MorganDreamer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) I met him online and we have known one another for a year now, but we have never met. it's so complicated between us, we text each other everyday. It started with the slightest word "Hi" through the online dating website. This is the first time that I feel like I found the right one. He is so nice, he is a kind of crazy person, just like me. He gets me and who I am without saying anything. We have our in common senses of humour, and he is the only person who can make me smile like a sunshine to me. That feeling when someone thinks that you are silly, and laugh at your joke when nobody does, when he thinks that you are cute when you are moody, when he loves the way you are even in the side of you that you don't think it's loveable. I fall in love with him with all my heart and this is not blind at all, I took almost 9 months to realize that I love him. We are all the way on the opposite sides of the world. I am in asia and he is in the states, this space in-between me and him is tearing me apart. I can't go day without thinking of him, the fact is I miss him all the time even when we are texting, I am so obsessed with him. I'm planing on visiting him once I graduate, and I am counting down till that day. We talked about our relationship and he told me not to worry because he would wait for me, he wouldn't date until I get there because he didn't want anything between us when we meet. He cares about me, he makes me feel loved, he is the one who is calm when I get mad, and he has never been mad at me. He is a reasonable person when I am not, but he's been here and telling me not to leave him. This is scarring me, because he is so good. How can someone be this cool? I am afraid to get hurt, well I tried to run away like a few times, but I couldn't go far. I don't know how I could fall in love with a stranger this hard. But I know it's true. Well, I'm worried because we are going to meet in 8 or 9 moths from now, and I am afraid that I will get hurt a lot when we say goodbye. I know this is not gonna happen, between me and him. We might have a chance too meet, but I am going to leave right away. I am telling myself that this is a real life and there is no happy ending like I thought. Why does it hurt so much when you love someone so much it hurts? I can let him go if he find someone new, who he can touch and see her everyday. I am just a stranger that might be exist only in his imagination ... Edited June 30, 2013 by MorganDreamer
LittleTiger Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hi Morgan. Sorry to hear you're in this situation. I would never recommend talking for longer than a couple of months online as I know, from experience, how easy it is to get too emotionally attached to what is, essentially, a fantasy. How long will it be before you can definitely meet for real? 2
missunshine Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hi Morgan. Sorry to hear you're in this situation. I would never recommend talking for longer than a couple of months online as I know, from experience, how easy it is to get too emotionally attached to what is, essentially, a fantasy. How long will it be before you can definitely meet for real? I think she said ''in 8 or 9 months from now''..
missunshine Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I think she said ''in 8 or 9 months from now''.. MorganDreamer... I know exactly how you feel... I am myself in the same situation, except that I am not so sure when I am gonna meet him, but it will probably be in less than a year as well... haven't made any plans about it yet though... anyway, I am sure you want to meet him, but also you are afraid of what might happen afterwards. I suppose that's a chance you have to take. You will never know if you don't go there and find out by yourself. If you really think he is worth it, I would advise you to go and meet him. And then, whatever happens, happens. But really do it if you have the chance. If you don't, you will always be wondering how it would have been.
LittleTiger Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I think she said ''in 8 or 9 months from now''.. Sorry, I missed that Morgan, if you have to wait that long I would suggest you both just get on with your lives in the meantime. You say you are afraid to get hurt but you are already getting hurt and it will get worse the longer this goes on. The only way to deal with this situation is to accept that you are just friends for now. Date or don't date as you wish, but please DO NOT put all your hopes of 'love ever after' on a man you've never met. If you put your life on hold for a maybe you are setting yourself up for serious heartbreak. 2
justwhoiam Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) I fall in love with him with all my heart and this is not blind at all It is very blind. I am so obsessed with him.I can tell How can someone be this cool? Cool? This is a 35 year old man with two children to two different mothers, and has no job. Pretty cool............... I'll copy and paste from the other thread: - He is 35, and I am 21 - I've dated only a few guys before - He has two kids with separate mothers - We are living on the opposite sides of the world - He's got no job - Someone has said that he is not worthy of me, but I really don't care MorganDreamer, read what you wrote please. You're very young and don't know the ways of the world yet. But you cannot say that you don't give a thing about the fact that he has no job and two kids with different mothers that he should be supporting. He should be sweating his shirt around the clock to give his children what they need, and at least buy them food and clothes. He owes that to them, and they will always come before you. He has responsibilities to take care of, and I'm not sure he's doing that now. Make sure he's a good father, and get a report on him ASAP, to see if there are any restraining order on him, if he's been sued, etc. You have no idea what other women in your situation went through being in the dark about "their" man. And two marriages (or cohabitations, as I hope he's not just getting women pregnant sleeping around) gone wrong by age 35 can just be bad luck, but don't rule out other possibilities about this guy, which are very likely. Edited June 30, 2013 by justwhoiam
missunshine Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Oh no no no. Morgan you didnt give all this information about him earlier. When did she write he was 35, two kids, and jobless? In that case, I take back everything I said before. I am sorry, but you shouldnt be falling for someone who might ruin your future, like his is already.
Tk123 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 If the above quote is true MorganDreamer, I think you need to do yourself a favor and get out while you can. Things may seem all fine and dandy to you, but take a look at what you said about him. I don't know about you, but I see many red flags going off. You're still very young and haven't even met him yet. I would consider moving on if I were you; before you get hurt. 2
Carenth Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Sorry Morgan but this will not end well and you are very naive if you think it will otherwise. LDR are hard enough for people with stable jobs and who aren't tied down by excess baggage. You can not just simply ignore the fact this guy does not have a job. Simple fact if you ever plan to meet someone is going to have to pay and it's quite unfair in my opinion to expect one party to pick up all the costs. This man also has two children from separate mothers. I'm sorry but this just screams alarm bells for me. You really do deserve better than this. You are very young and you have a lot to lose by chasing this, he on the other hand has not much to lose at all. He probably thinks it's brilliant having a young, impressionable and naive women chasing after him. 3
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Sorry Morgan but this will not end well and you are very naive if you think it will otherwise. LDR are hard enough for people with stable jobs and who aren't tied down by excess baggage. You can not just simply ignore the fact this guy does not have a job. Simple fact if you ever plan to meet someone is going to have to pay and it's quite unfair in my opinion to expect one party to pick up all the costs. This man also has two children from separate mothers. I'm sorry but this just screams alarm bells for me. You really do deserve better than this. You are very young and you have a lot to lose by chasing this, he on the other hand has not much to lose at all. He probably thinks it's brilliant having a young, impressionable and naive women chasing after him. Just meet the guy, that plain and simple and then maybe your impression of him will change
justwhoiam Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Just meet the guy, that plain and simple and then maybe your impression of him will change Maybe she will... But as Carenth said, I can only shake my head at a 21 year-old girl paying for an intercontinental flight and her whole stay and everything while going out, while he's 35 so a grown up man... Unless she's some Paris Hilton or something... 1
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