 

But it's mostly how it would change the dynamic/wavelength between us, if you know what I mean? That's what concerns me.

 

The bit I bolded is correct in any case. I'd like to think it would be disappointing for him at worst, but not a big deal at best...

[Lovezen_30]

I had to move back in with my parents, after a divorce, and I'm in my mid-thirties. I actually found it a great way to weed out men when I eventually started dating again. Some men would run for the hills when I said where I lived, even though I had a specific timeline in place for moving back out of my parent's place. Other men didn't seem to mind at all. I thought it was a great way to learn about a date's personality. If they didn't mind they understood that I was doing what I had to do in order to provide my kids with a stable environment for a short time period when I was divorcing and back in school.

 

Hmm...I hadn't really thought of it like this.

 

So, perhaps I should think of it as a positive rather than a negative? Because, the truth is - I like this guy, but I'm still in the getting to know him stages. I suppose his reaction to this/if he backs off would give me a good insight into his character and what he really thinks of me.

[Untouchable_Fire]

edit: the guy seems to like me a lot and appears to be quite invested in me. But I'm worried that (though hopefully temporary) this move will put us on a different wavelength.

 

If he really cares about you... then this will not provide an issue.