Author bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 Yeah they have a word for this its called tease but this was not such a case Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Yeah they have a word for this its called tease but this was not such a case He made his expectations too high and didn't account for the fact that actually you were simply not interested in him. Such a common pitfall that every guy has been guilty of at least once in his life so hopefully he will learn from it and realise that its better to wait for a genuine signal before putting faith into something that doesn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
white Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Men and women do this. It isn't gender, it's personality. These people are immature. It isn't necessarily focused on sex either. It takes a lot of personal investment to start a relationship. When it goes wrong it's a blow. Real adults take blows and move on. Children throw tantrums about it. If it was all about sex, then that's all it would be about and they wouldn't waste time crying. They'd forget you in a second and move on to the next prospect. You must already know that. Paradoxically, they scream and rage because they cared. We all cared and failed and some point. Probably many times. That's how those of us with the maturity to deal with it learned. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 I suppose he did or might have but he was also a vicious in that argument when it all went to hell. If I was piece of paper I would have been torn apart nice behavior for someone who cares eh .... Link to post Share on other sites
SuperGeek Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Spend a few months being an average male getting rejected most of the time by females and then you might understand why some of us react badly to it sometimes. The dating world is pretty harsh and you ladies can reject us pretty harshly too. I'm not supporting guys that act like idiots when getting rejected, but you have to understand that many guys get rejected 20-30 times in a row before even getting one date. Some even have it worse than that. I think I'm up to 15 attempts now with not a single first date success in quite awhile. I've given up for awhile because I was trying too hard. Many of you forget just how easy it is to sit back and let the offers flow in. You all have it so damn easy and you don't even realize it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Then it was never a real friendship in the first place. Move on. Unfortunately, most men befriend women for sexual purposes... hell, my own bf let me in on this lil tidbit of info, and explained it to me too. That's why men that are really into you and want you for their own hate to hear that you have a lot of "male friends". Your bf wanted you for sexual purposes did he not? Basically if a guy shows interest in you, its odds on he sees you as desirable. there are different ways to get to know the girl, and being friends first is one of them, though as many guys will know from experience its not a good way to do it. The male friend guy most likely (in this case its a definite) wants to see her naked as much as the sleazy charmer at the niteclub who is running game on her hoping to convince her to get cozy in the back seat of his car. A guy who wants to be your friend just generally does not want to only f you. He wants you for a gf. Probably a better chance of him sticking around (since he has already for months of no sex) than the chat up artist you meet in the niteclub/street. Its pretty clear this guy wanted more then friends and was hoping the good impression he was making as a friend was going to make her see what a swell guy he is and would make a good bf. He's playing the long game, and got stroppy when it became clear it didn't work. He's not a true friend, but at the same time that does not mean he's a scum bag. A shmuck though for insulting her. There is no obligation for it to be how he wants and she doesn't owe him anything but friendship in return. Often you will see guys play the friend and go overboard so the friendship is very one sided to win her over. Even here the woman does not owe them (assuming she is not leading him on). The guy set himself up, by not being upfront early on as to his intentions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 So somehow it seems like HE is poor one and not me Just wait until someone says I should apologize to him as well I was not harsh was not leading him on damn it I know how girls can be and I was not like that. I just might have said wrong thing when he provoked me and it went to hell from there Link to post Share on other sites
SuperGeek Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) Well you basically friend-zoned him and that feeling REALLY sucks. But it's his own damn fault for reading too much into the friendship. He won't likely make that mistake again. He has learned (thanks to you) that being friends with a girl first doesn't mean you can hook up with them. Some of us can handle being friend-zoned and some can't. I personally don't mind being friend-zoned to girls I'm not interested in. Being friend-zoned to a girl I find I'm really attracted to reallllllllllllly sucks though so i usually end those relationships as it will just create more stress in my life. Sometimes I stay friend with them though because they have hot friends. It's a case by case basis. I think the line in the sand for me is when I start to really care about them and it's not reciprocated -- THAT is when it's time to cut the cord. Hopefully this guy has learned to not get emotionally invested in a girl he's attracted to if he's been friend zoned. Edited June 30, 2013 by SuperGeek Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Then it was never a real friendship in the first place. Move on. Unfortunately, most men befriend women for sexual purposes... hell, my own bf let me in on this lil tidbit of info, and explained it to me too. That's why men that are really into you and want you for their own hate to hear that you have a lot of "male friends". If you have this attitude, then it's probably the type of crowd you run with and or the company you keep. Among my college crowd, it was a mix of men and women and they have been friends for years. They continue to stay friends after the women get married and have kids. So ... you think those guys are still chasing p@ssy? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 For the record women do this to men too. Contrary to gender stereotypes women are after sex with men at times with no intention of a relationship. They too will be friendly when they want sex and act out when they don't get it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Speaking from personal experience ? Yes, I have mentioned having an affair with a teacher in high school. Well, there were times she was in the mood and I was not. She would get bitchy after I refused her. That was the first time I observed that. An ex I wrote of here long ago, "s" did the same. When she was in the mood and I wasn't she acted out horribly. Even outside a relationship when women don't get the attention they want they act out. An extreme case, Jodi Arias. Murder of Travis Alexander - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I don't think it's very common, I don't think it's something guys do any more than women do. Why do guys do this ? I swear five year old would not throw such a tantrum he did yet for few months he swore up and down am all that. Am somewhere between laughter tears and shock ladies guys your opinion please ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Spend a few months being an average male getting rejected most of the time by females and then you might understand why some of us react badly to it sometimes. The dating world is pretty harsh and you ladies can reject us pretty harshly too. I'm not supporting guys that act like idiots when getting rejected, but you have to understand that many guys get rejected 20-30 times in a row before even getting one date. Some even have it worse than that. I think I'm up to 15 attempts now with not a single first date success in quite awhile. I've given up for awhile because I was trying too hard. Many of you forget just how easy it is to sit back and let the offers flow in. You all have it so damn easy and you don't even realize it. Well. Isn't that a lame excuse... Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) It's a humiliation thing. If you had been a bloke and you insulted his favourite football team or something like that, ie. something more important than you, he would have offered to knock your lights out. On second thoughts he would have just done it without the invitation. Men like that are generous that way. The next thing you would have been aware of is lying on the pavement wondering what just happened, if you were lucky. Otherwise you would probably have been in the back of an ambulance, fighting for your life, with a serious brain injury. Insults, schmiltults; you can probably consider yourself lucky that he only dipped your ears in some verbal acid. On the Indian sub-continent; India, Pakistan, Bangladesh they like to formally close the rejection process by applying battery acid to the face. I'm not saying you should be grateful or anything, but it kind of puts another perspective on things. PS. There is a way to break a guy's ego as gently as possible. Women who can do that have a certain class about them. Edited June 30, 2013 by pcplod Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Spend a few months being an average male getting rejected most of the time by females and then you might understand why some of us react badly to it sometimes. The dating world is pretty harsh and you ladies can reject us pretty harshly too. I'm not supporting guys that act like idiots when getting rejected, but you have to understand that many guys get rejected 20-30 times in a row before even getting one date. Some even have it worse than that. I think I'm up to 15 attempts now with not a single first date success in quite awhile. I've given up for awhile because I was trying too hard. Many of you forget just how easy it is to sit back and let the offers flow in. You all have it so damn easy and you don't even realize it. That never excuses these sorts of things. You should never get involved with someone who you need more than they need you. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) I've had a couple of guys I dated (no sex) who got super pissed that I wouldn't go along with a FWB arrangement... They'd swear up and down that that wasn't their intentions, but were never willing to take the actions to prove otherwise. *shrug* Then, when I stop dating/talking/seeing them saying "Our goals and values don't match"... wow... they really let go with the insults. Had it happen here one time on LS with a guy I'd just TALKED TO ON THE PHONE a few times... man, he got really nasty and resorted to lying too... although I'd done nothing but be polite and nice to him. So yea, OP, it happens. Some guys really just have no couth and act like little cry babies when they don't get what they want. Some people feel the need to do the slash and burn when things don't work out. Since I don't date women, I have no idea if this happens as much the other way around or not. Edited June 30, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Had it happen here one time on LS with a guy I'd just TALKED TO ON THE PHONE a few times... man, he got really nasty and resorted to lying too... although I'd done nothing but be polite and nice to him. Now I'm busy guessing who that might be. I don't ask a lot of women out and the few times I've gotten a no or maybe I've had good luck coming back around again later on and getting a yes, so burning all bridges by being nasty is a dumb thing to do. It is kind of like stepping on a nail when you get rejected though, most guys just can't control themselves. Have to scream out loud. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 Girls do it too. Last weekend I was a party at my buddies house and crashed there cause I got drunk. After I was already in bed, not quite asleep this girl who was kind of hitting on me all night crawled in there and took her pants off. I told her I wasn't messing around with her and she called be "little bitch" and "cunt" along with a bunch of other things that I can't quite remember. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 Now I'm busy guessing who that might be. I don't ask a lot of women out and the few times I've gotten a no or maybe I've had good luck coming back around again later on and getting a yes, so burning all bridges by being nasty is a dumb thing to do. It is kind of like stepping on a nail when you get rejected though, most guys just can't control themselves. Have to scream out loud. Yap exactly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 A little update : Well I thought about it and decided to apologize for something bad I said to him it was kind of low blow tough even if he made me upset prior to that. Plus there is a other reason to this apology kind of be OK trough certain kind of experience thing to. I do not believe we can stay friends but I do feel better that I have done the right thing kind of like be bigger person. Not sure will he respond or what will he say things have gotten bad but at least my conciseness is clear now and that's whats important right ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JessieJ08 Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 They do this because rejection is hard to handle for them so they feel they have to make you feel as bad as they do for not getting your attention or affection. Its sad really but don't ever let people like this affect you thats all they are trying to do so maybe you will doubt yourself and give them a chance because your not any better then them your less... Ha Hello they approach you they are putting in so much work for you clearly your on a higher level then they are rather it be looks or personality you got them beat and that is all it is. For them to hear No or I dont want that with you out loud and then they freak out with insults is them just not accepting the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 They do this because rejection is hard to handle for them so they feel they have to make you feel as bad as they do for not getting your attention or affection. Its sad really but don't ever let people like this affect you thats all they are trying to do so maybe you will doubt yourself and give them a chance because your not any better then them your less... Ha Hello they approach you they are putting in so much work for you clearly your on a higher level then they are rather it be looks or personality you got them beat and that is all it is. For them to hear No or I dont want that with you out loud and then they freak out with insults is them just not accepting the truth. There is a lot of truth in this to Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 It's not men. It's immature people. I have rejected advances from women several times and my sexuality was then immediately called into question by them. And not exactly in a non confrontational, inquisitive "do you think maybe you are a homosexual?" My sexuality should be called into question, but because I sing along to Lana Del Rey songs, not because I turn down women I'm not attracted to, thank you very much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 So you are every woman's type ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 1, 2013 Share Posted July 1, 2013 So you are every woman's type ? Yeah. But not every woman is my type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluegreen Posted July 1, 2013 Author Share Posted July 1, 2013 : ))) I hope that was not meant as it sounded although of course everyone we meet can't be the one or even one we like. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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