Enna Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I keep doubting my NC because my friends (who I vent to, obviously!) keep saying it's just me being stubborn, that they think he is just trying to reach out to me in the hope that we might reconcile, and that NOBODY would just come straight out and say that they wanted to get back with somebody if they'd dumped them. I have to say it shakes me a bit. I've had six emails and other attempts to 'reach out' to me (e.g. contacting my friend via Facebook) from my dumper in my 38 days strict NC and they've built gradually to 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and 'I don't want to lose you'. But never 'I want a second chance' or 'I'm sorry, I regret what I did'. I don't want to tell him to stop because even THAT seems to me fraught with pitfalls. I keep reading and re-reading the No Contact Guide but blimey, it's hard, especially when others doubt it.
hoping2heal Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I disagree with your friends. If you love someone and want the relationship back you'll say it. You wouldn't risk losing that person over simply not saying the words and unless the dumper is incredibly dense; they would understand why you wouldn't be trying to contact them in the first place. I had a dumpers reach out to my friends and behave similarily in my younger 20's. Did he want to get back together? No. He wanted my attention and he wanted to know I still wanted him. He couldn't handle the thought I'd actually moved on and was OK. Too much of a blow to his ego 2
aloneinaz Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I agree. If the dumper wanted you back, they'd be saying that. He's just throwing bread crumbs, wanting some attention from you. He's perplexed that you're no longer chasing him around like a little puppy. He's also worried that you might no be a fall back person in case he meets no one better. Stay NC and meet someone else. 1
flitzanu Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 yup, your friends are dumb with this advice they're giving you. if someone wants you, they'll damn sure tell you. "i love you" and "i miss you" is something i could say to any FRIEND of mine. 1
Author Enna Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 'I don't want to lose you' is MADDENING from someone who dumped you! I was dying to reply to that one...but he must realise how contrary it is.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Your friends don't sound very bright. You are doing the right thing and every poster that has responded to you thus far is spot on. As for my friends, they definitely understand NC. Several advised it right around when I started it with my last ex or said I was making the right call by doing it. And they were right. 1
Recommended Posts