Michelle83 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 So I'm just wondering, for those of you in a relationship or married, when you compare how attracted and by that I mean purely 'want to jump his bones' (not personality, etc, although I do realize they can be hard to separate, but do your best ) of your current significant other compared to past ex's, is it the strongest it's ever been? I was seeing this one guy a while ago and it was almost like he had a spell over me. It was like all he had to do was be in the room and I'd pretty much be 100% turned on. It's almost indescribable and like nothing I've ever experienced before. Unfortunately I don't think he was looking for anything more than FWB situation so it's over now. Part of me just worries now whether I'd ever find something that strong and if I should hold out until I do? I met another guy recently who I connect with on so many levels and he seems really great... we're almost a perfect match, but that pure animal-like desire isn't nearly as strong. I feel almost silly to completely pass that up as finding someone who I'm so comfortable around and who has so many similar values, characteristics, etc is hard to come by. But at the same time, that uncontrollable desire is something else.
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hard for me to say, mostly because for me, attraction an personality go hand in hand. I am going to say no. Even though things didn't work out with my ex husband, I personally was very attracted to him, my sex life with him was on the same wavelength as the sex life I have now with my boyfriend. I can honestly say the crazy "I want to jump your bones" feeling happened more intensely with men whom the relationship was fleeting. Don't get me wrong, I still get that way with my man now, but since having sex is a part of our life together the need for it isn't as strong. I don't think it's a bad thing to not want to jump someone's bones all the time, I actually enjoy it, because the relationship itself is on a far deeper level. 1
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 No comparison. Not even in the same stratosphere, galaxy, universe...you name it. The attraction I feel for my wife, even after nearly 14 years together, just absolutely stomps all over any attraction I've ever felt in my life. 3
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Without factoring in the non-tangibles, it's impossible for me to be attracted. As far as physical aesthetic preferences, my husband fits my type so there's no cognitive dissonance. 1
pyramid Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 So I'm just wondering, for those of you in a relationship or married, when you compare how attracted and by that I mean purely 'want to jump his bones' (not personality, etc, although I do realize they can be hard to separate, but do your best ) of your current significant other compared to past ex's, is it the strongest it's ever been? I was seeing this one guy a while ago and it was almost like he had a spell over me. It was like all he had to do was be in the room and I'd pretty much be 100% turned on. It's almost indescribable and like nothing I've ever experienced before. Unfortunately I don't think he was looking for anything more than FWB situation so it's over now. Part of me just worries now whether I'd ever find something that strong and if I should hold out until I do? I met another guy recently who I connect with on so many levels and he seems really great... we're almost a perfect match, but that pure animal-like desire isn't nearly as strong. I feel almost silly to completely pass that up as finding someone who I'm so comfortable around and who has so many similar values, characteristics, etc is hard to come by. But at the same time, that uncontrollable desire is something else. I know exactly what you mean. I would get turned on just getting a text message from him. (Glad I'm not a guy. LOL) We actually did the FWB thing for a while and in getting to know him better, I realized that the sex was the whole connection. We still talk, but he isn't relationship material - even if that is what he was looking for. The guy I'm seeing now, like you said - we have a great connection on many levels, but I don't have the desire to immediately get naked with him (plus it's still early, we haven't had sex, so I guess it's apples to oranges). 1
shexy Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Yeah, I had one of those before....just thinking about the guy turns me on. We had the most amazing perfect sexual chemistry. Unfortunately, he didn't want the whole relationship thing and I did, so it ended up not working out. I don't want to end up comparing other guys I date in the future to him, but I admit it will be hard not to try and find that hot of sexual chemistry again. 1
Author Michelle83 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Yeah, I had one of those before....just thinking about the guy turns me on. We had the most amazing perfect sexual chemistry. Unfortunately, he didn't want the whole relationship thing and I did, so it ended up not working out. I don't want to end up comparing other guys I date in the future to him, but I admit it will be hard not to try and find that hot of sexual chemistry again. Yeah, this is the hardest struggle I find. It's just so hard not to. With him it was so powerful and now it's like once you've had it, you want it again. But for me it seems like that type of powerful chemistry is really hard to find, so I'm kind of thinking I need to try and get past it.
KungFuJoe Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I guess it's easy for me to say this sitting where I'm sitting, but I think passion and chemistry are just as important as all the other things you look for in a relationship such as compatibility and respect. 1
Author Michelle83 Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 The guy I'm with now I am physically attracted to and I'm attracted to his personality but my ex was like woah! I was so attracted to his personality but he wasnt the hottest guy ever but I was so into him. I think I'm taking my time this time though with this guy. Yeah, I think maybe as long as it's there to some degree, it can grow. Another thing I was thinking about today, with the amazing-attraction guy, all we pretty much ever did was fool around/sleep together, so I wonder if that had an influence on things. I mean when I think of him, I think primarily about the physical stuff since it's pretty much all of what we did (we did go out a few times, but was rare and in between). Then in addition to us fooling around for 6 months, I must have thought about him a good couple hundred times at least while self-pleasuring, so that may have conditioned me in a way to just grow the whole 'turn me on' to such an extent. With the other guy, I haven't even kissed him, so there's zero thoughts about physical to begin with. So part of me wonders, maybe, if I did try kissing him and we even went so far as to sleep together, if that pure attraction might get much stronger. 1
Phantom888 Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 I had a college GF who had the most amazing natural D-cup breasts ever. I often fantasized about her when I was married, when my marriage was falling apart. I thought to myself if only I could go back in time, and not break up with her in college. I have had a number of amazing sex partners since, but I still remember that college girl.....until I met my current lady....Her curves turn me on a whole different level. On top of that, I am deeply in love with her, which makes her the ultimate turn on for me. I seriously think if your current S.O. is not the best you ever had, you need to move on. Clearly it's all psychological. Your brain is telling you that he is not THE ONE. 1
Casablanca Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 Never crosses my mind, I can't find myself that attracted to someone who isn't personally attracted to me and knowing someone is into me, just makes my attraction to them stronger 1
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