Seriously, what would worst happen if you just let your ex that you still love her?

June 30, 2013

I wonder this.

My ex broke up 5 weeks ago but she called me 2 weeks ago for a friendly chat. It was weird.

I'm just wondering what would worst happen if you just let your ex that you still love her and not over her?

I feel like we will die one day and I don't want to regret I haven't told her that I love her. Maybe she won't give a crap, maybe she will give a crap and tell me something nice too, but at least I will be relaxed because I took that feeling out of my system and it doesn't eat me inside anymore.

If she doesn't give a crap, you move on again. If she does, it is good..

What do you pals think about this?

Am I thinking wrong?

June 30, 2013

My ex broke up 5 weeks ago but she called me 2 weeks ago for a friendly chat. It was weird.

No, it was 'breadcrumbs'. She was 'freind-zoning' you. It's not weird at all, it's very common, in fact.

I'm just wondering what would worst happen if you just let your ex that you still love her and not over her?

It would make her feel uncomfortable, and make her feel guilty all over again. Feelings she attempted to appease by calling you 2 weeks ago.

That call was for her benefit, not yours. it was to make her feel better about having dumped you.

(Read the No Contact Guide in my signature. It's all explained there, in the first post. The remainder of the thread is also very useful though....)

I feel like we will die one day and I don't want to regret I haven't told her that I love her.

Didn't you ever tell her that DURING your relationship?

Then, she already knows.

Maybe she won't give a crap, maybe she will give a crap and tell me something nice too, but at least I will be relaxed because I took that feeling out of my system and it doesn't eat me inside anymore.

Yes, it will, because she won't give you the real response you're looking for:

"Oh I love you too! I made a terrible mistake! let's kiss, make up and get together again!"

Not going to happen! Not this far down the line....

If she doesn't give a crap, you move on again. If she does, it is good..
What do you pals think about this?
Am I thinking wrong?

Yes.

Read the Guide.

Then you'll understand why.....

June 30, 2013

Well since any girl who dumps a guy has made the conscious decision not to be with him and end the relationship, odds are she knows how you feel about her.

The worst? That you come across (at least, in her eyes) as needy, desperate and pathetic and make her lose what little respect she had for you. Oh and also give her a huge free ego boost.

The best? That you tell her what she already knows and she does nothing about it.

I miss my ex so much! If I honestly thought confessing my love to her ld make her come back then I WOULD DO IT. But I know thawt all it would achieve would be making her think I am even more pathetic than how she currently views me

June 30, 2013

You two are very right.

But I feel like she still loves me and want to have something with me and misses me.

Her whatsapp status is "is it me or something else?".. And she updated this after the talk and when I told her not to contact me again.

Also her profile photo was a happy one and now it is a sad one after the call.

And I know she is not a girl that run to a guy after break up. She is smart, and nice girl. I don't know if she is flirting with someone but I don't think she is over me yet. And I see this as an advantage of talking to her.

But on the other hand you are right about that she may see me as a needy, desperate guy. And I had my a little self respect back when I told her not to contact me last week.

At least I should keep that one.

June 30, 2013

If you're thinking of telling her you love her then I'm guessing it's only because at this point you think something good will come out of it.

You can pour your heart out though and what you want may never come of it. That has been the sad experience of many people.

Of course, it would be incredibly bias and slanted to not mention that for some people it's worked out. People do reconcile, it does happen. It doesn't always mean the reconciliation is a lasting one, but it happens. I think the people who are able to identify what went wrong, acknowledge, and do something about it will be the most successful at a lasting second chance. In some cases, there's nothing to fix. Two people are just inherently not compatible, end of story.

You can decide to take a risk and go for it but you need to be realistic about the fact that just because you're putting meaning into her words and actions, doesn't mean it's actually there.

June 30, 2013

If you're thinking of telling her you love her then I'm guessing it's only because at this point you think something good will come out of it.

You can pour your heart out though and what you want may never come of it. That has been the sad experience of many people.

Of course, it would be incredibly bias and slanted to not mention that for some people it's worked out. People do reconcile, it does happen. It doesn't always mean the reconciliation is a lasting one, but it happens. I think the people who are able to identify what went wrong, acknowledge, and do something about it will be the most successful at a lasting second chance. In some cases, there's nothing to fix. Two people are just inherently not compatible, end of story.

You can decide to take a risk and go for it but you need to be realistic about the fact that just because you're putting meaning into her words and actions, doesn't mean it's actually there.

Yes, the meanings may not be right. But what if they are. What if she is trying to give me a sign to get back to her?

Damn. I really hate myself right now. I'm doing nothing productive. All I'm doing is laying on bed, watching movies, and hanging at breakup forum and try to feel good.

June 30, 2013

If she truly still loved and missed you, she'd be calling or texting you that. SHE'S NOT DOING THAT.

She dumped you and in doing so, said she didn't want you in her life anymore and wanted to find someone else. WHY would you want to stroke her ego, make yourself look desperate, needy, pathetic over someone WHO ALREADY told you that she didn't want you? Don't give her the satisfaction.

You need to INGORE her unless she contacts you and says she made a mistake and wants a second chance. Any other contact gets ignored.

So, stop crying over this woman, and get your llfe moving forward. You found and hooked up with her, why can't you do it with someone new? What good is coming from sitting around, feeling sorry for youself?

June 30, 2013

If she truly still loved and missed you, she'd be calling or texting you that. SHE'S NOT DOING THAT.

She dumped you and in doing so, said she didn't want you in her life anymore and wanted to find someone else. WHY would you want to stroke her ego, make yourself look desperate, needy, pathetic over someone WHO ALREADY told you that she didn't want you? Don't give her the satisfaction.

You need to INGORE her unless she contacts you and says she made a mistake and wants a second chance. Any other contact gets ignored.

So, stop crying over this woman, and get your llfe moving forward. You found and hooked up with her, why can't you do it with someone new? What good is coming from sitting around, feeling sorry for youself?

What if you feel like you did lots of things wrong too?

Before we broke up I mentioned breaking up a lot because she was so cold to me and always finding weird things to argue about. Then she told me she see me as a friend, and then I suggested we broke up and she said maybe we can do it, let's not break up.

I feel like I did lots of things wrong too.

That's why I have the urge to contact her and tell her my feelings. SHe wasn't that bad, when I think again.

June 30, 2013

What if you feel like you did lots of things wrong too?

Before we broke up I mentioned breaking up a lot because she was so cold to me and always finding weird things to argue about. Then she told me she see me as a friend, and then I suggested we broke up and she said maybe we can do it, let's not break up.

I feel like I did lots of things wrong too.

That's why I have the urge to contact her and tell her my feelings. SHe wasn't that bad, when I think again.

She was probably cold to you because she was losing interest in the relationship. What happened in the past and who made what mistake is inconsequential at this point. What is relevant is is made a final decision to dump you. You pouring your heart out and apologizing for past mistakes just makes you look horribly desperate and needy. Those are HUGE turn offs for women.

If you made mistakes in this dead relationship, learn from them so you don't repeat them. In the mean time, the only thing that would possibly rattle her (if she cared at all) is to disappear from her life 100%. Ignore any contact she tries. Find someone else to go out with. If she knew you were over her and moving on dating someone new, that would bother her (if she still had any feelings for you). She'd have new respect for you, that you didn't sit home crying about her, while moving on to someone who will like you.

June 30, 2013

There are a couple of questions you need to answer if you're going to do this...

- What are you honestly expecting to come of it?

- If you don't get what you want, is it worth your heart breaking all over again, once and for all for this relationship?

- If she does still love you, but still won't be with you, will you feel any better?

I've been there. I asked, and was told that the feeling wasn't there anymore for him. It stung like you wouldn't believe. It did help me to move on, but I think that was mostly because we went no contact from there.

Just make sure you're prepared for any outcome if you do go ahead.

Either way, I think you need to cut contact with her.

Good luck

June 30, 2013

She was probably cold to you because she was losing interest in the relationship. What happened in the past and who made what mistake is inconsequential at this point. What is relevant is is made a final decision to dump you. You pouring your heart out and apologizing for past mistakes just makes you look horribly desperate and needy. Those are HUGE turn offs for women.

If you made mistakes in this dead relationship, learn from them so you don't repeat them. In the mean time, the only thing that would possibly rattle her (if she cared at all) is to disappear from her life 100%. Ignore any contact she tries. Find someone else to go out with. If she knew you were over her and moving on dating someone new, that would bother her (if she still had any feelings for you). She'd have new respect for you, that you didn't sit home crying about her, while moving on to someone who will like you.

She is a very sincere and honest girl. I know she never lied to me. She even told her secrets that she told noone. I trust her.

She is like me. She is probably waiting or hearing that I'm moving on then she will move on. She always said that "I can only move on if I Know you move on. Because if I want a relationship in future, I will only want it with you."

I believed her. And I still believe her.

That tore me apart. We are both not ready for a relationship now. We are so hurt by each other, but I don't want to lose her. I always have hope that things would get better if we tried again.

June 30, 2013

Yes, the meanings may not be right. But what if they are. What if she is trying to give me a sign to get back to her?

Damn. I really hate myself right now. I'm doing nothing productive. All I'm doing is laying on bed, watching movies, and hanging at breakup forum and try to feel good.

I think if she wanted you back she would just say something. But, even though I definitely wouldn't reccomend everyone doing this, in every situation' the fact that individual circumstance means not every scenario is not one size fits all applies. In your case, you're thinking if you don't put your feelings out there "you will never know". In cases like that; I think it's worth a shot. You may never get the reaction you want BUT what it will bring is the closure you need. You'll know "Okay, I did what I could have and she did not want me back". I think it's at least better for you than sitting there all day and analyzing every single word and thing she does to see if it would apply to the two of you.

June 30, 2013

There are a couple of questions you need to answer if you're going to do this...
- What are you honestly expecting to come of it?
- If you don't get what you want, is it worth your heart breaking all over again, once and for all for this relationship?
- If she does still love you, but still won't be with you, will you feel any better?

I've been there. I asked, and was told that the feeling wasn't there anymore for him. It stung like you wouldn't believe. It did help me to move on, but I think that was mostly because we went no contact from there.

Just make sure you're prepared for any outcome if you do go ahead.
Either way, I think you need to cut contact with her.

Good luck

To be honest I'm not waiting any outcome. I feel like she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore anyway. But I feel like I need to get these thoughts out of my system and let her know. So in future when I look back I feel like, I let her know about my feelings and she knew I loved her.

But on the other hand, I know she wouldn't respond probably. Or she would I don't know. But I would feel bad because I did something desperate and needy. And as you pals say, that is a turn off for a girl.

I'm so confused.

But last 3 days all I want is to talk to her and let her about my feelings.

June 30, 2013

I think if she wanted you back she would just say something. But, even though I definitely wouldn't reccomend everyone doing this, in every situation' the fact that individual circumstance means not every scenario is not one size fits all applies. In your case, you're thinking if you don't put your feelings out there "you will never know". In cases like that; I think it's worth a shot. You may never get the reaction you want BUT what it will bring is the closure you need. You'll know "Okay, I did what I could have and she did not want me back". I think it's at least better for you than sitting there all day and analyzing every single word and thing she does to see if it would apply to the two of you.

The first 3 weeks in our NC I accepted the fact that we really broke up because she told me not to write her again.

But after that 3 weeks NC she called me. And talked friendly, and at the end I was the one who said she shouldn't contact me anymore.

From that moment I started to feel like I'm the bad guy and she is all relaxed. I feel so bad and want to get this out of my system so much.

But on the other hand ı know that %90 I will regret it, because she will say she is okay, and moving on.

June 30, 2013

To be honest I'm not waiting any outcome. I feel like she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore anyway. But I feel like I need to get these thoughts out of my system and let her know. So in future when I look back I feel like, I let her know about my feelings and she knew I loved her.

But on the other hand, I know she wouldn't respond probably. Or she would I don't know. But I would feel bad because I did something desperate and needy. And as you pals say, that is a turn off for a girl.

I'm so confused.

But last 3 days all I want is to talk to her and let her about my feelings.

You do expect an outcome, you're just not being honest about it.

Otherwise there would be no point in telling her something you're sure she already knows.

Really think about it before you act.

I still recommend no contact.

I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will get over her in time.

June 30, 2013

You do expect an outcome, you're just not being honest about it.
Otherwise there would be no point in telling her something you're sure she already knows.

Really think about it before you act.

I still recommend no contact.
I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will get over her in time.

What if you feel like you did lots of things wrong in relationship too?

I just want to tell her these;

"Hey .... ,

I just wanted to tell you that I'm still realising that you were a big part of my life and I loved you so much. I still do. We were not very compatible but I know we both cared for each other and did our best to work out with this relationship.

I have no hard feelings for you. I forgive you and I hope you forgive me too.

I'm still not over you and I think this will still take a long time to be accomplished.

I just wanted you to know about my feelings.

I still love you, and I miss you."

Too pathetic?

June 30, 2013

What if you feel like you did lots of things wrong in relationship too?

I just want to tell her these;

"Hey .... ,

I just wanted to tell you that I'm still realising that you were a big part of my life and I loved you so much. I still do. We were not very compatible but I know we both cared for each other and did our best to work out with this relationship.

I have no hard feelings for you. I forgive you and I hope you forgive me too.

I'm still not over you and I think this will still take a long time to be accomplished.

I just wanted you to know about my feelings.

I still love you, and I miss you."

Too pathetic?

Yes. And too long.

June 30, 2013

What if you feel like you did lots of things wrong in relationship too?

I just want to tell her these;

"Hey .... ,

I just wanted to tell you that I'm still realising that you were a big part of my life and I loved you so much. I still do. We were not very compatible but I know we both cared for each other and did our best to work out with this relationship.

I have no hard feelings for you. I forgive you and I hope you forgive me too.

I'm still not over you and I think this will still take a long time to be accomplished.

I just wanted you to know about my feelings.

I still love you, and I miss you."

Too pathetic?

Send it in a letter if you so decide to tell her.

You'll never know if she read it or not, and it gives her the option to do what she wishes.

And delete the 'I hope you forgive me too'

This is about her, not you.

June 30, 2013

Yes. And too long.

I just read it again. Very pathetic.

June 30, 2013

What's the worst that can happen if you let your ex know you still love her?

1) she can laugh at you
2) she can laugh about it with all her friends and have a great time at your expense...
3) she can feel threatened and inform the police (or a friend or boyfriend who will rough you up or worse)

It's not worth it...

Definitely wouldn't want any of those 3.

June 30, 2013

Send it in a letter if you so decide to tell her.
You'll never know if she read it or not, and it gives her the option to do what she wishes.

And delete the 'I hope you forgive me too'
This is about her, not you.

I don't know her post adress.

I was thinking sending it by e-mail and then text her that I sent an e-mail.

At our last talk, she said she will send my stuff back. Maybe she add a letter in it.

June 30, 2013

I don't know her post adress.

I was thinking sending it by e-mail and then text her that I sent an e-mail.

At our last talk, she said she will send my stuff back. Maybe she add a letter in it.

How do you not know her address?

Email only, no text.

June 30, 2013

The worst thing that will happen is it'll put you back at square one. This isn't about her anymore, she has made her choice and she is moving on. You should focus on yourself and try to push her from your mind entirely.

June 30, 2013

How do you not know her address?
Email only, no text.

She is 19 and she lives with her parents and I've never been to her flat but she always came to mine.

Okay, only e-mail but still doubting to send it.

June 30, 2013

The worst thing that will happen is it'll put you back at square one. This isn't about her anymore, she has made her choice and she is moving on. You should focus on yourself and try to push her from your mind entirely.

If I can be sure that she is moving on that would be so much easier for me. I feel like she is there and missing me and wanting me too.

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Seriously, what would worst happen if you just let your ex that you still love her?

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