na49 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I'd like to get some thoughts on this. My girlfriend and I know each other's passwords for basically everything and although I don't check up on her I feel uncomfortable knowing that I can get into her personal accounts. It makes me feel like I have a bit of "control" over her and that's not my game. I don't want to be "controlling". So do you and your SO share passwords with each other? If so, why? If not, do you think it is a good idea? I can't be the only one who thinks this is a bad thing.
Tinie Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 No I wouldn't have my bf's password or even care what it was. There's something called "trust" in a relationship, where you trust your SO not to be doing bad things behind your back. And it's their fb account or whatever. It would seem like an invasion of space to me. I'd rather spend my energy on hanging out with my SO and doing the activities we love, rather than checking their fb page to see if someone suspicious msged them. 2
Author na49 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 Surprisingly me knowing her password bugs me more than her knowing mine. We both have nothing to hide, I just don't see why it's necessary for us to know each other's password.
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Yes, my husband and I have each other's passwords for personal accounts. There's no reason not to since neither have anything to hide.
crederer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 If you don't want to be controlling, then don't look at her stuff. I agree with most people so far, if you have nothing to hide then there is no worries.
Author na49 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 I gave her my passwords without her asking and she gave me her password without me asking. She had actually changed it recently and wanted me to know her updated password. I didn't want to know it and was actually more comfortable before I knew it. It seems like couples sharing passwords is more common than I thought. I guess if she's the one who offered to give it to me, I really shouldn't be as uncomfortable about it as I am. Just another overreaction by me. Won't be the last time I do overreact to something.
bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I suppose if you got nothing to hide then you got nothing to fear
Buck Turgidson Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I suppose if you got nothing to hide then you got nothing to fear Excellent. Then I don't suppose you'd mind sharing all your passwords with us then? After all, you have nothing to hide.... or do you? And I'm guessing you make love with the bedroom shades wide open too so that everyone on the street can see you. After all, you have nothing to hide... or do you? Privacy is NOT about whether you have things to hide. 3
bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Excellent. Then I don't suppose you'd mind sharing all your passwords with us then? After all, you have nothing to hide.... or do you? And I'm guessing you make love with the bedroom shades wide open too so that everyone on the street can see you. After all, you have nothing to hide... or do you? Privacy is NOT about whether you have things to hide. Einstein dude thread is about two loving committed to each other people HOW did you managed to miss that part ?
InsaneTrombone Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I'd never give up my passwords to my SO. Trust should be there. I'm a pretty private person and hate the idea of someone snooping through my stuff for whatever reason. 3
tbf Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 A number of years ago on LS, another member used to rip into me for suggesting that privacy wasn't necessary between partners if they have nothing to hide. He eventually fessed up that he had gotten involved with a married woman. 2
bluegreen Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Woah there buddy. The topic is passwords between a committed couple..seeing as most people don't have committed relationships with everyone on the Internet, or passing by the side walk I don't see how on earth you've come to the conclusion that privacy between two people includes exposing yourself to the entire world. Perhaps because hos own nick name says enough about him "buck" worth buck smart for those that don't know buck= 1 $
InsaneTrombone Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I just got this error with the back button on LS "Prefetching is not allowed due to the various privacy issues that arise." Why does LS have privacy? Pffft. Seriously though, I'd want my SO to trust me without having to check up on me whenever they feel like. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I did it in my last R and after it ended my ex seems to have forgotten that I have all his passwords I changed all of mine after an hour of it ending. I wouldn't share them again though, I like to have some privacy.
veggirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 I've never sat down with a guy and been like "okay here are my passwords." I know my bf's phone and Ipad passwords because I see him punch them in all the time. He could turn his phone away I guess if he wanted and I wouldn't see it. He knows my phone password because of the same reason and knows my password to turn on my computer because I've had him get onto it for me. I don't know his email or credit card or facebook passwords and he doesn't know mine because...there has never been a reason to share them. I do think sitting down and spelling out passwords for each other is kinda weird and seems like you wanna be sure you can both spy if necessary. But when it comes out more naturally through usage and whatnot...no biggie. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 He's told me his bit I've forgotten it. I've had o log into things of his such as email and school stuff. He knows my phone one too, but I don't think he knows any of my other passwords. It's not something we actively think about. I've always not cared. It doesn't really matter to me either way.
firstworldproblems Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 ....But when it comes out more naturally through usage and whatnot...no biggie. Yeah, we have known our phone passwords forever, and we tell each other if we change those. I answer his phone, he answers mine, we text for each other etc. For accounts, my man has really great secure passwords that I can't remember, so though he has told me many of his account passwords before, I can't ever remember them. He makes such good passwords, he makes mine now :-) I have nothing to hide from him, he has nothing to hide from me, and we don't really snoop on each other checking up on things. Just think about it as she trusting you, she obviously doesn't think you will use it or laud it over her, it was her idea to give them to you.
Author na49 Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 I've never sat down with a guy and been like "okay here are my passwords." I know my bf's phone and Ipad passwords because I see him punch them in all the time. He could turn his phone away I guess if he wanted and I wouldn't see it. He knows my phone password because of the same reason and knows my password to turn on my computer because I've had him get onto it for me. I don't know his email or credit card or facebook passwords and he doesn't know mine because...there has never been a reason to share them. I do think sitting down and spelling out passwords for each other is kinda weird and seems like you wanna be sure you can both spy if necessary. But when it comes out more naturally through usage and whatnot...no biggie. Yeah we didn't sit down and have a conversation about it. She just told me them while I was on my computer. and I have told her mine as she was using my computer. I didn't think much of it then, but it bugged me a bit. I never would have asked for her passwords because I don't think it's necessary for me to know. but she gave them to me very casually so I guess it really is her way of showing me she has nothing to hide and trusts me that I won't snoop on her. She thought it was silly that I was a little bent out of shape over this. She looks at it as her way of trusting me, and showing me she has nothing to hide. She figures if I'm not going to be logging into her accounts, it's really not a big deal.
clia Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I've been thinking about this post, and I really can't imagine sitting down with my SO and exchanging passwords. I could see if you are married and sharing bank account info, or maybe an Amazon account. I agree with veggirl above that maybe you learn their passwords because you are sitting next to them. But, I really can't think of any reason other than insane jealousy and insecurity that I would need my SO's e-mail or Facebook passwords. Maybe to shut down their account if they died. That would be about it. It would never even occur to me to go and look at my boyfriend's e-mail account or Facebook. And I could never date a guy who demanded that info of me. I have nothing to hide, but it's just privacy stuff. I don't feel the need to have to share everything with my SO.
AKisBaked Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) I find this topic really one sided depending on a female or a male.. just MOI. I remember my ex had a problem with me not giving her my FB password.We would get into arguments of why I wouldn`t give it to her and she says that if I gave it to her it would make her feel more `secure" which doesn't make any sense.. I have nothing to hide from her, but it's the fact that you need other sources of proof and validation to trust me which is by my FB account.. But in return she won't give me her pw... so it's totally one sided, and that was a sign of her being controlling I feel that even with your SO, there are a few things that you would like to keep to yourself and its your own personal business. This doesn't mean like hiding other women or men or having the thought of cheating on your gf/bf-husbad/wife. Your with your SO for a reason. You chose them over anyone of those people your SO feels insecure or skeptical about. Having your SO know your pw to social media or anything is just asking for agruements and disaster to happen between the both of you. Once you know someones pw, it's human nature to be curious about who they talk to, and once you get access to their personal information its easy to get caught up on always checking up or snooping around their stuff to find ANYTHING that they can find to accuse their SO about.. And I find that really unfair... if you say you really care or love the person then social media and that shyt shouldnt even matter.. It should be like 2% of the relationship the rest of the 98% is about you two. I find that people who want to know their SO's pw are already insecure and cannot trust them therefore they need some other kind of source to make them feel secure, which is by looking at their virtual life.. You guys may disagree with me but its my own 2 cents, this is just the way I see it. Edited July 1, 2013 by AKisBaked
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 No I wouldn't have my bf's password or even care what it was. There's something called "trust" in a relationship, where you trust your SO not to be doing bad things behind your back. And it's their fb account or whatever. It would seem like an invasion of space to me. I'd rather spend my energy on hanging out with my SO and doing the activities we love, rather than checking their fb page to see if someone suspicious msged them. Can I get an Amen
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Can I get an Amen Amen! And now I'm just sitting here wondering if it's a bad or a good thing that we make love with the blinds wide open. Windows too!
soccerrprp Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Amen! And now I'm just sitting here wondering if it's a bad or a good thing that we make love with the blinds wide open. Windows too! Amen to trust! Put the blinds at an angle and the leave the windows open. Solved.
somedude81 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I wouldn't give a woman my passwords until after we've been married ten years. And even then it wouldn't be guaranteed.
soccerrprp Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I wouldn't give a woman my passwords until after we've been married ten years. And even then it wouldn't be guaranteed. I was married to an amazing woman for 12-years and we didn't make concerted efforts to share our passwords. If I need her to check something for me or vice versa, I would give it to her for that moment, but we didn't keep track of each other's PWs. And when we changed them for any reason, we didn't go running to each other to reveal the new PW. Trust, baby, trust.... 2
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