the_opposite_sex Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 overall, he said we did too much fighting and he was sick of it. I knew where he was coming from, but i wasn't ready to "give up" and end it. I was wanting to try to make it work. He obviously didn't agree. He says it's over for good. I mean i spent 3.5 yrs w/ this man. We have been through it ALL together. It's hard to let all that go, but i've accepted it. Has anyone else ever been w/ a guy or girl for a long period of time who can relate to me? Or can anyone give me any advice on how to cope? He said he may even realize that this is a mistake one day down the road, but he dont see it as one now. I'm not gonna sit around and wait for him either though. Also, do I remain friends w/ him, keep in contact w/ him or what? I mean I already know that i'm not gonna contact him unless he contacts me first.
Merin Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Well, I'm sorry things didn't go the way you had hoped... You know, I would recommend NOT trying to be his friend right now.. you really need the time away from him at this point to heal emotionally and really step back from things to see where you've been, where you're at and where you want to be. I wish you well....
theunknown Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Hi! I think that it is best for you to deal with getting back to the things that you used to enjoy. I agree, I think the two of you can be friends later on, but right now, you need the time apart, even though you knew things were going badly and fought, it is going to hurt you probably more than you think when he starts dating another. If you are friends at the same point he does start dating, then you are going to have to battle your feelings of supposedly still friends, as well, as those of him moving on, and let me tell you, it will drive you nuts one minute pretending you can remain friends, the next crying your eyes out asking questions, It will make the both of you misserable. Give it some time, maybe thing will work out in the end after the two of you see what it is like without eachother, besides if you are friends right now with him, how is he supposed to know what he is missing?
Artifact Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Yeah, hang back. I dated a guy for almost 6 years, with some separation for college. But, it didn't work out. We let our communication just die off. Then, maybe a quick "Hi" e-mail once or twice a year. It was still a little awkward. Eventually, we both got on with our lives, focused on our jobs, friends, new relationships, etc. Now, when we drop a quick e-mail off to each other, it is short, polite, and there is no wondering "Will we get back together?" We know it didn't work. Even with the opportunity to get back together, we didn't. I think you also need to return to your own habits, or make new ones. If you run into him, say Hi, move on. If he REALLY wants to see you again romantically, he will make valiant attempts. And, if or when he does, you may say, "No thanks, I'm happy on my own now."
oldandie1950 Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by Artifact Yeah, hang back. I dated a guy for almost 6 years, with some separation for college. But, it didn't work out. We let our communication just die off. Then, maybe a quick "Hi" e-mail once or twice a year. It was still a little awkward. Eventually, we both got on with our lives, focused on our jobs, friends, new relationships, etc. Now, when we drop a quick e-mail off to each other, it is short, polite, and there is no wondering "Will we get back together?" We know it didn't work. Even with the opportunity to get back together, we didn't. I think you also need to return to your own habits, or make new ones. If you run into him, say Hi, move on. If he REALLY wants to see you again romantically, he will make valiant attempts. And, if or when he does, you may say, "No thanks, I'm happy on my own now." Nice one! Artifact, as a older guy i am alone, now for I year this month and still find it hard after 25 yrs with the same woman. She finally left me alone with the excuse that she only was with me because she needed a man and i was a good one for her. I was glad to be that for her and now, looking back, we were "good" for for each other. Sex was just part of the process of being married to a man, for her. It was not a real joy her as it should be. In that, my heart is heavy for her. That said i am now alone, have no female friend(s). I am looking still but she, or they must be open with me as to their likes, needs, what is expected and on offer. For me, Commuication in all areas of relationship is the only answer.
PatheticDave Posted October 19, 2004 Posted October 19, 2004 going through your same situation...need to end it with my gf of about 4 years...we just got back together from the summer where we had problems but they are still there....i feel your pain, best way is to give yourself distance and not get back together just for security...
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