passionflower3 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I went straight NC on the assclown. This is so tough. I've posted a couple threads before about my situation. The last straw was him cursing me out over the dumbest thing ever: me borrowing his sandals (nothing new between us) and forgetting to tell him about it (b/c I left his house at 6a on a weekday and, well, LIFE got in the way...and, also, they're FLIP FLOPS...really??). Our dysfunctional pseudo-relationship was never anything to fight for, anyway. Ugh. He apologized profusely, only after continuing to be a jerk about it (sending me pics from his vacation, saying "this is why I needed my shoes...", which I ignored). I ignored his first few attempts to apologize. But he kept calling and begged me to answer. I answered. We talked. It didn't matter what he said or how sorry he was. I didn't budge. I told him we have both crossed the lines of disrespect and it's NOT something I need/want in my life. I've never had this much drama in ANY relationships, platonic or romantic. I've never lashed out at anyone the way I've lashed out at him. And I've certainly never had anyone lash out at me the way he has. I told him I love him, which I do. When we're not being terrible to each other, he's really my ideal man. But I can't subject myself to this push/pull drama just for those few moments when he's good. It's totally not worth it. Anyway, I asked him to please respect my wishes and to leave me alone. He continued to apologize. I thanked him for his apology and said goodbye. I was planning to completely ignore him, but I feel empowered to have been able to talk to him, accept his apology, and still been able to be firm about going NC. I usually turn to putty in his hands. I'm quite proud of myself. It's been two weeks so far. It has been tough, though. I cried on and off for the first few days. And I have been on the terrible verge of texting a hello or some stupid breadcrumb of the sort. I have good friends, though, who I can turn to when I'm feeling down. I told them not to even mention his name around me. Yes, my emotions are that embedded in this man (undeservingly so, I believe). I think he realized how serious I was because he hasn't thrown any breadcrumbs either. Usually by now, one of us breaks (this has been going on and off for over a year). Just thought I'd share. For some odd reason, it's therapeutic to type it all out. I need this man out of my emotional life. I can't avoid him for good since I have to work with him in a couple months, but at least I can use this time to form some sort of an emotional wall. I need to get to the point of INDIFFERENCE. Cheer me on!
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