desperategirl Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Hi, I've had two good dates and a coffee with a guy. After both the dates, he initiated texting. After the coffee date, he said he'd see me on Sunday. (this was wednesday). I later text him to change the night of the upcoming date, but he couldn't, but confirmed sunday was still on. i texted the next day, didn't hear back. still haven't. there's no plans as to time and place for date, but there is a specific activity planned. this also happened on our second, we only confirmed time and place on the day. so this is my question: i haven't heard from him since weds. its sat evening. Does this mean "he's not that into me" as i havent been bombarded with messages/contact? I know he was very busy. is it possible that as a date was set, he's just waiting to see me, or does the fact he's not been in touch mean he's probably not interested? all advice greatfully received!!
Betty7 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 It's early days! I would tend to not overthink it too much at this stage. Maybe he just wants to take it slowly? 1
Author desperategirl Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 Thanks for the advice. Makes sense. It's just that now we had agreed to meet tonight, but not heard from him since Weds. Should I just text and ask if we're still on, or just wait? I'm kind of now assuming it's not on, but hate that little bit of doubt.
Betty7 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Of course girl!! Go ahead and text! AT least you can stop obsessing about it!! And if he doesn't respond but does so at a later date.... It's not necessarily that he's not interested but it's a major red flag.. Try and meet a fella who you at least feel comfortable enough to be able to text without suffering from doubt and having to seek advice from an online forum... Don't be embarrassed about calling the shots girl.. It's the 21st Century!! 1
Author desperategirl Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 Eeeek. Will do it now. It's just a bit odd that he hasn't contacted me, bearig in mind we had said we were meeting today. Go figure. I have nothing to lose, I guess.
Gottabestrong Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hi DP, it doesn't necessarily mean that he is not interested, but his level of interest is probably low. Unless he is playing games. Not to contact you in 3 days and not to clarify the details of a date until the last day, or only in response to a text from you, does not scream high interest for me. Whenever I was dating someone who was acting like that, it did not last long. Sorry. My advice to you would be the following: Don't contact him! If he suddenly texts you at 5 pm saying something like 'I'll pick you up in an hour'. Reply saying something like: "Sorry, but when I did not hear from you all week I assumed the date was off and I made other plans. Next time!" That way you show him that you expect to have a firm date at least 24 hours ahead and if not you will not sit around to wait for him to see if you are still on. If you have already texted him, then I would suggest you use this approach next time. It might be very difficult if you really want to see him, but trust me, you don't want to go through this state of insecurity and not knowing whether you are still on EVERY single time. (Unfortunately I am speaking from experience.) Good luck! 3
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Hi, I've had two good dates and a coffee with a guy. After both the dates, he initiated texting. After the coffee date, he said he'd see me on Sunday. (this was wednesday). I later text him to change the night of the upcoming date, but he couldn't, but confirmed sunday was still on. i texted the next day, didn't hear back. still haven't. there's no plans as to time and place for date, but there is a specific activity planned. this also happened on our second, we only confirmed time and place on the day. so this is my question: i haven't heard from him since weds. its sat evening. Does this mean "he's not that into me" as i havent been bombarded with messages/contact? I know he was very busy. is it possible that as a date was set, he's just waiting to see me, or does the fact he's not been in touch mean he's probably not interested? all advice greatfully received!! It sounds like he was into you. It also kind of sounded like once he decided on Sunday, any other day wasn't open for discussion. Either that, or he assumed you wanting to change the date meant you weren't that in to him. Try texting him again, just in case he didn't receive the previous one.
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