bac Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Because I genuinely liked him as person and Friend simple as that. No I was not getting off on him wanting me am not in HS it simply was not right time for me and he knew it. It was very immature of you to think that he did not want to have sex with you. You used him for what you needed (a friendship). But, he was not able to use you for what he needed (for sex). Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 It was very immature of you to think that he did not want to have sex with you. You used him for what you needed (a friendship). But, he was not able to use you for what he needed (for sex). Good lord I feel like Hitler its not that I did not knew what he wanted Its that HE knew what I did not want at least not yet and somehow am still guilty party. I told him lots of times trust me HE KNEW damn it all now am half tempted to actually ask him did he really thought I was leading him on and how could he have. I told him about my last relationship and that it was train wreck I told him no chance am at place and time to try again him or any other guy. Yeah I did liked hanging out with him but I never used him he always was one to choose will he be around or not I never even freaking flirted with him I was completely decent and If I wanted I could have made him my toy yet I did not. So girls should just not be friends with guys is all I get from here And good luck trying being friends with another girl most of them are "vicious" b... that would sell their own mother if it benefited them Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Then it was never a real friendship in the first place. Move on. Unfortunately, most men befriend women for sexual purposes... hell, my own bf let me in on this lil tidbit of info, and explained it to me too. That's why men that are really into you and want you for their own hate to hear that you have a lot of "male friends". This is true and the funny thing is there are women that think " Oh! My male friends aren't like that". I laugh because a lot of male "friends" are just waiting for the perfect time to make their move. The thing is as a man you have to stop being afraid to say what you want. Pretending to be a friend only to really want more is deceptive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Does a lot mean every ? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Does a lot mean every ? No of course not. There are normal sane guys out there who are capable of maintaining boundaries. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Well thank God for small mercies then 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 So girls should just not be friends with guys is all I get from here The thing is a lot of guys see women being friends with guys as an ego boost. Well the ones that aren't trying to use friendship as a smoke screen lol. Men are cool with having only male friends. Women on the other hand on some level love the attention men give so male friendship is an easy uncomplicated way to do that because they don't have to expend the same type of energy they would in dating. Plus they don't have to have sex with them. As a matter of fact the man that wrote Think Like A Man, Steve Harvey said this: "Just about all of my friends are men. I don’t really have any female friends. For the most part, I am incapable of maintaining a platonic friendship with a woman. My wife is my closest female friend, and beyond that, I don't have any. Many women will say, 'I have a number of men who are my good friends.' That’s not true. Those men are your friend only because you have made it absolutely clear that nothing else is happening beyond the platonic friendship that you created, not him. Men will remain your friends in the hope that someday, there will be a 'crack in the door' or a 'chink in the armor.' Once you open the door of opportunity, that guy who you thought was just your 'buddy' will put forth his best effort to slide into that 'crack in the door' you opened. 99.9% of men feel the same way I do about platonic friendships. If you don't believe me, ask your 'male friends' if they would be okay dating you or having sex with you. Then, watch the fireworks happen." His statement is 100% true. A quote I read once: "women value flattering attention and entertaining conversation in the same way that men value hand jobs and blowjobs." That is why women seek out male platonic friendships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 So you can't be friends with man because they want to sleep with you And you can't be friends with woman because its all about competition out there ? ( been there done that ) Pardon my French BUT What the hell is left then ? Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 So you can't be friends with man because they want to sleep with you And you can't be friends with woman because its all about competition out there ? ( been there done that ) Pardon my French BUT What the hell is left then ? Why do you want friendship with a man? I have female friends but I say they are that because I know by the fact that they are willing to fix me up with someone that they are not looking an ego boost. A woman is a true friend to a man if at some point when asked she is willing to be a wingwoman and help him meet women. Even ministers say Adam and Eve weren't created to be platonic friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Never had a luck with having girl friends. And no am not thinking am better or worse then anyone else but simply it did not happen sooner or later I would be sorry I even tried. Plus my one girl friend moved to far away family kids obligations and then it all fell trough. So what is a girl to do become recluse ? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Why do you want friendship with a man? Not the OP but perhaps you are interested in general female perspective: I like men very much. I like their sense of humour, enjoy the camaraderie, it's nice to be out with a group of them and playfully wrestle only for them to pretend to be scared . I love boys, wish I grew up with brothers. I have female friends but I say they are that because I know by the fact that they are willing to fix me up with someone that they are not looking an ego boost. A woman is a true friend to a man if at some point when asked she is willing to be a wingwoman and help him meet women. So you value friends according to what they can provide for you? Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Not the OP but perhaps you are interested in general female perspective: I like men very much. I like their sense of humour, enjoy the camaraderie, it's nice to be out with a group of them and playfully wrestle only for them to pretend to be scared . I love boys, wish I grew up with brothers. So you value friends according to what they can provide for you? No I don't value friends according to what they can provide, but as a man that has had a history of coming across women that have used me as an ego boost that is just my way of knowing they are there for me. Hell if they said that guy you know is cute I would hook them up. I don't ask anything of anyone I wouldn't do myself and the thing is I expect that same quality in return Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Emilia is right with man girl can be "her" they do not give crap who bought latest bag shoes or skirt of the rack or from Mark Jacobs himself. They do not care about vicious office gossip they do not care if that Skank from down the street has young hotter better guy. Guys actually can guard your secrets give advice and not screw you up in process this is just one of 100 reasons why girls like having guy friends. Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Not the OP but perhaps you are interested in general female perspective: I like men very much. I like their sense of humour, enjoy the camaraderie, it's nice to be out with a group of them and playfully wrestle only for them to pretend to be scared . I love boys, wish I grew up with brothers. The thing is most men get that from other men. I mean they don't hang out with groups of women for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 No I don't value friends according to what they can provide, but as a man that has had a history of coming across women that have used me as an ego boost that is just my way of knowing they are there for me. Hell if they said that guy you know is cute I would hook them up. I don't ask anything of anyone I wouldn't do myself and the thing is I expect that same quality in return So you don't just enjoy your time with people, you have to analyse why they are with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Now am confused to 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Does a lot mean every ? No... and I'd argue that men who are incapable of having a mutually beneficial, healthy friendship with a woman without sex are more likely to view women as just something to screw and nothing else. In other words, they don't see women as human beings... To these men, women are just 'things' that meet their sexual needs... and whatever these men are willing to offer in the way of emotional support is just what they do to get sex. Nothing more. OP, you saw what happened with the guy you thought was your friend. Did he have any other legitimate female friends? Also, ask yourself... was this a mutually beneficial friendship? And what I mean by that is, if he were a woman... would you treat him the same way? Is your support of him reciprocal, or do you just call him when you need something? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 So you don't just enjoy your time with people, you have to analyse why they are with you? I do enjoy my time with people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 The thing is most men get that from other men. I mean they don't hang out with groups of women for that. Well clearly since that's what men do. However they often enjoy getting a different energy that's not masculine or just talk about different things that are a bit offbeat perhaps with their male friends. The mutual hooking up thing doesn't exist between my friends and I. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 Well clearly since that's what men do. However they often enjoy getting a different energy that's not masculine or just talk about different things that are a bit offbeat perhaps with their male friends. The mutual hooking up thing doesn't exist between my friends and I. This I can understand 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 This I can understand sorry blue, didn't mean to hijack your thread. People's take on opposite sex friendships is fascinating Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 3, 2013 Author Share Posted July 3, 2013 No its fine do not worry : )) As you can see am trying to figure this thing out as well and it seems from the very beginning by words of some it was set up to fail. And its surprising that it hurts if I was one of those b... that collect man's names under their heels it would be no big deal at all but am not. Am damn goodie good girl no malice in me unless same its shown And I actually miss having those hang outs we had wonder was there something else I could have or should have done 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 No... and I'd argue that men who are incapable of having a mutually beneficial, healthy friendship with a woman without sex are more likely to view women as just something to screw and nothing else. In other words, they don't see women as human beings... To these men, women are just 'things' that meet their sexual needs... and whatever these men are willing to offer in the way of emotional support is just what they do to get sex. Nothing more. OP, you saw what happened with the guy you thought was your friend. Did he have any other legitimate female friends? Also, ask yourself... was this a mutually beneficial friendship? And what I mean by that is, if he were a woman... would you treat him the same way? Is your support of him reciprocal, or do you just call him when you need something? I don't see women as such. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Am damn goodie good girl no malice in me unless same its shown And I actually miss having those hang outs we had wonder was there something else I could have or should have done Yes I'm always sorry when I lose someone I value regardless what the reason is. That's a natural way to feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Well clearly since that's what men do. However they often enjoy getting a different energy that's not masculine or just talk about different things that are a bit offbeat perhaps with their male friends. The mutual hooking up thing doesn't exist between my friends and I. In general I just don't have many friends but that is what happens when you find out a "friend" tries to get you killed. I have a few experiences with "friends" Link to post Share on other sites
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