padparadscha Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 It is the 2000’s, but I think old fashion values are still stay in play aren't they? Can you help me with a puzzling question: Do women look right making the first move? Or is it still a rule that a man should do the pursuing? I am interested in getting to know someone I hire to instruct me, on a non-professional level. He is very serious about his work and does what I hire him to do very well. I don't think he wants to break his role of professionalism since it is his bread and butter. He ha told me when I asked him that he was in a relationship for 15 years and that he lives a lone and is a workaholic. He has let me know that his life is very fill with work and he tries to get out and do things outside of work, but he always feels guilty because he knows he is not getting enough sleep when he does this. So he really tends to work, work , work and hang out very little. I want to get to know him outside of the role of employee/worker. I am too shy to let him know face to face and I am not sure if he feels the same about me. Even though he volunteered that he was single and told me personal things, his face still never left that professional persona. Would it be okay to ask him in an email if he would like to get to know me outside of work related things? or is that a cop out to email him? What would I say if so? Would saying I am interested damage our professional relationship? I am not sure if I should pursue this, because I am not in love with him, I would only like to get to know him outside of the time I hire him for. What is the proper thing to do?
SoleMate Posted October 24, 2004 Posted October 24, 2004 I see no harm in getting to know him, as long as he is no longer working for you. That WOULD seem unprofessional. For example, if he is a music teacher or a language tutor, he doesn't want to get the reputation for teaching his students the erotic arts as well. He has let me know that his life is very fill with work and he tries to get out and do things outside of work, but he always feels guilty because he knows he is not getting enough sleep when he does this That's not encouraging, to put it mildly. He could have worded that much differently if he had wanted to encourage you.
Recommended Posts