I saw my ex in my dream lastnight, am I too weak?

[youcanever]

I saw my ex in my dream lastnight. We were back together. Hugging each other and telling each other we miss each other so much. And we were so happy.

 

Is it a sign that I should call her?

 

I haven't left the bed since I woke up. I can't stop crying and sulking. I can't even eat.

 

I miss her.

 

As a guy, am I not supposed to be the one who is strong? Why am I like this? Am I too week?

 

We had 5 months relationship and it has been 5 weeks since she broke up with me but called me last week. Which screwed me more.

 

What should I do?

 

Why am I such a whiny dude?

 

I hate myself right now.

[aloneinaz]

Why are you a whiny dude? Cause you're allowing yourself to be. It's YOUR choice if you want to spend more day/weeks/months pining over a failed relationship with a woman who didn't want you. Millions of people get dumped EVERYDAY. Some handle it better than others but most move on with there life, meet someone else and try again.

 

Breaking NC wasn't a good move either. Unless she leaves a message that she wants you back, ignore her for your well being.

 

Buy some books on break ups, go to therapy, do what you have to do to move on w/your life. Also, get mad. Why give so much attention to someone who doesn't want you? F-her! Find someone that will love you for you. You have to try on LOTS of shoes to find the pair that fits.

[youcanever]

Why are you a whiny dude? Cause you're allowing yourself to be. It's YOUR choice if you want to spend more day/weeks/months pining over a failed relationship with a woman who didn't want you. Millions of people get dumped EVERYDAY. Some handle it better than others but most move on with there life, meet someone else and try again.

 

Breaking NC wasn't a good move either. Unless she leaves a message that she wants you back, ignore her for your well being.

 

Buy some books on break ups, go to therapy, do what you have to do to move on w/your life. Also, get mad. Why give so much attention to someone who doesn't want you? F-her! Find someone that will love you for you. You have to try on LOTS of shoes to find the pair that fits.

 

I just can't find any energy in me. I really don't. In week days, I work 8am to 6pm and come home at 7 and sleep at 10 pm.. And now saturdays seem like a energyless too. I just stay home and watch movie. I just can't find any desire for anything.

 

I will sign up for swing dance class this tuesday. It will be once a week. Maybe it will make me feel good.

 

I don't know. I don't want to go to it either but I will force myself.

 

I'm also pretty scared to meet her there. Because she was the one suggested that course to me.

 

Weird times.

 

I wish these just pass.

 

I won't have any relationship anymore.

 

Don't want.

[Emilia]

Is it a sign that I should call her?

No

I haven't left the bed since I woke up. I can't stop crying and sulking. I can't even eat.

 

I miss her.

 

As a guy, am I not supposed to be the one who is strong? Why am I like this? Am I too week?

Yes

Why am I such a whiny dude?

I don't know why but I bet it put her off too if you were like this with her in real life.

[youcanever]

No

 

Yes

 

I don't know why but I bet it put her off too if you were like this with her in real life.

 

That was harsh but true.

 

How can I man up and be a real man without whining?

 

And yes, I was a little bit like this in her life too.

[Emilia]

That was harsh but true.

 

How can I man up and be a real man without whining?

 

And yes, I was a little bit like this in her life too.

Sorry but I think it was necessary

 

You have to learn to not express it so much. You will still feel it though I find if you pretend to be happier that usually have the result of feeling happier too eventually.

[youcanever]

Sorry but I think it was necessary

 

You have to learn to not express it so much. You will still feel it though I find if you pretend to be happier that usually have the result of feeling happier too eventually.

 

You know, I was like this first 2 weeks of NC. And the 3rd week of NC I was amazing. I was going to gym, girls started to seem interesting again, and I had lots of self confidence and even started not thinking of my ex.

 

Then I took the call and I'm a square one.

 

I wonder if ı will feel good again in a week Emilia. Because 8 days of NC already passed. But it is sooo hard. All I want is writing her "I still love you"

 

That's all.

 

I Know ı will feel bad because she won't reply.

[hotpotato]

If your ex saw your crying and sulking in bed, would she (or any woman for that matter) find that attractive? NO!

 

Please pick yourself up. It's normal to feel sad, but staying around in bed crying is not good for you. I promise in time you will feel better.

 

I dont think your dream was a sign. Brain processing inner tension maybe? A lot of people dream about their exes. I have. You shouldn't read too much into it.

[jkepler85]

It's alright man. I dreamed about my ex for several weeks until I actively started moving on. It sucks to have hot sex dreams about your ex and wake up to the realization that it was all a lie. Try working out and hanging with some other females, hopefully you'll start dreaming of them.

[Emilia]

I wonder if ı will feel good again in a week Emilia. Because 8 days of NC already passed. But it is sooo hard. All I want is writing her "I still love you"

 

That's all.

 

I Know ı will feel bad because she won't reply.

Of course you will and you have to leave the house more and go to the gym more. You need to learn to contain this and to snap out of it

[youcanever]

If your ex saw your crying and sulking in bed, would she (or any woman for that matter) find that attractive? NO!

 

Please pick yourself up. It's normal to feel sad, but staying around in bed crying is not good for you. I promise in time you will feel better.

 

I dont think your dream was a sign. Brain processing inner tension maybe? A lot of people dream about their exes. I have. You shouldn't read too much into it.

 

When I look at my past I now realise that my first gf was the best one for me. We were in different countries but managed to have LDR for 2.5 years and it was great even though we only saw each other for 3 weeks. And I was the one breaking up because of Long Distance.

 

And now I can't even do more than 4-5 months RL with girls in my own country.

 

I need to get my **** together.

 

And force myself to improve and be my bestself.

 

I know it is not a good idea to dream reuniting with your ex but I will improve myself just because maybe we meet with her and she loves me again.

 

I need that as a motivation.

[youcanever]

It's alright man. I dreamed about my ex for several weeks until I actively started moving on. It sucks to have hot sex dreams about your ex and wake up to the realization that it was all a lie. Try working out and hanging with some other females, hopefully you'll start dreaming of them.

 

I'm so glad that it wasn't a hot sex dream. It was like hugging each other and saying how much we missed each other and we were just happy that moment.

 

I will go on working out, and meet friends more often and as I wrote, I will force myself to go to that swing dance lessons.

 

I need some hobbies.

 

I don't want to do any of these but I need for force it.

[youcanever]

Of course you will and you have to leave the house more and go to the gym more. You need to learn to contain this and to snap out of it

 

If I feel good again in future, I will definitely won't pick up the phone if she ever calls.

 

I don't think she will though. I told her not to contact me again.

 

Hope she doesn't.

 

Thanks Emilia.

[youcanever]

I know it is just so stupid but I just saw that ex visited my Linkedin profile today.

 

What is that?

[SweetiePie12]

I saw my ex in my dream lastnight. We were back together. Hugging each other and telling each other we miss each other so much. And we were so happy.

 

Have you had dreams that come true before? I have, I did, and now...it's happening.

 

Is it a sign that I should call her?

 

Were you thinking about her before the dream? If not, yes, definitely reach out. It could be that you are receiving a telepathic message from her. What do you have to lose? And even better, think of what you may have to gain (if there's more love to share between the two of you)...!

 

I haven't left the bed since I woke up. I can't stop crying and sulking. I can't even eat.

 

I miss her.

 

Oh, maybe this is not a telepathic message from her. Sounds like you're obsessing.

 

Get out of the bed, go out in nature, stop fixating. You'll be alright!

 

As a guy, am I not supposed to be the one who is strong? Why am I like this? Am I too week?

 

Society has conditioned men not to show emotion. It's so unfair. So because of this, I believe men's hearts break harder than women. Us girls can cry it out & work things through, but a man is supposed to always be so strong (on the outside, at least).

 

What should I do?

 

Go for a hike, get outdoors; there's a whole world out there!

[SweetiePie12]

 

I will sign up for swing dance class this tuesday. It will be once a week. Maybe it will make me feel good.

 

I don't know. I don't want to go to it either but I will force myself.

 

I'm also pretty scared to meet her there. Because she was the one suggested that course to me.

 

Don't do it. Her girlfriend privileges are revoked, so her suggestions mean nothing.

[youcanever]

Have you had dreams that come true before? I have, I did, and now...it's happening.

 

 

 

Were you thinking about her before the dream? If not, yes, definitely reach out. It could be that you are receiving a telepathic message from her. What do you have to lose? And even better, think of what you may have to gain (if there's more love to share between the two of you)...!

 

 

 

Oh, maybe this is not a telepathic message from her. Sounds like you're obsessing.

 

Get out of the bed, go out in nature, stop fixating. You'll be alright!

 

 

 

Society has conditioned men not to show emotion. It's so unfair. So because of this, I believe men's hearts break harder than women. Us girls can cry it out & work things through, but a man is supposed to always be so strong (on the outside, at least).

 

 

 

Go for a hike, get outdoors; there's a whole world out there!

 

I don't think it is telepathic, because there is no second I'm not thinking of her. When I work, my mind distracts but even if I have 2 mins free time, I start thinking again.

 

But the weird thing is that she visited my Linkedin profile in last couple of hours. ???? And she did it 4-5 days ago too. Why?

 

And she is the one who broke up and told me that she see me as a friend more than a boyfriend.

 

And also after 3 weeks of NC, she called me last week and talked to me as a friend, told me she will send my stuff back, told me she doesn't call me to mix my mind, told me she doesn't even know why she calls.. All that clishes..

 

I believe it would be wrong to write her.

 

She broke up and if she wants to get back together she can call again or write in a text that she wants me back. I doN't want to take the first step and burn down again. I can't take it.

[SweetiePie12]

I find if you pretend to be happier that usually have the result of feeling happier too eventually.

 

Absolutely. Fake it 'til you make it. Be, do, have.

[youcanever]

Don't do it. Her girlfriend privileges are revoked, so her suggestions mean nothing.

 

Don't do what? Don't go to the course? Why?

 

She suggested that when we were a couple. She said we should go to that class together. But then she broke up.

 

And I really want to learn swing and it is the only swing course in city. But she was the one introduced me with the course.

 

Do you think if I go to that course it is like stealing her suggestion?

 

When she called last week, she asked me if I signed up the course, and I said no.

 

But now ı want to learn swings. I'm not going to the course to meet girls or anything, I just need some new hobby and mind distraction from the routione of work and from her.

 

Is it wrong?

[SweetiePie12]

 

Then I took the call and I'm a square one.

 

Seems kind of whimsical to me. Flaky, too. You deserve something more stable.

[SweetiePie12]

When I look at my past I now realise that my first gf was the best one for me. We were in different countries but managed to have LDR for 2.5 years and it was great even though we only saw each other for 3 weeks. And I was the one breaking up because of Long Distance.

 

And now I can't even do more than 4-5 months RL with girls in my own country.

 

I need to get my **** together.

 

And force myself to improve and be my bestself.

 

You sure do! Be the kind of person you'd like to be involved with. Don't look for others to complete you. Bring something to the table. What are your goals, ambitions? Do you!

[SweetiePie12]

I know it is just so stupid but I just saw that ex visited my Linkedin profile today.

 

What is that?

 

Interact with her on that level, then. Recommend her for stuff she's good at.

[SweetiePie12]

 

And she is the one who broke up and told me that she see me as a friend more than a boyfriend.

 

Then be a friend. When people tell you what they want, believe them.

 

And also after 3 weeks of NC, she called me last week and talked to me as a friend, told me she will send my stuff back, told me she doesn't call me to mix my mind, told me she doesn't even know why she calls.. All that clishes..

 

Keep it light and casual. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Just get your life and don't over-analyze her behavior.

[youcanever]

Then be a friend. When people tell you what they want, believe them.

 

 

 

Keep it light and casual. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Just get your life and don't over-analyze her behavior.

 

I don't know if you are doing this on purpose but you are giving the exact opposite advices people give here and I kind of find it funny

 

I can't be friends with my ex. How can I? I still have feelings and one day she will find a guy and stop talking to me? How to deal with it?

 

It is definitely not an option for me.

[SweetiePie12]

Don't do what? Don't go to the course? Why?

 

Well, I said that because I thought she was trying to run your life. But if you think you may run into her there, and you guys are on a friend level, go for it.