sark-4 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Ok so I am new to dating again. I dated a guy for 6months. Things were going well until he decided to make a stupid decision. Him and a coworker/friend decided they wanted to take a weekend trip five hours away from home to an event. Okay now the wierd part is that she was a female. I was never invited to go but informed that he was. I did meet her a week before he left cause he thought I should. When I met her I kinda sensed that she had a crush on my bf. Then he starts telling me she is married but having marital problems. So when he got back I told him I was upset and hurt for not considering my feelings. The whole weekend he only called twice and I didnt hear a word from him Sunday, his excuse was that they traveled long route went to a casino and met up with another friend for dinner. So I talked to him about it and he didnt see anything that wrong with it cause I did meet her. However when I asked if he would like it if I did the same to him he said he would not like it. So what you guys think am I overreacting???
crederer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Were they in a hotel together? Or both just knew the same people? Those would be my concerns there. Was it work related, what kind of relationship do they have? How long have they known eachother? 2
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Ok so I am new to dating again. I dated a guy for 6months. Things were going well until he decided to make a stupid decision. Him and a coworker/friend decided they wanted to take a weekend trip five hours away from home to an event. Okay now the wierd part is that she was a female. I was never invited to go but informed that he was. I did meet her a week before he left cause he thought I should. When I met her I kinda sensed that she had a crush on my bf. Then he starts telling me she is married but having marital problems. So when he got back I told him I was upset and hurt for not considering my feelings. The whole weekend he only called twice and I didnt hear a word from him Sunday, his excuse was that they traveled long route went to a casino and met up with another friend for dinner. So I talked to him about it and he didnt see anything that wrong with it cause I did meet her. However when I asked if he would like it if I did the same to him he said he would not like it. So what you guys think am I overreacting??? I don't know if he was honest about what occurred or not, but regardless, I don't think you over-reacted. You're his girlfriend, after all, and this is a new relationship. When a relationship first starts, there is a lot of vulnerability. He should have taken your feelings into consideration. I suggest you sit down and talk to him about the matter. I can see it being as innocent as they claimed it to be-but I can also see it being a bald-faced lie. 1
Author sark-4 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 Thank you all for the replies. You guys confirmed what my feelings thoughts were on the situation. The trip was not work related it was a street festival and yes they stayed in same motel. They have known eachother for about a year. I tried looking at it from his point of view but I just couldnt accept it. I know this is minor but also the fact that he tooks pics of the event and of her and posted them on FB made me upset too cause anything we have done or pics that were take of us or me I senses he hisitated. Like I said I know thats probably minor but with everything else combined it makes me upset. When I talked with him about it he made it seem I was over reacting and made a look like it was a small petty matter.
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Thank you all for the replies. You guys confirmed what my feelings thoughts were on the situation. The trip was not work related it was a street festival and yes they stayed in same motel. They have known eachother for about a year. I tried looking at it from his point of view but I just couldnt accept it. I know this is minor but also the fact that he tooks pics of the event and of her and posted them on FB made me upset too cause anything we have done or pics that were take of us or me I senses he hisitated. Like I said I know thats probably minor but with everything else combined it makes me upset. When I talked with him about it he made it seem I was over reacting and made a look like it was a small petty matter. He either really believes it's a small, petty matter, or he's trying to shift the focus from himself to you being "paranoid". Either way, it's unacceptable that he just brushes your feelings off like that. It doesn't matter how long he's known her in contrast to you. He's dating you, so he should have at least taken what you said into consideration. I suggest talking to him again, and depending on the outcome of the conversation and how you feel at the end of it, you can make your decision from there. You can either end the relationship, or you can work on it with him. If he doesn't seem interested in working on his relationship with you, I suggest going with the former.
Yookie Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 What was his reason for not inviting you along if it was so innocent?
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Thank you all for the replies. You guys confirmed what my feelings thoughts were on the situation. The trip was not work related it was a street festival and yes they stayed in same motel. They have known eachother for about a year. I tried looking at it from his point of view but I just couldnt accept it. I know this is minor but also the fact that he tooks pics of the event and of her and posted them on FB made me upset too cause anything we have done or pics that were take of us or me I senses he hisitated. Like I said I know thats probably minor but with everything else combined it makes me upset. When I talked with him about it he made it seem I was over reacting and made a look like it was a small petty matter. This might be hard to hear, but I don't really think he cares about you that much... or perhaps he thinks you are really stupid. As a guy... I can't even imagine doing what he just did. The pretense of being open about it is ridiculous. Personally... I would highly recommend ending this relationship quickly. This type of behavior most likely isn't new and will get worse the more you put up with it. 1
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