Star Gazer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Just what the question says. How far (distance or driving time) does a SO have to be for you to consider it "long distance"?
Els Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Ummm, my personal definition for LDR would be that you can't get there, spend time with the person, and get back all in one day. VLDR would be cross-continent, or airplane fares that would suck you dry if you tried to visit more than once every few months. As you can see, financial circumstances and modes of transport available play a part in my definition - probably the key estimate would be how often you could potentially afford to see each other. 8
LittleTiger Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Just what the question says. How far (distance or driving time) does a SO have to be for you to consider it "long distance"? I don't think there is a 'definition' of long distance. If you live 100 miles apart but neither of you has a car and there's no reasonable public transport the distance could be a nightmare. If you live a 2hr plane flight away but have a private jet and can travel every day the distance is irrelevant. It's all relative! 1
LittleTiger Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Ummm, my personal definition for LDR would be that you can't get there, spend time with the person, and get back all in one day. That's a pretty good indicator. On the other hand though, as 'one day' is 24 hours - allowing 8 hours sleep and 8 hours spent together, that could still mean 4 hours travelling each way - which is probably still 'long distance' by most people's standards. Interesting question, but there isn't really a definitive answer. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I think my definition is it takes several hours drive/fly etc to see them, you can't see them every week, or maybe you could if you have plenty of money and able to get time off work every week, but it's too far to do every weekend. It's all relative because if my partner were to move closer and only be a 3 hour train ride away I wouldn't see this as LD because compared to what we have now it isn't!
justwhoiam Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Long distance is when you cannot drive to your significant other, meet them for a date and drive back home the same day. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Ummm, my personal definition for LDR would be that you can't get there, spend time with the person, and get back all in one day. Interesting. I was *this close* to calling my situation a long-distance thing, but based on this it very much isn't. It's an 80 minute drive on a good day, 2.5 hours on a bad day... more good days than bad days. But it definitely requires planning, which is what makes it feel like long-distance to me. It's not like you can be chatting and say, "Come over" and have them pop up 15 minutes later. Gah.
Pyro Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Long distance is when you cannot drive to your significant other, meet them for a date and drive back home the same day. This....Elswyth said it too in another way. Does a 23 hour flight constitute as long distance? 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I would define it as not being able to see them whenever you want BECAUSE of the distance. 3
Els Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Interesting. I was *this close* to calling my situation a long-distance thing, but based on this it very much isn't. It's an 80 minute drive on a good day, 2.5 hours on a bad day... more good days than bad days. But it definitely requires planning, which is what makes it feel like long-distance to me. It's not like you can be chatting and say, "Come over" and have them pop up 15 minutes later. Gah. How about Medium Distance Relationship? :laugh: Honestly, I agree that what you're mentioning would certainly be an obstacle, albeit not as big an obstacle as further distances. Regardless of whether it's a LDR or semi-LDR or MDR, though, you have to assess whether or not you feel this person is worth the obstacle.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 How about Medium Distance Relationship? :laugh: Honestly, I agree that what you're mentioning would certainly be an obstacle, albeit not as big an obstacle as further distances. Regardless of whether it's a LDR or semi-LDR or MDR, though, you have to assess whether or not you feel this person is worth the obstacle. I don't know yet. I don't think he does either. He's just all sorts of dreamy and we connect really well so far. We'll see. I've only done really-local or flight-required. I almost think flight-required might be easier (albeit more expensive) in general, but he works in my city several times a month. So, that helps.
Els Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I don't know yet. I don't think he does either. He's just all sorts of dreamy and we connect really well so far. We'll see. I've only done really-local or flight-required. I almost think flight-required might be easier (albeit more expensive) in general, but he works in my city several times a month. So, that helps. Why do you feel flight-required would be easier? Wouldn't the trip to the airport + check-in time limit alone exceed 80 minutes? At any rate, I think this is one of those wait-and-see things? If you two really hit it off, then a 1.5-2 hour drive isn't that much. And if you don't really hit it off, perhaps a moot point? 2
tbf Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 If neither of you have pets or dependents, there's no reason why sleepovers couldn't happen often. 80 minutes isn't too far to commute to work, from a partner's home. 4
Author Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Els: I guess it's the whole, so close but so far away thing. He or I can't just pop over all that easily. In rush hour, it's a time consuming drive. Off-hours, it's easy. If neither of you have pets or dependents, there's no reason why sleepovers couldn't happen often. 80 minutes isn't too far to commute to work, from a partner's home. We're both child and pet free, and both have some (not a ton, but some, him moreso than me) autonomy in scheduling our workdays. It's totally doable, just not something I've experienced before. 1
LittleTiger Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 It's totally doable, just not something I've experienced before. SG, if you like the guy just give it a go. If neither of you has any ties and at least one of you can travel outside peak times, you should easily be able to find a routine that works. That kind of distance and travelling time will feel like 'nothing' if the relationship turns out to be special. 1
Chris516 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Ummm, my personal definition for LDR would be that you can't get there, spend time with the person, and get back all in one day. VLDR would be cross-continent, or airplane fares that would suck you dry if you tried to visit more than once every few months. As you can see, financial circumstances and modes of transport available play a part in my definition - probably the key estimate would be how often you could potentially afford to see each other. Elswyth, Described it perfectly. 1
LittleTiger Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Another thought - I don't think it really matters what anybody else considers long distance - it's about what you think is manageable for you. Given our current circumstances (30hr flight), 80 minutes in a car would feel like we were practically next door - and if you ever wanted to make it permanent you could move to somewhere in the middle and neither of you would even have to change jobs! 2
Emilia Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 From what I have seen as well, sometimes distance can encourage you to make decisions regarding your relationship faster. Not always a bad thing - depending on compatibility of course. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Yes, if my partner were in this country and only 3 hours by train it wouldn't seem LD compared to what we have now! 80 minutes, or 2 hours, by car would just be wonderful. Another thought - I don't think it really matters what anybody else considers long distance - it's about what you think is manageable for you. Given our current circumstances (30hr flight), 80 minutes in a car would feel like we were practically next door - and if you ever wanted to make it permanent you could move to somewhere in the middle and neither of you would even have to change jobs! 3
SweetiePie12 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Just what the question says. How far (distance or driving time) does a SO have to be for you to consider it "long distance"? In our case, it's 2 hours.
SweetiePie12 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 If you two really hit it off, then a 1.5-2 hour drive isn't that much. Exactly. Once, just so I could stay an extra night, he woke up super early to drive me to work, then turned around and drove right back home. He easily spent 5 hours on the road that day, rush hour traffic. Too sweet. ♥
SweetiePie12 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 From what I have seen as well, sometimes distance can encourage you to make decisions regarding your relationship faster. I agree. I had my doubts about this relationship, and where we'd live was an area of concern. So when he said I'd need to convince him to move back here, that was all the green light I needed! I thought he'd never consider it, but parts of this town he really likes a lot, so -- win/win!
Author Star Gazer Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 From what I have seen as well, sometimes distance can encourage you to make decisions regarding your relationship faster. Not always a bad thing - depending on compatibility of course. I guess that's my fear; a rush to judgment that's negative, based simply on distance.
MissBee Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 A relationship is LDR, n my opinion, when you have to actively plan and make a trip out of seeing your SO, which is significantly out of the way of your normal life and where you normally go. 2
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