J_L_C Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Does anyone else feel like time is running out? I've had a couple serious long-term relationships fizzle out...relationships with people I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I've been hurt and am now exhausted. Sometimes I just feel like the whole "getting to know you" and starting from scratch thing just isn't worth it. First of all, it's not easy meeting people these days. I work so much that I don't have a whole lot of time to "get out there". Ive done the online dating and speed dating ordeal, but oftentimes they just wind up being nice people who I have no spark with. I really want to get married and perhaps start a family, but I feel like my options are dwindling down. All of my friends are married and it's hard to get people to go out with who are also single and looking. Overall I just feel like I am losing my enthusiasm for the whole idea of finding my "one". I'm 32 so I'm not getting any younger. Does anyone else feel this way?
pyramid Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I know I have felt that way, and I'm sure many others here have. Taking a break from actively looking really gave me some sanity back. My situation is different in that I'm not looking to start a family - I do want to get married again, but there's no timeline on it.
Joaquin Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 When u meet someone amazing tho it rarely feels like a chore starting again. Its usually fairly exciting. I think there is some brain chemical that helps. The running out of time feeling hits everyone i think, and contributes to many staying in bad relationships. The drive to couple up is very strong, certainly in yr 20s and 30s, and no doubt beyond.Cricky if it wasnt there i doubt women would ever put out for guys. U just gotta keep the faith and create and take yr chances when they come yr way. The one thing I woukd say tho is not to settle for some one yr not going anywhere with, or waste years on people that arent on the same page.
L1ght Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 It depends how old someone is and how people let age get in the way of them doing the things they wanna do. Im 31 and any time I start to think I'm too old I just remember a favourite comedian of mine (Joey Diaz) who is about 50 years old and has just became a father. The reason I use this guy as an example that anything is possible is because he is a big fat slob but through his passion(comedy) he has managed to make a life for himself and has even started a family at the age of 50.........looking at him makes me believe anything is possible if people follow their deams.
HeavenOrHell Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I felt like that when my ex left me after 18 years when I was 43. I'm 47 now. It sucks when 'the one' leaves after all that time and you both thought it was for life, I now think there isn't such a thing as 'the one', that you can have more than one great love in a lifetime. I never wanted kids though, so that's never been an issue. I'm in an LDR now with little hope of ever living closer, so I'm thinking I'll probably be living alone the rest of my life now, so it's a case of working on getting used to it. You're still young though, so it's likely you'll meet someone, do't give up just yet! Does anyone else feel like time is running out? I've had a couple serious long-term relationships fizzle out...relationships with people I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I've been hurt and am now exhausted. Sometimes I just feel like the whole "getting to know you" and starting from scratch thing just isn't worth it. First of all, it's not easy meeting people these days. I work so much that I don't have a whole lot of time to "get out there". Ive done the online dating and speed dating ordeal, but oftentimes they just wind up being nice people who I have no spark with. I really want to get married and perhaps start a family, but I feel like my options are dwindling down. All of my friends are married and it's hard to get people to go out with who are also single and looking. Overall I just feel like I am losing my enthusiasm for the whole idea of finding my "one". I'm 32 so I'm not getting any younger. Does anyone else feel this way?
Babolat Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 The running out of time feeling hits everyone i think, and contributes to many staying in bad relationships. . I have been thru this myself and completely agree. Single myself now, not dating , spending time with woman, but not dating. I miss intimacy, affection, sex, etc. I figure when it's my time it will happen again.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Time IS running out for me. But 32 is no age to start feeling hopeless. As an older dude who has lived more than 20 years beyond 32, it is THE time to get whatever ducks you have in a row and strive to make of yourself what you will. If you're feeling "old" you are probably still somewhat in grips of "childhood's end"--still attached to your youthful peers and judging or measuring yourself in light of what "everyone else" has or does or where they are in life. The early 30's for me was a time of rebirth--the true beginning of adulthood where you reconcile that you need a "operating system" of your own design where you embrace your loneliness, build strength from solitude, enter relationships with some detachment that tells you you'll land on your feet if it doesn't work out and there's plenty more time to keep growing and discovering. I don't know if me saying this can translate into anyone else benefitting from it but I hope so. I had no one to help me with anything and lots of people around me who were defeatist or warped. 4
L1ght Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) Time IS running out for me. But 32 is no age to start feeling hopeless. As an older dude who has lived more than 20 years beyond 32, it is THE time to get whatever ducks you have in a row and strive to make of yourself what you will. If you're feeling "old" you are probably still somewhat in grips of "childhood's end"--still attached to your youthful peers and judging or measuring yourself in light of what "everyone else" has or does or where they are in life. The early 30's for me was a time of rebirth--the true beginning of adulthood where you reconcile that you need a "operating system" of your own design where you embrace your loneliness, build strength from solitude, enter relationships with some detachment that tells you you'll land on your feet if it doesn't work out and there's plenty more time to keep growing and discovering. I don't know if me saying this can translate into anyone else benefitting from it but I hope so. I had no one to help me with anything and lots of people around me who were defeatist or warped. True! Being in your 30's is a great time for a single man and in many ways is a rebirth like you described. Its all about perception and it seems that too many guys get over 30 and think they have wasted their youth instead of embracing the wisdom they have gained over the years while using it to live a more fulfilled life and do the things they always wanted to do but never got around to for whatever reason. 30-40 is definitely not too old and a guy this age is still young enough to be as physically strong as he ever was while using the knowledge he never had in his late teens and 20's to make better decisions in everything he does. Edited July 1, 2013 by L1ght
Author J_L_C Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Just to clarify...I am a woman so I feel that 32 is creeping up there. I don't even have a "prospect" on the horizon so marriage and kids aren't even close to a glimmer at this point
L1ght Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Just to clarify...I am a woman so I feel that 32 is creeping up there. I don't even have a "prospect" on the horizon so marriage and kids aren't even close to a glimmer at this point I see. Well the points I made about males can be used for females too in this situation for sure. You are still young and its time to embrace the things you always wanted to do and to generally stop worrying about who does or doesn't like you. You will never attract anybody until you become happy with who you are first and trust me when I tell you that many doors always open when we learn how to embrace the things that we are good at in life. focus on yourself and excel in the things you love doing.
Drseussgrrl Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Yep - I'll be 34 this week and I feel like time is running out. I'm lonely, too.
El Brujo Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Honestly, I'm starting to feel like I don't care anymore. I'm a couple of months shy of turning 46, and the only thing I really want out of life at this point is to write my books and make money on them. I guess I don't really care about some lonely woman out there who's waiting to be swept off her feet. She didn't find me and give me any love when I was 20, 30, or 40, so she can FOAD for all I care. 1
free_radicals Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I definitely feel the same way. I'll be 31 in a week and only had one relationship of 5 years and been looking for another in the past 5 years. Then again, being vegan makes it harder because not everyone wants to date one, and of course I'd much rather prefer one. Found one finally in my area but I think it's going towards being friends now. Makes me wonder if there's someone for me out there. *sigh*
HeavenOrHell Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I'm vegan too Yes it does reduce our chances A LOT Oh well, not like I'd change who am just so I could be in a relationship. I definitely feel the same way. I'll be 31 in a week and only had one relationship of 5 years and been looking for another in the past 5 years. Then again, being vegan makes it harder because not everyone wants to date one, and of course I'd much rather prefer one. Found one finally in my area but I think it's going towards being friends now. Makes me wonder if there's someone for me out there. *sigh*
sdraw108 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 (edited) Why on earth would being a vegan put people off dating you? I'd find it very odd if someone rejected me for that (I'm a pescetarian). I wouldn't want to date someone who places significant importance in their partner's food preferences. Surely there are more important things to worry about matching up in a partner? Edited July 2, 2013 by sdraw108
Author J_L_C Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Why on earth would being a vegan put people off dating you? I'd find it very odd if someone rejected me for that (I'm a pescetarian). I wouldn't want to date someone who places significant importance in their partner's food preferences. Surely there are more important things to worry about matching up in a partner? What is that?
HeavenOrHell Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 (edited) It's more that many vegans will want to date another vegan or vegetarian, rather than non vegans/vegetarians, so that we share similar beliefs, veganism is a way of life for most vegans, if they're vegan for ethical reasons, it goes way deeper than a food preference. I think quite a lot of non vegans wouldn't date a vegan as it's seen as weird! Why on earth would being a vegan put people off dating you? I'd find it very odd if someone rejected me for that (I'm a pescetarian). I wouldn't want to date someone who places significant importance in their partner's food preferences. Surely there are more important things to worry about matching up in a partner? Edited July 3, 2013 by HeavenOrHell
Sarabi Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 I think quite a lot of non vegans wouldn't date a vegan as it's seen as weird! I don't see it as weird really I would like to try a vegan diet but...I have a nut allergy and can't take soya milk so am worried that it would be heavily restricting my diet. Not to a point of starvation but still quite tricky. In America I think it might be a bit easier than here...you have so much more variety of EVERYTHING than the supermarkets here! I have been vegetarian for lent on a couple of occasions though. Found it quite alright How does it work in the world of dating though? Would a vegan or vegetarian feel comfortable dating someone who is not? Would you try to convert them? Would you feel comfortable kissing them? ...
marqueemoon4 Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Wow, don't give up at 32.... you have so much life ahead of you. I will say I'm 11yrs older than you and I am feeling the pain of being divorced, alone, and afraid to get close to anyone again. Hopefully that will pass.
Charlie.Brown Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 Im 41 and never had a good long term relationship. Id much rather be 31 or 32. You have lots of time left. Give yourself a chance. Myself? Maybe not so much..
nerd Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I dislike dating a vegan or vegetarian because I love cooking for my SO, and that requires her willingness to consume such items as cream, chicken and beef stock, eggs, meat, and other things that constitute good food.
Ryan R. Posted July 5, 2013 Posted July 5, 2013 I dislike dating a vegan or vegetarian because I love cooking for my SO, and that requires her willingness to consume such items as cream, chicken and beef stock, eggs, meat, and other things that constitute good food in my opinion. Fixed that for you, sport. 2
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