yourcomrade Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hello, I'm pretty sure many of us here would be more than happy to find forums like this to discuss our private relationship matters with such kind hearted friends always ready to help us out. I thank you all for that. I'm pretty sure there are going to be a lot of questions/comments/replies or suggestions following this, so I would like to start off with a summary of how things are for me. I'm 20. I've been doing pretty good as a student till now but I am very inspired and highly motivated to do a lot of good in my life and achieve my dreams. I don't believe god exists, however believe in our connection with nature and that we all are connected in the way we should be. I met my love in high school and we have had two great years together till now. She is a very obedient, good girl who means no harm. I know she loves her parents a lot and never wants to hurt them. We knew this all along but we decided to try because we were in love, deeply. I gave all my time for her, sacrificed a lot and made her very happy in the past two years because I knew she loved me, and I had to remove the element of doubt in her to make her try whole heartedly. We have had really great times together and spent almost every day meeting. Last few months had been very tough because I felt its high time she realizes we both need to be in sync and start trying together instead of me alone giving my 100%. Things turned out to be pretty bad and now we have broken up. We both know we love each other but she wants me to move on because she wouldn't be able to hurt her parents. We have stopped talking for a month now. I've had really troubled times, lost about 15kg, I still get nightmares every other day. Got back to solitude, it was like 'the big moment' for me. However after all the pain and crying and every other stuff that happened, I've had big changes in life and a different journey is set to begin. But my love for her still remains the same. I'm not sure how many of you will agree but I want to do lot in this life, whatever possible, make my dreams come true, work towards that even if it means sacrificing my personal interests for a bigger gain. So over time I have decided with clarity that she would be the only person I would actually have as a companion in this life, that would make me happy enough and give me the feeling of 'home' as I go on with my life. Now she wants me to move on. Another 3 years for her marriage. We both are relatively from same socio-economic background, religion and past history in terms of family. However our castes are different and that's a very big thing for her parents. We both are deep in love and she knows she will be too happy with me but doesn't want to hurt them. But point is such marriages has happened in her family circle itself and even they will accept it over time. She is too worried that they might never be happy and stuff. I'm very sure I will take care of them and give my maximum efforts to make them happy. So I don't see a point in compromising such love for the small fact that their parents might not be able to face relatives. Its really only in their mind and they can always be happy to say 'I gave my daughter the life she wanted'. I do understand sacrifice though I don't wanna trouble her anymore. I know I have given my 100% till now and still if she doesn't want to fight for me I don't want to try convincing her. But I want to wait. Till the very end, till the day she will be married. Its like going for the kill, I understand what sort of pain I will have to handle but I somehow feel even if that's going to give me a little chance with her, its worth it. I am in NO hurry to move on, I don't want to and don't think I will feel like in foreseeable future. She is the love of my life and I will work on my life as I wait for her. Ray of hope that she too figures out that only real solution to this problem is talking it out to her parents and doing our best to keep their hurt % to bare minimum. Our 2nd anniversary is coming up in another 3 days. I want to gift her something which would really touch her heart and make her feel the love. I definitely want to give her a thank you card for the two years, I gave her too much but I still feel thankful for her love. And I want to see her for a minute without any words if required. And I am going to let her go, I'll wait however. Can you guys please give me some suggestions. How this will help me? We have another 2 years or so together guaranteed time which we can be happy together. It might become tough for her because it'll take it closer to marriage if she is breaking up and gonna be very hard for me. But she is also worried next two years will only add to my pain. I'm aware of all this, but I still think we need to face all this if we have to get there. So there is a chance that she might come back to me atleast for more time if she thinks this love is too valuable. Guys, I know I am going to be meeting a lot of women. I've dated few before her. There is so much more in life, etc. I know I might be hurting myself and bothering her. But I'm sure its worth waiting, even if the chances are 1%. If she doesn't work out, I don't think I will be interested in any type of relationship for a very long time. Maybe never. Practically speaking worst case: If I've to move on, I'll at least be fine doing it after she is married; despite the pain. Love and compassion, that keeps me going. Thank you! PS : Pretty long, please tell me if I need to cut short
yoghurtsandlimes Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 It sounds as though she us trying to encourage you to move on, as it seems she may be starting to. If this attempt does not reconcile you, will you accept the situation and move on?
Author yourcomrade Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 She is not going to move on anytime soon. I know her, she is matured and concerned etc but I know she loves me too. And she needs to do this for parents solely. She wouldn't move on as such, she will try to forget me but only during her marriage period she will accept it and try to be happy for her parents and her future. As I said, I don't want to move on. I think she is the love of my life and if the pain I'm risking by waiting for 3 years can be traded with a small chance that we will have a life together, I don't want to leave that.
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