irc333 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I was wondering, have you ever been in a situation where you had more than one person you were considering dating....both were equally as nice and great personalities, but look-wise perhaps there was a physical feature about ONE of them you find MORE attractive (ie - bigger boobs, more fuller lips, a better shaped butt, etc) than the other that you held out for timing-wise? Let's say you meet this one person one day, and then another person the following couple of days. You've been talking to them both, but let's say the "better looking one" had gone on a cruise or out of country on vacation, but agreed to go back with you the NEXT weekend, but the one that's not as attractive as the other was free THIS weekend. WIthout seeming like a superficial cad, how would you work this?
white Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 No. I've been in the situation but the casting vote was not looks. 1
shexy Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 The title of your thread is "have you held you for better" so I'm getting that in your opinion, what you perceive as better looks makes the person better? I've been in that situation last time I did online dating, but I didn't rate their looks like that....looks fade, boobs sag, buttts get big.....so that doesn't really factor in for me. 1
Lani Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 You go out with both of them. One date does not make you exclusive. You may well find that the less attractive one isn't actually what you want anyway and there will be no issue. I see no problem. 3
phineas Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 No. I've been in the situation but the casting vote was not looks. This. The casting vote went to the one who was sexually open about the things she intended to do to me if I gave her the chance.
hppr Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 In the past I've done that and it was a mistake. If a girl is cute and available, and you are single, go out with her. One date doesn't mean much and if you hit it off, great! If not, then you can keep waiting for the other one or whatever.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Let's say you meet this one person one day, and then another person the following couple of days. You've been talking to them both, but let's say the "better looking one" had gone on a cruise or out of country on vacation, but agreed to go back with you the NEXT weekend, but the one that's not as attractive as the other was free THIS weekend. Yup. Sure, this has happened to me. In my dreams!
BradJacobs Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I was wondering, have you ever been in a situation where you had more than one person you were considering dating....both were equally as nice and great personalities, but look-wise perhaps there was a physical feature about ONE of them you find MORE attractive (ie - bigger boobs, more fuller lips, a better shaped butt, etc) than the other that you held out for timing-wise? Let's say you meet this one person one day, and then another person the following couple of days. You've been talking to them both, but let's say the "better looking one" had gone on a cruise or out of country on vacation, but agreed to go back with you the NEXT weekend, but the one that's not as attractive as the other was free THIS weekend. WIthout seeming like a superficial cad, how would you work this? You date each one as they are available. What's your fear? That you're going to have multiple women want to be in exclusive relationships at the same time? Isn't that the goal of dating more than one woman? Play out all of your options?
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Multidate with one caveat. That they're aware you're multidating. Some will opt out and others won't care. 2
BradJacobs Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Multidate with one caveat. That they're aware you're multidating. Some will opt out and others won't care. Unless they ask this is none of their business.
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Unless they ask this is none of their business.That's your preference. When I used to multidate, I made sure that the men involved were aware. This ensured they had the option of opting out or not without resorting to lying by omission. 1
carhill Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 WIthout seeming like a superficial cad, how would you work this? As a discriminating human being, one can make choices regarding compatibility and preference and still avoid 'holding out for better' or 'seeming like a superficial cad'. IME, I've enjoyed two such incidences and one turned upon aspects of personality and the other, more importantly and perhaps to my chagrin, turned upon logistics and location versus specific aspects of person. In retrospect I would say my 'picker' did well in the first instance but was short-sighted in the second. In any event, in general, I don't 'hold out for better' rather assess what is in front of me and make a choice. Perhaps that is a reflection of never dating casually nor having casual sexual relations. For someone who did do so, perhaps 'holding out' would be appropriate and healthy, where the needs/wants of the now are satiated without compromise to the needs/wants of the future.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I am "old school" about dating. It's for getting to know people and seeing what potential might be there. If I were simultaneously dating more than one guy over time, I certainly would let them all know that we were not exclusive, especially if sex was happening. Which, in my case, it would not have been because when it comes to the dirty deed I am fully monogamous. If it's just one or 2 dates with crossover? I wouldn't even talk about it. And, I do take exception to the fuller lips, better ass, etc. making a person "better" than another person. No. 2
sillyanswer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 You've been talking to them both, but let's say the "better looking one" had gone on a cruise or out of country on vacation, but agreed to go back with you the NEXT weekend, but the one that's not as attractive as the other was free THIS weekend. So I want to date girl A and girl B, but girl A isn't available this weekend. I'm not already in a relationship with her, so what I do this weekend is my business. So I might ask girl B on a date. It might turn out that I don't care for a second date with girl B anyway, so by the time I see girl A next weekend there isn't even a multi-dating scenario to have to worry about. Some of the problems that don't even exist yet just aren't worth worrying about. 1
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