turnerik Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 The basics: Together 3 1/2 years She's 18 I'm 20 She left me over 3 months ago 1st month I begged stalked and cried Haven't tried contacting her a lot. Maybe once every 3 weeks. She unfriendly me on Facebook, but added me back right away. (Not sure how long we were I friended, but it couldn't be that long) So my buddy wants to move to Tennessee ( we love in Wisconsin) we are going down in August to find a place. When we get back I'm going to write her a letter asking to see me one last time before I leave. I'm going to tell her ill be at a park by her house everyday for a week at 6pm and if she could come talk to me one night, that would be great. I'm going to tell ask her straight up if there is any chance of us getting back together and if she thinks of me. I will tell her if there is a chance and she just needs more time, I will stay, if not, then I am moving, and hopefully she will come to my going away party. I need to see her one last time, so I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what if. I will prepare my self for total rejection, part of me expects her not to show up at all. It's not a threat, I really am going to move down there after a graduate. Of course I hope she says she wants me to stay, but if not, then it's time for a big change. I can't be in a place where whenever I drive anywhere, there is always a memory of us. My family has given me support on doing this, and a lot of older adults say they envy me being young and making a big change in my life. Any advice on anything would be greatly appreciated.
denxnis Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I wouldn't invite her to your going away party. Rather I would let her know that you are moving because you don't want the constant reminder of your past. Maybe throw something in there about how you're free the next day in case she'd like to have one last talk. I don't think you're going to get the response you're expecting... Just a heads up. 1
Author turnerik Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 I fully expect her to say that she is happy without me and she doesn't care if I move or not. I have to at least try though because I don't want to move down there always wondering what if!
denxnis Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I fully expect her to say that she is happy without me and she doesn't care if I move or not. I have to at least try though because I don't want to move down there always wondering what if! Yes, I completely understand; in fact I did the same thing. No regrets, just try not to do anything on impulse. Best of luck, let us know how things go if you'd like.
athousandquestions Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 No. No. No. NO. NO. Do you hear yourself? This girl left you 3 months ago. You begged for her back and she didn't want you. You're now messaging her every 3 weeks while she is off living her life and NOT CARING ENOUGH TO MESSAGE YOU. You're gonna wait at a park every night for a week? Use that time to go to the gym. There is no "what if" here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If she wanted to be with you she would be! If she regretted ending things, she would SAY SO. All you're doing here is showing her that you are still hung up on her and pushing her farther and farther away. What if instead of begging for her back and looking completely pathetic to her, you grabbed your balls and started making yourself a better person and she came back on her own? That is the ONLY what if that matters dude and you are not letting that play out at all. Closure comes from within. Nothing she can do or say will make you feel closure. She 'closed' things to the best she could when she ended things with you. You need to accept that now. I do not think you should go through with this. You are young and this is your first love, there's a huge chance its just GIGS (read about it) and that if you leave her alone she'll come back. If you do this, she may never. 2
sdraw108 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I'm going to tell her ill be at a park by her house everyday for a week at 6pm I see a restraining order in your future.
Oldcatskinner Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Turnerik, If I read this correctly, you are going away in August. That is almost one month away from right now. Hear me out on this one: Concentrate on living, and your studies pertaining to graduation. It'll keep your mind occupied and good grades are always a plus. You have a great opportunity to use this month to better yourself and the schoolwork and job afterward is an opening door right in front of you. As to letting her know you are leaving-I would not tell her what your plans are this far in advance, and most certainly would not tell her that I was going to be waiting nearby at X time and X place. This is not a drug deal or Hollywood bullcorn, it is a matter of the heart. If you want to tell her, man up, go knock on her door, and if she answers, invite her outside to talk. I would not go inside her place unless she explicitly invited me in. If she doesn't want to talk, LEAVE. Don't beg. Don't grovel, and DO NOT get visibly angry with her. (I speak from learning the hard way, and was lucky to come away with just a broken heart). Do what you need to do for yourself, buddy.
Recommended Posts