bryony Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) So, for work I had to go alone to a foreign country, for which I don't speak the language or know that much about the culture. From day one one of the guys there has been nice to me, from buying my train tickets to volunteering to take me home once or twice, to showing me his work basically to entertain me. According to my cousin's wife who grew up in the country, guys from that culture tend to be fairly standoffish and aren't going to make the first move or flirt, really. He's invited me, and his friend, out for a jazz festival and for beers after work and I've eaten lunch with him, and his friend, most of time ... I don't know if he's like that with everyone, or if he just likes foreigners (his friend), or maybe he just feels sorry for me because fairly recently he was in the exact same position. Anyway, I don't want a relationship since everything would be so long distance. It's not like I won't ever run into this guy again though, my boss has a professional connection with his boss, we're both working on phds in the same field, and there are international conferences/facilities. But as an African American woman from somewhere white men don't date African American women going to what is certainly the whitest culture in the history of the world I'm kinda flummoxed. I don't want to ask and ruin a perfectly good friendship, but at the same time life is short and I kinda want to experience all I can. Or is all this just because I'm lonely in a foreign country and at home I wouldn't have thought twice about it? Edited June 29, 2013 by bryony
hppr Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 What foreign country is this? If it's where I think it is that is how their culture is. Being an American abroad is kind of a shock since you learn that most people have better manners than we do.
pcplod Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Maybe he has instructions to be the consummate host or maybe he is a guy who simply defies the archetype your cousin's wife portrays. There are always exceptions to the rule, no matter how strict the stereotype is adhered to according to what we are commonly led to believe. Or maybe he just wants into the pants of a nice, good-looking woman who is in a strange land. To be honest, and to be fair to the guy, I don't really believe the latter is the case. There is frankly nothing in your post to indicate the possibility.
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